Husband with Bipolar disorder..need advice on how to cope

Specialties Psychiatric

Published

Hi,

My husband was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder back in October 2005. His meds finally started working in late November, early December. For the past two days he has been experiencing major anxiety, missed two days of work, and has been irritable as well. I am trying to schedule a dr. appt. for him-they are same day appts. so you have to call in early. Anyway, I am scared that it will become full blown again like it was in October--very manic. I have been educating myself on the disorder, but I feel like running away from it all. I am very strong willed, but have been through a lot with him, including alcoholism, and have had to deal with that all my life, my dad, my ex-fiance,etc.. I just want to give up sometimes. I don't know how to cope...anyone have any advice?

Jen:scrying:

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Oh sweetie... what a terrible situation. I'm so sorry. You need to look in your area for support groups for family members of mentally ill patients. Check with your husband's doctor's office, see if they can recommend one. If there aren't any locally, try online. None of us could go through it alone...

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Specializes in Education, Administration, Magnet.

I would also say support groups. You need to start taking care of yourself too. I wish you the best.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.

The family support group is called NAMI. Get your phone book and contact any hospital (who offers psych) or any Community Mental Health Center to ask for their meetings. You may also want to check with the United Way who may also know. The purpose of these support groups is to educate and support family members who have loved ones with significant mental illnesses. Many find what they need in them. I encourage you to find out.

Yes, please do schedule a Dr appt, get it on the books. The usual first symptom that folks with Bipolar display is sleep disruption. Monitor his sleep as well as his impulsivity and irritability. I encourage folks to place all symptoms on a 1-10 scale. This will be helpful for you and him, as well as the Dr, when monitoring symptoms....becoming worse or better. If he is becoming manic, now is the time to hold on to the credit cards and check book. Monitor if he is taking his medication...most folks when becoming manic become non compliant, which spirals the condition more. Your approach during this time is to be cool, supportive, objective, yet directive. You will learn all of this and more in the NAMI groups. I wish you and your husband the best in getting thru this episode. Keep us posted.

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Wolfie, as always, you rock.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I have a mentally ill son and NAMI has been invaluable for support and information. There are other support groups also - the Bipolar Alliance comes to mind - am unsure of locations, but know they have a website.

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soulfulllady, the only person who can help you is jesus. he can wipe your tears away (the blood of jesus). he can make you whole. he can take the pains away. he can heal your husband. jesus wants you to lay down all the burdens you have carried. jesus will break every yoke and lift the heavy burdens. he will heal the hopeless heart and bless the broken. you must open your heart and allow god to work and believe that god can help you.

good luck to you.

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Thank you all for your support and kind words. He actually was able to go to work today, and I told him if he needed to talk or get away, to just call me. We are going to the doctor on Friday afternoon, when he gets paid. I am waiting on a job myself in LTC as an LPN, but for now, I have been and will be looking into support groups to help me, us, our family. I love him with all my heart and will be there to hold his hand when he needs it. There are just times when I feel like running, but I know my problems will follow me. It's nice to escape for a little while though. Thanks again, I will keep you all posted....:nurse:

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Hi,

My husband was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder back in October 2005. His meds finally started working in late November, early December. For the past two days he has been experiencing major anxiety, missed two days of work, and has been irritable as well. I am trying to schedule a dr. appt. for him-they are same day appts. so you have to call in early. Anyway, I am scared that it will become full blown again like it was in October--very manic. I have been educating myself on the disorder, but I feel like running away from it all. I am very strong willed, but have been through a lot with him, including alcoholism, and have had to deal with that all my life, my dad, my ex-fiance,etc.. I just want to give up sometimes. I don't know how to cope...anyone have any advice?

Jen:scrying:

We have a son whom we adopted when he was our treatment foster child. He has a variety of diagnoses and Bipolar is among them. This time of year has historically been hard for him (and many others we know). Whether it's the increase in sunshine or the warmer weather, seasonal changes can kick up mania. This was such a regular part of our lives for so long that we now refer to it as the "spring fling."

Interesting that you should mention alcoholism. Bipolars have an extremely high rate of substance abuse. The theory is that they KNOW something is wrong with them. They feel out of whack and substance abuse is an attempt to self-medicate. Something like 75% of bipolar patients have a comorbid AODA issue.

Hang in there. Find a support group that is a good fit for your personality. Indulge yourself in some TLC now and then. Acknowledge the efforts you've made on your husband's behalf and don't be too hard on yourself on the days you feel a bit impatient and overwhelmed. You're only human.

Take care.

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Thanks for your advice and your knowledge to pass on to me. I forgot about the seasonal changes, hence the word BI-polar. It makes perfect sense. During my nursing school experience, we didn't learn too much on mental illnesses, since it was a one year program for LPN's. I am going on to get my RN, and when I do clinicals in psych. I will have a better understanding of the disease, as well as more compassion for those that suffer from it. I try to educate myself as much as possible. Thanks again for responding. You are a great nurse as evidenced by your reply.:wink2:

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soulfulllady, the only person who can help you is jesus. he can wipe your tears away (the blood of jesus). he can make you whole. he can take the pains away. he can heal your husband. jesus wants you to lay down all the burdens you have carried. jesus will break every yoke and lift the heavy burdens. he will heal the hopeless heart and bless the broken. you must open your heart and allow god to work and believe that god can help you.

good luck to you.

xxx

you can't pray hard enough to cure bipolar, schizophrenia, or ocd, or did, and you certainly cannot pray-away a leaking aaa or perf'd colon.

bipolar is a serious, life-threatening (for the sufferer as well as those around them) disorder.

religion & spirituality has their place; but they are not the only answer.

if "jesus" was the answer to everything, we wouldn't need hospitals, surgery or medicine - and you would not be a nurse.

so, believe in your imaginary friend if it helps you out, but don't ever ever ever dissuade someone from necessary medical care based on your ideals.

:nono:

furthermore, to insinuate that someone is suffering from an ailment because they haven't "opened their heart to allow god to work" is making a judgement on that person's character and is implying that they are at fault for their illness.

xxxx

-k

xxxx

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not an imaginary friend. if you do not have an open mind to things that are beyond your comprehension you should not discourage others from seeking those roads

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