Mommy Issues!?!?

  1. Hi everyone

    I am new to this site, but already need advice!! My brief history is that I went to undergrad for Animal Science and graduated, then started veterinary school, basically since it was the next logical step and my mom really pushed me since I "love science and love animals". I really didn't know if I wanted to be a vet, and after a year of vet school I realized I didn't want to do that. Anyway, I dropped out of it and started to investigate nursing, and found that I really want to be a nurse!! I almost went to nursing school after high school, but went the animal route instead. So, my problem is that my mom hasn't "forgiven" me for leaving vet school. She makes little comments here and there about me going back to vet school for various reasons, like so that I can take care of her pets, and she recently stated that she had already "given up so much to help me get through school the first time" in response to me telling her I had to study and couldn't help her with something. My husband got very upset, because he feels that she should be quiet and support me, whether or not she agrees with me. I feel that way too, but what do I do? Do I sit down with her? Or do I respond with equally hurtful remarks when she says stuff? Or do I ignore it and keep on with what I want to do? This seems so trivial I'm sure, but I've always been close to my parents and it hurts me that she can't seem to let go of her dream for me. Thanks in advance for any advice....hope you guys are all doing well!!
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  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   The Bell Jar
    It is hurtful when parents are unsupportive.Sometimes its natural for us to want their acceptance and for them to be happy for us.But life does not always work out that way.I would just continue on with what you want to do,and she will eventually,sooner or later come around.Because she is your mom,and deep down she loves you.
    I had this problem once as well with a parent and it just takes time for them to get used to the idea in some cases and that everything will be "ok" in the end,and that you will successfully complete the course.
  4. by   stpauligirl
    Quote from EmN82
    Hi everyone

    I am new to this site, but already need advice!! My brief history is that I went to undergrad for Animal Science and graduated, then started veterinary school, basically since it was the next logical step and my mom really pushed me since I "love science and love animals". I really didn't know if I wanted to be a vet, and after a year of vet school I realized I didn't want to do that. Anyway, I dropped out of it and started to investigate nursing, and found that I really want to be a nurse!! I almost went to nursing school after high school, but went the animal route instead. So, my problem is that my mom hasn't "forgiven" me for leaving vet school. She makes little comments here and there about me going back to vet school for various reasons, like so that I can take care of her pets, and she recently stated that she had already "given up so much to help me get through school the first time" in response to me telling her I had to study and couldn't help her with something. My husband got very upset, because he feels that she should be quiet and support me, whether or not she agrees with me. I feel that way too, but what do I do? Do I sit down with her? Or do I respond with equally hurtful remarks when she says stuff? Or do I ignore it and keep on with what I want to do? This seems so trivial I'm sure, but I've always been close to my parents and it hurts me that she can't seem to let go of her dream for me. Thanks in advance for any advice....hope you guys are all doing well!!
    If the subject comes up don't discuss it with your mom. It's time to cut the umbilical cord, you have a husband who is supportive of you, that's all that matters and you are very lucky that he is behind you. Good luck and hang in there.
  5. by   lisabeth
    Quote from stpauligirl
    If the subject comes up don't discuss it with your mom. It's time to cut the umbilical cord, you have a husband who is supportive of you, that's all that matters and you are very lucky that he is behind you. Good luck and hang in there.
    Excellent advice. My problem was so different it wasnt funny. My mom was totally uninvolved in that perspective. I had a lot of difficulty getting over a lot of things at the other end of the spectrum. With a young child, and no help in that situation, I wasnt able to get back into college. I wont go into a lot of history, but parents do make a lot of mistakes. I pray I wont make either with my daughter. I pray I will always let her follow her dreams. Good luck, and I second the advice about not talking to your mom on that subject matter,if she cant support you in your dreams for your future.

    Good luck.

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