It's official......I'm nuts

[jewelsg627]

I can't take it. I just can't take it anymore.

I check these forums everyday hoping to find someone an alum or applicant from the SFSU Nursing program. I Google all possible phrases similar to "SFSU Nursing students" to try and find someone who is in or has graduated from the program.

I found a website from the first graduating class at the Canada program (SFSU has a satellite program that people with a BA/BS can apply to - the main campus doesn’t take 2nd bach, so this program allows people to apply and earn their BSN from SFSU though classes are held at a community college in Redwood City called Canada College) and I just find myself being INSANELY jealous of them.:angryfire

I PRAY (mind you, I’m not religious) that I get in and waiting until the last week of this month or early April is EATING AT MY SOUL.

Am I nuts? Nevermind. Don't answer that....I know the answer already, I'm just in denial. :trout:

*Sigh*

[heartrn79]

thanks for the response.. i just dont know what to do.. i applied for a nursing program but i dont know if it is the right time to go because my mind may not be where it needs to be. i try to stay busy and read as well. it sucks more because i know he left me for another girl. hey i know i know i should be strong and not think about her but arghhhh it really makes me so angry. i just wanted things to be perfect. you know nursing school, the man of my dreams, etc

[shippoRN]

thanks for the response.. i just dont know what to do.. i applied for a nursing program but i dont know if it is the right time to go because my mind may not be where it needs to be. i try to stay busy and read as well. it sucks more because i know he left me for another girl. hey i know i know i should be strong and not think about her but arghhhh it really makes me so angry. i just wanted things to be perfect. you know nursing school, the man of my dreams, etc

Same thing happened to me, and you know what, don't make him your life. Its going to take a real long time to heal and get over it, but you have to start with yourself. Don't let him deter you, you have to find the strength to fight for what you want. Think about what you want, yes i know you want him, but besides him, what do you want for yourself, how do you see yourself when you graduate and pass your boards. Mourn the loss of him, but don't loose yourself.

[heartrn79]

we were together for like 4 years! for him to do this was the worst possible thing in my mind at this point. I had no idea he had someon'e else that was getting serious. Were you with your boyfriend a long time "m"? I am sure any woman who has been in love can relate. I guess time does not matter. You are right. He is not worth me giving up my nursing career because I am sure his life will not stop for me. obviously?

anyway so is anyone interested in going even further after nursing?

[shippoRN]

we were together for like 4 years! for him to do this was the worst possible thing in my mind at this point. I had no idea he had someon'e else that was getting serious. Were you with your boyfriend a long time "m"? I am sure any woman who has been in love can relate. I guess time does not matter. You are right. He is not worth me giving up my nursing career because I am sure his life will not stop for me. obviously?

anyway so is anyone interested in going even further after nursing?

3 yrs, he even moved in with her, was living with this girl and I had no idea what was going on until she sent me a very nasty email at my job, which included among other things that he told her, i was a mistake he made when he was drunk. At that point when even thing happened i thought someone hit me in the face with a hammer.

You have to find your focus, and you have to believe that no matter what you deserve nothing but the best. I don't know what the future holds but in the end i hope to be practising, teaching and writing.

[heartrn79]

wow.. See with me him and I lived together and he had a girl he met he fell for harder than he thought, and he basically told me he was not in love with me anymore. i was torn in pieces, because i thought he was the one and could do no wrong. Turns out he was a bad seed. god forgive me, but I guess god wanted him out of my life so it happened for a reason.

i dont want to take him back, and i am trying not to listen to his story and any promises.

thanks alot! it helps to get this all off my chest because I want to live out my dreams. I dont want to be a weak chic and let a man pull me down. I am tryin man, I am really trying!!!

so what made you want to be a nurse?

[shippoRN]

oops repeat post, stupid computer!!

[shippoRN]

wow.. See with me him and I lived together and he had a girl he met he fell for harder than he thought, and he basically told me he was not in love with me anymore. i was torn in pieces, because i thought he was the one and could do no wrong. Turns out he was a bad seed. god forgive me, but I guess god wanted him out of my life so it happened for a reason.

i dont want to take him back, and i am trying not to listen to his story and any promises.

thanks alot! it helps to get this all off my chest because I want to live out my dreams. I dont want to be a weak chic and let a man pull me down. I am tryin man, I am really trying!!!

so what made you want to be a nurse?

Its going to be tough but you know what, "you don't know what you got till its gone" Aretha Franklin did a song with Lauren Hill called a rose is still a rose. This is my favorate part of it...

Let your life be in the sunshine

Not the darkness of your sorrow

You may see your all today

But new love will come tomorrow

Don't believe your life is over

Just because your man is gone

Girl, love yourself and love to love

‘Cause without him your life goes on

Without him your life goes on

Without him your life goes on

Here is another one of my favorate saying, my best friend gave me a card that said " the thing women have got to learn is nobody gives you power you just have to take it" ~ Rosanne Barr

you'll be alright girlie, don't give him any more power over you.

Me, it took me a long time to get to where I am, i was your med school hopeful who really didn't know and understand what it took to get to med school. After alot of failures and disapointments and confusions, i kind looked at what was infront of me, which was my current job, i work very closely with nurses, and spent the last 3 years observeing what they do, and getting an idea of what it was about, and the more i learned about it the more i wanted to do it, as opposed to med school and pharmacy school where i never really had exposure to the fields. Its nice to finially find what I want to do, i graduated from two different colleges both of which had excellent nursing programs, and i could spit fire :angryfire that i just let it slip through my fingers, and here i am now back to square one. I know you should never have regrets, but this is one of my biggests ones, not listening to myself, and not being more open and honest with myself, and not being more open to other careers and really exploring other avenues, but hey you live and you learn... how about you?

[heartrn79]

aww that almost brought tears down the cheeks!! lol

you seem like a caring person and i bet he knows he lost a good girl!!

me? i love nursing!! my mother is a nurse and i applied to a school in indiana but haven't heard yet and I won't know for a few months. Now I am just working in the hospital getting my feet wet. i love babies!! i want to be in a pediatrics unit.

[roxxy3773, RN, APRN]

Even though it seems you are still focused on pursuing your dream anyway, I just wanted to say make sure you stick with what you want!! Don't let him have power over you and your future. I know it is still shocking and you deserve to have time to mend, but please don't alter a course that you have dreamed about! I have been there and I figure that the more power they have at that point when they obviously don't care about us, the more weak, helpless, and pitiful they probably think we are. I just absolutely couldn't allow that! Of course there were hard days, and some days I had to pretend a bit, but my dad used to say, fake it till you make it...and I think those are wise words. With enough faking, it eventually become reality. The best feeling for me was when I was doing great things and I knew that word got back around to him that I was doing well and he didn't make such an impact in my life that it just crumbled when things ended. Don't let him have that power over you!!

Absolutely come to this forum and feel free to discuss your feelings, but please please keep pursuing your dream!

okay, now I'm done...keep up with it girl!! :) It will get better!

[shippoRN]

aww that almost brought tears down the cheeks!! lol

you seem like a caring person and i bet he knows he lost a good girl!!

me? i love nursing!! my mother is a nurse and i applied to a school in indiana but haven't heard yet and I won't know for a few months. Now I am just working in the hospital getting my feet wet. i love babies!! i want to be in a pediatrics unit.

well girl, go for it, nothing stopping you, its going to be tough, but keep your eyes on the prize, and when things start creeping into your head, just try to push it aside, take a deep cleansing breath, and keep it moving. you'll be just fine.

I applied to one nursing program in NY the only one that i truely liked and what i thought was or is a good match for me, i have to get an interview, so still waiting for that phone call and hopeing and praying I get one.

you can always come to allnurses and find someone who's willing to lend you a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. im not sure if your PM is activated yet, but feel free to PM me when ever you like, or just post something to find me, im always hanging out here.

[heartrn79]

thanks girl! Sometimes just venting helps. Men are headaches, I am better off single. (I think!) :-)[EVIL][/EVIL]

I have a gutt feeling things will work out for you though. I think good things actually do happen for good people!!

[heartrn79]

by the way can someone recommend any good online studyguides?