Lost two kids yesterday - page 2

One was a 3 year old who had a severe anaphylactic reaction at an outpatient office. He arrested and at the ER they were able to get a rhythm, but by then there was no brain function. The declared... Read More

  1. by   nursel56
    I always found it really hard to lose kids that practically lived at the hospital and who's families never (or rarely) visited them. You can't help but to bond with them (as well as the other way around). The first one - those parents - how devastating. My heart goes out to them.
  2. by   NicuGal
    I'm so sorry to hear about your kiddos Our jobs are very rewarding some days and just down right awful others Take some time for YOU!
  3. by   VickyRN
    (((hugs)))) to you, Ashley. So sorry you had such an emotionally draining and horribly stressful day. Words just don't suffice. Thank you for your caring and compassion and for all you do for the children under your care. :heartbeat
  4. by   cclear2020
    This seems like one of the worst days possible in nursing, and though I can't imagine your pain, I give you props from moving forward and doing one of the best things you can do, talk about it with your peers. Your peers, both local and online, have either gone through that, or can relate to the environment that only other nurses truly know about. Sharing to your significant other is also important, without feeling like you are burdening them or that they don't understand, they still love you, and need to know what you are going through on a daily basis. Keep talking about it, and be open to talking to your hospital's Employee Assistance Person/program (EAP) if they have it, this person is usually a licensed mental health pro, that has training in PTSD, debriefings after watching a traumatic event, or just a trained ear to listen to you process your feelings. Kudos to you!
  5. by   umcRN

    I had a primary baby when I worked in the NICU. I took care of her for 5 months, every shift. I saw her go from being admitted on her deathbed to getting well enough to talk about going home. Then she started having little signs that something wasn't right. By the time I got the doctors to actually listen to and validate my concerns she was being intubated and started on iNO for severe pulmonary hypertension. She was coded for hours over the course of 4 days, couldn't even change a diaper on her...kept code drugs in my pocket throughout those shifts. Finally her parents (her's were the wonderful kind who never left her bedside) told us to stop. I no longer work in the NICU, I am in the peds CICU now but I will probably never take on a primary patient again, it's hard enough when you've cared for them a dozen times and they die. Our jobs have a lot of good in them, but when it rains, it pours.
  6. by   Merlyn
    First, (((Ashley))). You did your best to keep the children here. But they wanted to go to another place. You will able to see them in their new home. On a clear night just look for the second star to the right and straight on to morning. They will be there, smiling down at you. Peace be with you , Sweet Soul.
  7. by   mellyreid
    I still remember the 1st patient I ever lost. She had a real special place in my heart. She suffered from liver failure and the toxins continued to build in her body. When it was time for her to go I was glad to be with her and family. They had signed the DNR papers just before I came on that night. Needless to say, it was a very hard experience and the moment I walked to my car, the tears came flooding out.

    I am sorry for your experience. Our jobs can be very painful as we have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of our patients and their families. Thanks for doing the job not many can!
  8. by   ilovecoffee
    I'm sorry for your loss. I'm having a rough week over here in peds CVICU myself. Keep up the good work.
  9. by   rnsrgr8t
    Oh Ashley, <BIG Hug>.... SO hard to be a peds nurse at times isn't it? I lasted in acute care (hem/onc and BMT) for 1 1/2 years and had to leave b/c having kids die so often was SO hard. God bless you for your work in the PICU... I could not do it. Take care of yourself, allow yourself time to grieve/cry as you need it. If you need a pajama day...do it. Treat yourself to a mani/pedi. TALK with your coworkers and share the grief...do not keep it all inside. On my old unit, if when we had a bad run and lost a couple of kids in a row, our Chaplain would come in and do a debriefing with all of us... may not be a bad idea for you and your coworkers. The child with the anaphylaxis...what a tragedy! Hang in there!!! You will have your miracle child that should not be alive soon and will make it all worth it!
  10. by   PedsBSNRN
    Hey, I know you're probably regretting even posting that in the first place (I know I would) ;-). I remember starting in CVICU and having a heart transplant teenager the whole unit knew bc of how long he'd been in and out of there. I had him on an LVAD and had him post transplant. I was unable to keep up with the pace on CVICU d/t some family stuff and went to another unit. A few months later I saw his dad on the elevator and he told me&nbsp;he was dying of fungal sepsis and they were withdrawing care. I remember being so ANGRY that we'd all worked so hard, and all that hard work and all those parents sleepless nights&nbsp;was for nothing. But for those parents, and/ or&nbsp;for our God, we are there guardian angels, and I think a lot of people cope with that by refusing to bond with them, but I don't think that's right. I'm so glad you got to rock those babies, and that you fought for those kids til the end. You did a great job for them, and when you clock out, you can do a great job for their memory, by taking care of you. <br>It definitely sounded like you had a sucky day. I'm sorry. I do empathsize w you. <br>Working in the place I do now, we have a lot fo children that are slowly dying, and I can honestly say, I feel like I know now that I am taking care of God's child, God is with me during it. <br>&nbsp;I know that some nurses don't deal w things well I pray they will not be your example. Even if it seems lame, talk to the chaplin, ask for a debriefing, find a mentor you can vent to, take the dogs somewhere to watch them run. Have a spa day (however you can afford). <br>I am hoping to start back in the PICU world very soon. I know I will have these issues again, I will be writing. ;-)
  11. by   serenidad2004
    This is why I work with the geriatric population.... they are where my heart is. Dont get me wrong still devastating when they pass... but at least they lived their life and for the most part are ready to go. Kids havent i dont think i could go to work and do what you guys do everyday... id be a mess.
    There is a niche in nursing for all of us and god bless those of you that can care of some of gods most precious gifts