Pseudo Munchausen parents...

Specialties Pediatric

Published

Anybody have a patient's parent that seems to be living off the attention they get from having a sick child? Not a Munchausen by Proxy parent that actually hurts their child so that they can get attention for having a sick child. But that has a chronic kid and just loves the attention that they (the parent) gets for having a sick child?

I've had a few of these lately, and they are just so draining on me mentally. I get family-centered care, but that should still be the family centered around the PATIENT, and these parents want it centered around the parent instead.

I'm drained and would love to hear if anyone has tips on dealing with these kind of parents or anyone that can at least commiserate with the annoyance that is dealing with a family where the parent has a bigger need for attention to them than need for getting their child attention.

Specializes in NICU, PICU, PCVICU and peds oncology.
I see it most often in my parents of my chronic children. I have several I feel like enjoy being at the hospital more than at home, and will take photos and post on facebook blow by blow details of their hospital stay as if they were on vacation. Odd bunch, these munchy parents.

Oh yeah... I've seen a few of these too. Very much attention-seeking behaviour... when they make the FB page publicly accessible and invite people to join. It's usually the mother doing this kind of thing, at least as I've perceived. And those mothers are always impeccably dressed and made up, not a hair out of place. Then there are the ones who disagree with medical advice and take to the Web looking for support... just wonderful.

As a home health nurse my case is a 5 year old that has "seizures", when she stiffens her hands, opens her mouth wide and says...no really...says "seizure!" And the mom coaches me to make sure I document it bc if I don't her case will be closed. The mother exaggerates all of her symptoms and has fired 10+ nurses. An MR I revealed no seizures or reason to suspect seizures and the mother threatens to take the child for blood work if she doesn't behave. Well when Mom is around the child is a maniac, cries, runs and bites herself. She won't eat or drink and when mom leaves the child is complete opposite. After I calm her down she behaves, eats, is a normal child. On top of it the mother treats me like the nanny...I am to run after the child put her in and out of the car seat take her to the bathroom. Please...This is not what I went to nursing school for, to be treated like the help. I'm actively seeking other employment but for now I am working the case bc I have to feed my family. I think mom has munchausen by proxy...please, can anyone offer any advice. Should I report her bc other nurses have and nothing has been done. I'm afraid of losing my cool, my mind and my license

Specializes in NICU, PICU, PCVICU and peds oncology.

MRI can't confirm or rule out seizures. But it can provide secondary gain to a "Munchy" mom. We've had several kids with normal MRIs who have very definite EEG-demonstrable seizures. By age 5 I would expect an otherwise developmentally normal child with certain types of seizures to feel them coming on, so your description of this child's behaviour isn't complete proof that she doesn't in fact have seizures. You don't mention what medications she's on to treat her seizures or anything about EEGs. There should be documentation in this child's HH chart regarding test results, drug regimens and other factors. That's where you should start. You should also ask your agency to provide you with a list of your roles and responsibilities regarding this patient. If there's anything on the list that shouldn't be there, ask your manager why a REGISTERED NURSE is required to do these things. Once you have that, you can then say to the mother that your job is to do A, B and C. Anything else is on her.

Specializes in Pedi.
As a home health nurse my case is a 5 year old that has "seizures", when she stiffens her hands, opens her mouth wide and says...no really...says "seizure!" And the mom coaches me to make sure I document it bc if I don't her case will be closed. The mother exaggerates all of her symptoms and has fired 10+ nurses. An MR I revealed no seizures or reason to suspect seizures and the mother threatens to take the child for blood work if she doesn't behave. Well when Mom is around the child is a maniac, cries, runs and bites herself. She won't eat or drink and when mom leaves the child is complete opposite. After I calm her down she behaves, eats, is a normal child. On top of it the mother treats me like the nanny...I am to run after the child put her in and out of the car seat take her to the bathroom. Please...This is not what I went to nursing school for, to be treated like the help. I'm actively seeking other employment but for now I am working the case bc I have to feed my family. I think mom has munchausen by proxy...please, can anyone offer any advice. Should I report her bc other nurses have and nothing has been done. I'm afraid of losing my cool, my mind and my license

MRI cannot confirm or deny seizure activity. There are plenty of people with epilepsy who have normal MRIs. As Jan said, a 5 year old with seizures may very well know her aura so her ability to state that she is having a seizure doesn't mean what you think it does. I've worked with kids with seizures for 10 years and had daily seizures myself prior to having my brain tumor resected. I always knew they were coming. And I've had very young kids be able to state with 100% accuracy when they knew one was coming.

Thank you for great advice. She takes Risperdal, anti psychotic and prn klonipin at hs. She has had an EGG which shows spikes as she sleeps. I didn't mean to sound insensitive but my gut tells me what she is displaying is behavioral, the mother says her PRO says it is behavioral. It's very confusing and the agency doesn't offer much insight or training and I'm a new grad.

I understand and I don't have any experience so any info you provide is well appreciated. I'm glad that you are doing better. I only want what is best for the family and I'm clueless. Thanks again.

I saw this all of the time when I worked in an outpt Peds office. Many of these parents were bored stay at home parents. The kids were F-I-N-E, but yet we saw they every week for these random symptoms. We had to refer them to lists of specialists to treat non sense problems. It's sad as this does cause many of the children to grow up overly anxious as well.

I agree, it seems more harmful than helpful.

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