Had a mom flip out on me today...

  1. So today I had a mom who was a nervous wreck, kid was fine, just needed a little labwork. Mom refuses papoose, the kid flips out during the stick, mom loses it and allows kiddo to swing arms. Kids actually ok but would cry when mom would start her "Oh my God's." This whole incident lasted probably 3 minutes. Mom told me this was the worst experience in her whole life and insinuated it was all my fault. I was tempted to question her further but she was so irrational I just left it alone. Now I wish I hadn't. I've never had a problem with a parent. Sure they get pissed and yell sometimes but I always give them a minute to chill and gently approach them to resolve the issue. I don't understand why some people come looking to us for help only to want to abuse the people that are trying to help them.
    •  
  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   DDRN4me
    sounds like mom is afraid herself and projecting her fear... leave it alone it is not worth getting all upset about ... you were doing your job!!
  4. by   BSNtobe2009
    I just wonder...what is wrong with some people? Yeah, it's hard when your kid has to be poked or prodded or stuck, but it's teaching the child nothing but fear to see a PARENT flip out like that.

    Mom needs to learn to suck it up, and be the focus of support for that child. Children are more scared when they see their parents scared.

    I feel sorry for that kid.
  5. by   sirI
    Mom needs to learn to suck it up, and be the focus of support for that child.
    Ouch......
  6. by   BSNtobe2009
    Quote from siri
    Ouch......
    Ok, yup, that was a little harsh...slap on the hand for me.

    I watched a show with the famed Dr. Harry T. Brazzleton, Child Psychologist. I have seen him demonstrate with video how when a child is confronted with a stimuli they are not sure about, the first person they look at is their mother...to see what HER REACTION is...if the child sees the mother freaked out, that has a direct impact on how the child will react.

    Being a mom isn't easy...but I think we have a great influence on how visits to a hospital or a doctor's office are perceived by our children.

    Fear is taught.
  7. by   ItsyBitsySpider
    Yeah, I felt sorry for him too. He was looking at her during the procedure, like most little ones do, and feeding off of her. I don't think it's being too harsh. I totally understand being anxious, upset, angry, and sad that your child needs to be in the hospital and getting poked and prodded, but it is truely in the best interest of the child to stay as calm as possible during procedures. Thanks for understanding y'all.
  8. by   texas_lvn
    And then the mom always has to say "you only get one stick with my child". Yeah, um say that after the stick please.
  9. by   TrudyRN
    Quote from siri
    Ouch......
    ITA. It is very, very painful to see our children have to suffer, even if it's just a blood draw or a shot. Some parents just don't have what it takes to be the best role model for the child. The parents need support, as they can't support their kids. Time was when parents were exiled to the waiting room during any procedures on their child - sticks, draws, stitches. Visiting was severely restricted, no overnights. It was absolutely horrible. But now parents are expected to be bastions of strength and some just are not.

    :uhoh21:
  10. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    So many people who are really not cut out to be parents have kids. I mean, if a mother totally freaks out over her kid getting a shot, how is she going to be there for her child if something serious ever happens to him?
  11. by   elthia
    Quote from BSNtobe2009
    I just wonder...what is wrong with some people? Yeah, it's hard when your kid has to be poked or prodded or stuck, but it's teaching the child nothing but fear to see a PARENT flip out like that.

    Mom needs to learn to suck it up, and be the focus of support for that child. Children are more scared when they see their parents scared.

    I feel sorry for that kid.
    Spoken a little harshly, but at this moment I tend to agree.
    I've taken care of too many kids this past month who are post op from PREVENTABLE conditions because the kid didn't want to take his/her meds and treatments and the parents would rather be a friend to the child than a parent and say "I'm sorry this hurts or tastes nasty but it's for your own good". Now one kid is facing amputation of her leg, and another's crohn's has flared so bad she's on TPN/lipids, and I don't even like to think of the CF kid (Yes, I know CF is not preventable, and flares and infections and bowel obstructions happen even with good management, just think of that and then think of a kid who hasn't been made to take his meds in weeks because "it tastes terrible") All 3 might have had complications, but when it's well documented in the chart including direct quotes from the parents about the parents allowing the child to be noncompliant...it's enough to make you want to shake mom/dad by the shoulders and say "hello, you're the parent, sometimes you can't give your kid options, you give them an ultimatum". Yes, it hurts terribly to see your child cry and say they hate you; yes it sucks to have to argue with your child, but it's part of being a parent. There are wonderful rewards involved with being a parent, but there are also responsibilities.
    Last edit by elthia on Dec 4, '06
  12. by   ElvishDNP
    OB/Gyn/Nursery lurker here....I used to work in a Community Health Center where we did a lot of peds, well child, shots, sick visits, you name it, so peds still fascinates me.

    I remember when I took my son for his 2 month shots to the place...I voluntarily left the room because I couldn't handle seeing him be stuck. (I have been in the room with him every time since then, shots or no.) Hearing him cry made me cry and also made my milk let down. So he's crying, I'm crying, milk is all over the front of my shirt (even with jumbo nursing pads), and it wasn't pretty. But he lived and so did I.

    But I also remember being seriously p****d when I would hear parents say "he doesn't want his medicine" so he only got a couple doses of abx or whatever and now his strep is systemic...I agree with the poster who said that that is part of being a parent. I don't like seeing my child uncomfortable or in pain from being stuck or fussing bc he doesn't want his meds, but it by far beats the alternative.
  13. by   candicane
    I feel the same, it always upsets me when we get a kid in with resp distress, known asthma and the parents come in reeking of cigarette smoke and can't fiqure out why their child can't breathe (huge pet peeve!!)

    Also this thread reminds me of the pt I think 12 came in with spontanous pneumothorax, chest tube put in in ER, dr did consious sedation because of age, as the pt starts becoming more alert says to mom "did it hurt, cause I thought it would hurt, but I think maybe it was a dream and it didn't really hurt" mom replies "oh yes honey it hurt really bad" and just kept egging it on. We had a heck of a time with the pt, turns out couldn't tolerate half the meds we tried for pain and everytime we would try something new mom would start asking are you ok honey, are you breathing ok, is your throat closing up (nothing caused any resp problems, all reactions were vomiting or hives)
    I know mom was worried and scared but I think the kid would have done better if mom would have calmed down (dr offered us prn ativan for mom!!)

    Maybe we need rule for parents if your child is sick...
    1. If you bring your child for medical attention, do not freak out when we try to give it to them!
  14. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from ItsyBitsySpider
    I don't understand why some people come looking to us for help only to want to abuse the people that are trying to help them.
    It helps to remember that watching a child cry out in pain is not something that mothers ever really get used to, nor would it be desirable for a parent to enjoy watching.

    Anticipating that your child will have pain is just as painful for the parent as it is for the child.

    Different cultures have different responses.

    A friend of mine is a new mother and also is a healthcare worker, and called me in tears because her newborn had to have not one, but two, heelsticks for bilirubin. She also described it as "the worst experience of my life."

    She said that the caregivers were wonderful, but that she couldn't bear to see her new babe in pain.

    I know you do this on a daily basis (and god love you for it, I couldn't!) but next time, it might help to relax the child indirectly by helping the mother calm down first.

close