Folks in the OR tend to have strong personalities. Think about- most people go into health care to help people. Yes, we do that in the OR, but think about how we do it. We literally tear their bodies apart, be it removing part of the colon, or intentionally dislocating a hip to replace it. Not everyone can handle it, and some people cope with it in not so good ways. It's true that you (general you, not necessarily you specifically) really do need to grow thicker skin to deal with that and the strong personalities. However, it sounds like you are in a bit more of a toxic environment than most.
In regards to the counts, what is the facility policy? Our policy is that everything must be counted at the beginning of the case if there is a potential that we could open a body cavity (lap chole that could go open, VATS that could turn into a thoracotomy, etc); however, at the end if we didn't open we only need to count sponges, sharps, and any other little thing that had the potential to get left behind. Students also aren't allowed to count; only an RN may count with the scrub person (or if the scrub person is an RN, she/he may count with an ST, just so long as one of the people counting is an RN).
It's also true that having a student isn't easy. There is no compensation for doing so in most places, and it does, contrary to many students' beliefs, cause more work for the nurse because they are still responsible for the patient. Many places don't ask the nurses if they want a student- they just come to work and find out they have one. Some nurses may get students so frequently because they're good at precepting that they burn out from it. Some nurses may still be so new to the environment that they may not be ready or able to have students. Then there are just crappy people who should be kept far far away from students. The same thing will be found in all walks of life, not just nursing. It's all part of the cycle of life really not being fair to everyone.