Would you rather have a child said to be SS or abort?

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

This is a question one of my patients had asked me.Very difficult one. She had gone to a genetic counsellor as her doctor ordered but feels she doesn't want to keep the baby because of associated risks. She also tells me she feels so bad aborting the little thing in her. she kind of have a mixed feling since everyone now knows she is almost 5 months pregnant. I just empathized with her but remained silent throughout. Anyone?

I think she should have the baby and put the baby up for adoption if she doesn't want to deal with issues. She should see how her baby looks in her womb at 5 months. 93% of women regret having an abortion no matter what their reason was. I deal with women all the time that have serious relationship issues, physical problems, and emtional problems trying to deal with their "loss." Abortion isn't a solution, but an addition of many future problems.

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I think she should have the baby and put the baby up for adoption if she doesn't want to deal with issues. She should see how her baby looks in her womb at 5 months. 93% of women regret having an abortion no matter what their reason was. I deal with women all the time that have serious relationship issues, physical problems, and emtional problems trying to deal with their "loss." Abortion isn't a solution, but an addition of many future problems.

Gee. The only thing I felt was relief.

I'd love to know where your figures come from. Certainly, this belies them.

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Suesquatch, this is just some of the links where I "get my information from." Not to mention the women that belong to groups such as "Silent No More",the thousands that get help from counselors from the "pro-life" side of things, and the women I have helped. Just because a women has an abortion, doesn't mean she isn't or wasn't a mother. She was a mother, only now her baby isn't alive.

http://www.unfairchoice.info/intro.htm

http://www.gargaro.com/choicetolife.html

If you want more I can supply it. I am out to help women, not give them a temporary fix that ends a life and will enevitably hurt her.(In most cases). I was for pro-choice now I am pro-women.

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pearl, your sources are purely anecdotal, not scientific. Further, http://www.catholicsocialscientists.org/ is scarcely unbiased.

You are welcome to your own opinions, but not your own facts.

I'm out of this, though, or this will devolve into a discussion about abortion rights, not the specific situation in question here.

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Specializes in geriatrics,med/surg,vents.

I could be wrong but if her and her husband both carry the gene then there probably are relatives on both sides who have sickle cell,right?So has she talked to them about what its llike living with this ?What does the father think?Have they discussed all the options?

I see I have no answers just more questions

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Suesquatch-

Your site is hardly unbiased. Besides it isn't my opinion, but fact. I have many other sources, such as the group "Silent No More" made of of many women that greatly regret their abortions. If you read all the material on the sites you would see that it isn't bias. The one site has women that were once pro-choice and why they became pro-life.

You think that because your opion is scientific rather than based on a Higher Power(G-D) that it is fact. Trust me it isn't.

In history Native Americans were considered less than human, then African Americans, then us Jewish people by the Nazis. Now it is the unborn human baby.

I believe in science and the creator of it(G-d). I believe that taking a human life simply because the child may be handicap in some way or is inconvenient is wrong. This is just my opinion. This poor woman should be give help and her baby as well. She is 5 months pregnant for Pete's sake. Do you know the stage of developement that baby is in? Do you know what an aborted baby looks like at that stage? Do you know what that baby would go through? What that mother would go through afterwards?

Why don't you see the movie "a Silent Scream" and see the video about Sarah Smith, a survivor of an abortion. Read her testimony.

http://www.prolife.com/SARAH2.html

I have talked with countless women and conforted them regarding their abortions. It is great that you felt relieved, but you are in the minority. Believe me.

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Bottom line...It's the patient's decision. She needs to own it and analyze the information herself. As long as she has gotten an explanation in terms she understands, this is almost completely up to her. I say almost, because depending on gestation, some providers would not feel it is ethical to terminate the pg due to her particular situation. I am sure she can find a provider willing to do the ab if she wants it done.

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Specializes in High Risk In Patient OB/GYN.

Pearl, do you realize the irony in posting a link that is clearly from a PROLIFE site?:uhoh3:

I think a lot of the guilt felt by women who have abortions is caused by these types of messages--they are made to feel like guilt and regret is expected of them. They're told what a mistake they're making, harassed and often lied to at abortion provider's offices, and bombarded by comments from society. They're made to feel like they should feel bad, and that there must be something wrong with them if they don't, which is not the case.

Suesquatch, I too, felt relief. There was some regret-but that was mostly that I had gotten pregnant to begin with, and that I wasn't in the place I wanted to be in life, not that I had terminated my pregnancy.

How mnay studies were done on the emotional effects on the birth mother on surrendering her baby for adoption? Not to mention, a sick black baby isn't really high on the "desired" baby list for prospective adoptive parents. Statistically, that baby has a very high chance of spending most of its life in foster care or modern day orphanages. I'm not saying she shouldn't consider this option, but lets focus on the reality of the situation.

No one here knows what the full situation is. Maybe the testing showed that the Sickle Cell had already caused damage to the fetus (and it can cause hypoxia to a developing fetus)? Maybe there is some co-morbidity that was not mentioned. We don't know.

But you know what? We can't suggest to this woman anything, because as a nurse, it is not our place. Our place is to provide unbiased facts, present all available options and let her chose what is best for her and her family.

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Specializes in ER/Ortho.

Its a hard call, and she should do whats in her heart. There are a lot of times that these tests are correct, and there is something wrong with the baby. They say god gives special babies to special people. She just needs to make the choice she can most live with. I can see how she might feel guilt for aborting, or could also feel guilt for bringing a child with medical problems into the world. Help your friend talk through how she feels so she can make the best choice for HER.

I must also tell you that sometimes the tests are wrong. I have a wonderful, healthy 11 year old named Zachary who is the light of my life. When I was pregnant with him the doctor thought he had some problems, and would be born with downs, or possibly retarded, and he encouraged me to abort, but I just felt in my heart I couldn't do that to Zach (who I had already named a month earlier). At any rate, when I was eight months he told me that for some reason I couldn't carry Zach to term because he would die if I did so, and he would be taking him the next week. Then a few days later he said I was too small, and therefor Zach was too small, and would have problems if delivered, but he had no choice. I had a sono which made us all feel better because it showed Zach weighed right at 5 pounds. The very next day I delievered Zachary Levi who weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces, and scored a 10 on the APGAR scale. You can't tell me he gained 3 pounds and 6 ounces in 12 hours. Zachary does NOT have downs, and he is NOT retarded. As a matter of he is perfectly healthy, smart (a little too smart sometimes), and very happy. I can't imagine a my life without him in it. If I had listened to the doctor I would have a sad story to tell about the the baby I had to abort because of medical problems, but instead I have a miricle.

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Specializes in Range of paediatric specialties.

My friend had an abortion at 18 weeks last year. Her baby was wanted but not at any cost . She had trisomy 13 on amniocentesis, was very small and had a major cardiac defect. The syndrome is generally incompatible with life . I would have supported my friend whatever choice she made because there is no perfect solution. I have nursed families torn apart by the pain and suffering of their little ones, who have lived for weeks or years with syndromes. They have not been able to live with out intrusive unnatural medical science , I have nursed mothers who have suffered major depression nursing children like this for the first few months of their lives. I have also known those who have felt that the experience strengthened them.

We as nurses should never judge but be there for those we care for . My friend had wonderful nurses there for her when she gave birth to her aborted baby. I helped by being a support person for the childs death and delivery and helped by making suggestions for her funeral. I always refer to my friends dead baby by name. Although they grieved at the loss I know this friend and her other children would have suffered more through nursing a dying infant. My friend faints at the sight of blood and hates hospitals and medicines . It would have torn her apart and I think for her she made the right decision and that is all that matters.

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Specializes in Education, Administration, Magnet.

I would absolutely have the child. I think that God would give me only what I could handle.

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My friend had an abortion at 18 weeks last year. Her baby was wanted but not at any cost . She had trisomy 13 on amniocentesis, was very small and had a major cardiac defect. The syndrome is generally incompatible with life . I would have supported my friend whatever choice she made because there is no perfect solution. I have nursed families torn apart by the pain and suffering of their little ones, who have lived for weeks or years with syndromes. They have not been able to live with out intrusive unnatural medical science , I have nursed mothers who have suffered major depression nursing children like this for the first few months of their lives. I have also known those who have felt that the experience strengthened them.

We as nurses should never judge but be there for those we care for . My friend had wonderful nurses there for her when she gave birth to her aborted baby. I helped by being a support person for the childs death and delivery and helped by making suggestions for her funeral. I always refer to my friends dead baby by name. Although they grieved at the loss I know this friend and her other children would have suffered more through nursing a dying infant. My friend faints at the sight of blood and hates hospitals and medicines . It would have torn her apart and I think for her she made the right decision and that is all that matters.

I know a young couple with the same situation who decided not to abort and gave birth to a child who had no chance at life, they held her as she died. It was very hard but the right thing for them.

Comparing birth defects incompatible with life is not the same as sickle cell anemia.

I personally know many women who have had abortions who regretted it and to say it is only because of the guilt heaped upon them by others is a stereotype too. Each side needs to be careful of perpetuating stereotypes.

steph

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