I have a stupid question

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

I'm leaning towards oncology as a specialization, but I have also thought of ob/gyn and L&D. My stupid question is: Do you have to have had children to be a L&D nurse? Would it be preferred if you had had kids of your own? Are you not taken as seriously...or are you even considered....if you HAVEN'T had children?:confused:

Let me add here that as a student I do not have any kids and am concerned about being seen as 'competent,' since I have not experienced childbirth myself. I don't know if it would matter to a patient if you were 'experienced' or if you were just well-trained but knew nothing personally/could not relate to the experience of childbirth.

Logically I can see that male ob/gyns have not 'experienced' childbirth yet they know what they are doing. But I don't know if nurses are treated/seen differently or not...'female nurturing' and all that. I can also see that, for example, you do not have to have been in a car accident yourself to be able to treat someone. But there's just something about L&D....

Please indulge me, thank you.

Originally posted by BBnurse34

Gee, I dunno....do you have to have cancer to be an oncology nurse?

Darn it Shay, you beat me to it...I was so jazzed about saying that...

If both of you noticed in my first post, I made reference to males who work in OB/Gyn who obviously have not experienced childbirth, as well as the example of someone not having had to be injured in a car accident to treat someone who has.

I was asking an honest question from a student's perspective, and I thought I was asking in a courteous manner. Thanks to those of you who do not feel the urge to be rude or sarcastic when I am asking an honest question. If it's a sore spot for you, then I would appreciate it if you do not take it out on me, please. I did not sign up to be a walking bullseye for someone else's entertainment or fulfillment. I am just trying to learn.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I do not think they meant that as a Jab at YOU, Figaro's mom. I think that comes from many patients themselves asking :

"have you had a baby yourself?" Nurse: "no, but I am going to give you good care in your labor". Pt: "how can you give me good care when you don't know what I am going through???!!".

Exchanges like this happen in obstetric nursing all the time. It is SO common for patients and other OB nurses, even, to believe NO way can a person make a good OB nurse unless she has been through labor HERSELF. It is unfair and unwarranted. That is why shay brought up the oncology, burn and other areas of nursing. It is rather an expression of frustration that other fields are perceived differently...e.g. you have to be a MOM to be a good OB nurse, but not a burn victim to provide excellent burn nursing skills. No one meant to hurt or offend you! Hope this helps! (correct me if i am wrong, shay, in saying this).

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Hi there,

I have two girlfriends that are L&D nurses. They do'nt have children. I don't think it matters. Good Luck

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Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes

I do not think they meant that as a Jab at YOU, Figaro's mom. I think that comes from many patients themselves asking :

"have you had a baby yourself?" Nurse: "no, but I am going to give you good care in your labor". Pt: "how can you give me good care when you don't know what I am going through???!!".

Exchanges like this happen in obstetric nursing all the time. It is SO common for patients and other OB nurses, even, to believe NO way can a person make a good OB nurse unless she has been through labor HERSELF. It is unfair and unwarranted. That is why shay brought up the oncology, burn and other areas of nursing. It is rather an expression of frustration that other fields are perceived differently...e.g. you have to be a MOM to be a good OB nurse, but not a burn victim to provide excellent burn nursing skills. No one meant to hurt or offend you! Hope this helps! (correct me if i am wrong, shay, in saying this).

That's exactly what I was afraid of, and EXACTLY why I was asking, because I do not have children myself (and at 34, I am not getting any younger. Even if I went through adoption I still will not have had the 'experience.'). To go in the direction of OB without children and then have to go through that frustration on a regular basis gives me reason to pause. I agree a hundred and ten percent, it IS unfair and unwarranted. I was wondering if it was the norm. I think I have my question answered now; thanks Debbie and everyone else for your responses. God knows it was not my intention to light a fuse. :stone

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Figaro's mom, quotes from my post:

**disclaimer: sore subject for poster**

No nastiness intended toward you figaro's....just a very sore subject.

Okay? For someone (me) who for the last few weeks has been going to doctor upon doctor to find out if it's even a medical POSSIBILITY for me to have children (no, I will not elaborate on the problem), this just came at me like sandpaper to an open wound.

You didn't stir things up. Just a sore subject for me, that's all. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings, which is why I stated the above in my post prior to going off on my rant.

'kay? :kiss

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figaro just be confident in your self if this is area you want then do it. just be sure you do it for the right reasons. you need caring and compassion and dont forget thick skin and patience to be a good L&D nurse. I rarely hear any comment about not knowing what birth is like and if i hear it that myth is quickly dispelled once they experience the care that i give, good look.

Shay, sorry to hear of your diffuculty. good luck i will keep you in my prayers.:)

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Figaro, even if you went through an adoption, the child would still be yours. When a patient would ask, "Do you have children?" You would just answer a simple "yes."

I have three kids and have had a late miscarriage. I have been pg three times. I have had awide variety of pregnancy and labor symptoms, but that does not make me a better nurse than someone who has not experienced these things. I'm just better because...well, I just am!:chuckle

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Originally posted by mark_LD_RN

Shay, sorry to hear of your diffuculty. good luck i will keep you in my prayers.:)

Ty Mark.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

((((shay))))

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Ditto on that shay! I think you'd be a great mom. You're such a smart a$$ that you remind me of my own much loved mom!:)

I am another L&D nurse with no kids. At times I am tempted to lie and say I have them, but it isn't a huge issue in L&D. If patients get a little too hung up on it, I just point out that their male OB/GYN doesn't have kids either and they usually relax.

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I definatly don't think it makes you better nurse to *know* what a patient is going through. I can't speak as a nurse, as I'm still in school, but I'm a mom of 2, so I have thought about this before.

For example, I had a nurse come in after I had *just* finished pumping 6 ounces of breast milk for my daughter, took one look at the milk, and dumped it down the drain, saying it had "spoiled". :angryfire Having experience with breastfeeding and such OR having more education on the subject could have prevented this mistake.

I think you definatly get a greater appreciation of labor and delivery after having been through it yourself, but I would think you could build on your skill level and become more understanding of the process just by spending more time with patients and understanding their emotions, not just the physical stuff. IMO, as long as you can be sensitive to your patients' ideas and feelings, having been through it or not shouldn't matter.

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