Hysterical phone calls about people in labor!

Specialties Ob/Gyn

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in all fairness, i almost entitled this " hysterical daddies", but realized that, though that is largely the scope of hysterical phone calls regarding people in labor in my experience, it doesn't , in all fairness apply to everyone or to all patients. that said, i just felt i had to share....other night ( and by the way, this is my fifth night in a row, one off and 4 on, so i am a little loopy and confused.:) ), i am at work and we have just ( thank goodness) transferred out 39 week twin multip mom with ruptured membranes. received another pt at the same time and couldn't find a doc. also had one nurse on call who was at home at the time..get through that mess, even calling the er to alert them to the fact that this was going to happen so they wouldn't be even more shell shocked than they were bound to be. doc located, twin family to specialty institution , call nurse in and some calm, until i answer the phone. hysterical dad on the other end insisting wife in labor . calm down i gently try to say. what???? she is in pain! ( i can hear her screaming). how far away i ask ( half an hour). has her water broken? how the hell should i know is the screamed reply. you know how it goes, sometimes it isn't as terrible as it sounds...what baby is this i continue. 6th! ok, now it is beginning to sound as bad as it sounds...i meekly ask, does she feel like pushing ( muffled sounds as he asks her) yes yes yes, i hear her scream. i sigh, then offer that they should put the phone down , and call the ambulance. he tells me he doesn't think so. she is more comfortable coming to us. i tell him even if they chose not to call an ambulance, they should go to a hospital which i know is only 5 minutes away. he tells me they will be coming to our facility and hangs up....i cannot believe it. i again call the overstressed er ( sorry cathy and all you er folk, you know how you hate maternity patients :) )...anyway, i also had the presence of mind to call admitting to generate some paper work because you just know they aren't stopping there.......set a table, get everyone mobilized and.....no patient. about 15 minutes later i get a call from the mother of the patient, who called her from somewhere on the highway where she was stuck with worsening contractions behind,of all things, an overturned truck. her question to me "what are you going to do about it?" i can hardly believe it and instruct her to call her daughter back and tell her to call 911 or have the hubby get out and grab ( well, not literally) a police person.....she says she isn't sure she can remember the cell phone number. i tell her i know that i don't know it....

finally the screaming mother and father to be arrive with the nervous state police and are rapidly assessed, settled and found to be, you guessed it, 4/c/0 and intact.....for goodness freaking sakes........and that was just part of my night....never boring in delivery for sure........just felt like sharing. would love to hear similar stories, or stories in general....

Mark_LD_RN:

ugggghhhhh. I'm never ever going to eat again.

Thanks.

Specializes in OB.

Mark! 15 12's in a row?! You deserve a medal! I could never do that - I'd be arrested for throwing doc's and family members out of windows! (Tend to get a little psycho after the 5th one)

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

i would DIE after 15 shifts in a row, but 12's fuggedaboudit. no way.

Mark, just reading about 14 12's in a row makes me tired and crabby. I would be on top of a building with an uzi by now if I were you................................

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Mark, I have such a long commute that if I were to be as vigilant as you, they would have to find someplace for me to camp out....Yuck...And to all you sillies who were grossed out by our placenta discussion, think about what you SEE every single day! (evening, night..) I know, I know.....:)

BACK to the subject of hysterical phone calls, I , of COURSE, answer the phone and someone asks me if I have seen their girlfriend ( hug). Who is your girlfriend, I ask. Don't you the f*** know? He screams at me...Well, I calmly say ( as I have discovered that remaining calm really either disarms or irritates the yelling party), I might be able to assist if you let me know her name as, though I am a little psychic, I am just not that good. She is the blankety blank one in labor. Sir, I tell him, there are currently 4 people in labor, pick one...So he tells me someone who isn't there, even in triage or labor checked, or, as far as I know, in the ER...She told me she was in labor so you have to be wrong, he screams..( I am about ready to hang up or say something I know I shouldn't). He continues, that b*** told me she was going to the hospital 2 hours ago! You better not be keeping anything from me or I am going to show up and you will all be sorry. NOW I decide to involve security, but not before I ask him how far away her lives and maybe she went to a different hospital because she was uncomfortable..I wonder if he didn't come also because there are other kids to watch...No, he keeps yelling, this is our first ******* kid....So, and I have to ask, why didn't you go with her? I was going out with my boys....I am thinking ( and hoping), that maybe she escaped...Automatic social service consult, ya think????

Seeeeeeeeeeee........if someone starts screaming and cussing at me on the phone,

I HANG UP.

I can't believe you even spoke to that moron. :rolleyes: He wouldn't have gotten past the first cuss word with me.

Originally posted by bagladyrn

One of the few topics that will "gross out" other nurses. Funniest thing I've seen in a while - ICU and ER nurses saying "we don't want to sit with you OB nurses" just because of the discussion of lochia.

I know this is off topic but this just reminded me... A bunch of us OB nurses were having a potluck going away party last weekend and as my good friend was serving me some pie (with her hands since it was spilling off the knife) she says to me, "don't worry, my fingers haven't been in any lady partss today". Then another firned insisted on smelling her fingers before she would take any pie. I guess to others this would seem strange...

:)

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Yuck! Hey Shay, I wanted to hang up but I figured if I got the info and the pt DID show up I might be able to intervene if needed..Still haven't seen her, or heard any more..He kind of took me by surprise. Don't worry, if I get that again, I WILL hang up AND have witnesses there when I do it.....These days, according to our facility, the customer is always right....Remember the good old days of limit setting????And I GET the pie thing...Lol.

Great recipies mark! but I think Have a better one

dried choped placenta. in breast milk, as cereal. it could be like shreaded wheat except instead of a frosted and unfroseted side, it would be shiny on one and dirty on the other. !

Here is my funny story.

I had a patient ask me if I could please tie her tubes for her. I took her serious and explained that her OB/GYN could do it for her in the OR. She dident like the idea of general and being cut. So she said "no I just want you to reach up there and tie them in a knot!" She insisted that this could be done and that her friends husbad had done it for her a few years ago "but they came untied and thats why I got pregnent". No matter how I tried she wouldent belive me.

We all had a good luagh about that one. I cant help but wonder how many women that guy got to drop thier pants telling them he would "tie thier tubes"

One that always cracks me up is as soon....and I do mean AS SOON as the baby is born you get asked ....."how much does she/he weigh?" hummmmmmmmmm. And then I had one as soon as I checked her wanted to know what color the baby's hair was. She was 2/50/-2.

We also had a same sex couple that used a donor and a TURKEY BASTER to get pregnant.....(we had a great time with this one at the nurses station.)

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Ha ha ha ha. DayRay, Yuck! Great story though. And we get the how much do they weigh thng too....

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