Bizzare

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

Just when you think you have seen it all...........spent my evening with a laboring patient who had 3 male " significant others " coaching her, peering into her separated labia while she was pushing to see what color the baby's hair was. You guessed it........she didn't know which of them was the father. Her mother was there and everyone seemed to think this was normal. Please don't jump on me for being judgemental, I actually liked the girl and gave her the best care I am capable of. I am just floored by the social situations that are so bizarre, we couldn't make them up.......our imaginations wouldn't stretch that far. These poor children, growing up in an ammoral society. Do they have a prayer of being productive citizens ??? Thanks for letting me vent.

I wouldn't go so far as to call them men.

Agree!

I have a hard time with the patient's own father or brother or uncle being in the room and staring right up her wazoooooo. :icon_roll

I'm with the UK ladies . . . . :cheers:

steph

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There was a story elsewhere on this site about an OB patient who had three male visitors every day: her husband in the morning, her boyfriend in the afternoon, and the baby's father in the evening.

And there may be another explanation for what happened; I'll put it in the context of someone I knew many years ago and Googled a while back - and found this particular story in a newspaper archives.

The story was titled "And Baby Makes Five." She was married and shared a house with another married couple; they were pagan and practiced polyfidelity since all four people believed they were all spiritually married to each other. Yes, this did include sex in any conceivable (no pun intended) combination, and my acquaintance had given birth to a boy whose father was the OTHER husband. They did not consider anyone to have cheated since like I said, they all felt married to each other.

I thought, "Okay, fine, and what if one of these couples splits up?" Sure enough, there were other websites about this family, and when the boy was about a year old, the woman I knew moved out and took the baby with her. Since her husband was not the father and she was never married to the biological father who was listed on the birth certificate, she could cut off all visitation and there wasn't much the family courts could do about it.

An agreement regarding visitation rights was eventually reached, and as of when I found all these websites a couple years ago, the other woman still lived with both husbands - one legal, one common law. The boy is now about 10 years old.

Wow.

steph

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Agree!

I have a hard time with the patient's own father or brother or uncle being in the room and staring right up her wazoooooo. :icon_roll

I'm with the UK ladies . . . . :cheers:

steph

A while back, I was watching one of those "Birth Day" programs where a woman was giving birth at home, with her whole extended family in attendance.

At one point, she reached under her bathrobe (her father was in the room) and said, "I can feel some curly hair between my legs." :bugeyes: What, you mean it's been there since you were 10 years old and you're just now finding this out - oh, wait, you're talking about the BABY'S hair (mom was Caucasian but had very long, dark, curly hair). And as she delivered, her three sisters stood in the doorway and took OB-eye view pictures.

Since I started working in a hospital, I really don't watch shows like that any more, or ER or ambulance programs either. No, I don't deal with it directly, but I hear about it all day.

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I needed a break from the drama during pushing and left the room to get a drink and expressed my dismay to a co-worker that all three were staring closesly at her crotch. My co-worker replied, "Well, why not ? They have all been IN it " Sometimes if we don't laugh, we would cry. The drama continued throughout the stay. Doubtful any of them will really accept responsibility....they just wanted their moment of fame. Sometimes I think to myself, this really can't be happening......then the next day it is topped by something worse.

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Specializes in L&D, PACU.

Haven't had three, but I did have a laboring Mom ask me if she could have visitors, they were downstairs waiting to be told if they could come up. I asked who they were. She said, "my boyfriend, and the father of the baby...I think."

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Specializes in L&D, M/B.

What is wrong with single mom's today that makes it OK to have 2 or 3 men at your delivery and wondering which one is the baby daddy?? Why is that OK in today's society??? I am seeing it more and more. It's almost shocking to have a mom and dad that are married these days.

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Our society is becoming increasingly amoral. I am not a saint, nor claiming to be but having sex with 3 different males ( I refuse to call them "men" ) obviously within days or hours of one another does not constitute a moral life. I feel so sorry for the children who literally have no chance in life as they have no role models. Very scary for the school systems and our entire society. Such a sense of entitlement they have. That is why I HATE Press Ganey...............our Medicaid patients complain and demand and get to complain about us not jumping high or fast enough. Ever read one of those reports ??? I almost puked when I saw the category "Skill of the Nurse" to be graded by a patient. Who are they to judge our skill. What do they know of all the parameters we are evaluating in our assessment of them and their baby?? They can give a poor rating cause we didn't get their ice chips quickly enough. Sorry for the rant, but I still will post under the thread BIZARRE cause I think it gets more bizarre by the day.

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That's crazy! These stories remind me of the Maury Povich show. I saw one show in particular where the girl had a total of SIX guys on the show (6 different episodes over a period of time), each tested, because each one that came on, she was so sure he was the dad, and it turned out that NONE of them were! :stone Needless to say, she was hysterical and crying at the end of the last (sixth) episode! - LOL:lol2:

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When I attended my 5-year HS reunion in 1986, a group of women, who were all married with young children, advised me that the best way to have kids is to go into bars and pick up men and never tell him he had a child, or if that's not my thing, go to a sperm bank and pick a guy out of the catalogue because your husband won't show any more interest in the child than that anonymous picture.

:icon_roll

Thing was, the worst thing any of them said about their husbands was that one of them accidentally threw an $85 pair of pants into the dryer and shrunk them.

The conversation sticks with me to this day, and to my knowledge, most of these couples are still married.

I told the "pickup story" to some OB nurses one time, and one of them said, "You do not get the cream of the crop of the gene pool when you do that." Other people have concurred with me that this is a great way to get raped, get AIDS, get a kid with alcoholism genes, etc. Yes, I know there are lots of men who would be willing to take these women's fatherless kids under their wing and raise them as if they are their own, but it usually doesn't work out that way.

The people who have told me over the years that it's better to have kids without a husband, or even any father in the picture, are usually the type who also see no problem with dating married men. Go figure.

Thing is, I have heard that being a single parent is MUCH easier than raising a child with a husband so many times, there must be some truth to it. I suppose it would be if he's an alcoholic who refuses to work, that kind of thing. Pretty much the only people who have told me that single parenthood is more difficult have been men whose wives died or abandoned them, and widows.

By the time I was a teenager, I had heard so many stories about women who married the scum of the earth and was left destitute with 2 or 3 kids (never figured it out after the first one) that I asked my mom if women had some kind of contest to see who could snag the most worthless man. We're not talking about couples who were incompatible; we're talking about guys who were drug addicts, went to prison, etc. and the women knew this about them before they ever went out with them. Oh, and then a year or two later Mr. Wonderful came along and the kids referred to their biodad as their "fake dad" or whatever.

I do remember how many kids changed their names in elementary school because their mom remarried and their stepdad adopted them, but this was in the early 1970s and I wonder now how much of this may have been "You have a new daddy so you don't need the old one any more."

:twocents:

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Funny, but sad at the same time. A choice of THREE men??? Poor girl, thats all I can say, oh and poor baby! :icon_roll

............and maybe, none of them will turn out to be the baby-daddy!:bugeyes:

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My local newspaper recently did an interview with a woman who headed the teen parenting and transitional housing program for the local YWCA, and one thing she said was quite telling: "Women set the bar very low when it comes to picking the men who father their children." She is so right, and honestly, a lot of those women probably aren't any better.

Another message board I frequent had a thread of "How to live your life" and one of the comments was "Jail is not a dating service." D'oh!

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Specializes in midwifery, NICU.
When I attended my 5-year HS reunion in 1986, a group of women, who were all married with young children, advised me that the best way to have kids is to go into bars and pick up men and never tell him he had a child, or if that's not my thing, go to a sperm bank and pick a guy out of the catalogue because your husband won't show any more interest in the child than that anonymous picture.

:icon_roll

Jees-OH! I'm struck dumb! Absolutely speechless........Hope you ran away fast from these "fine examples of woman/Parenthood", rph!!

Your post is a great one btw, enjoyed reading it, but this, above all struck me!

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