Age when you had your first child? - page 3

Morning everyone! I'm doing a paper for development psych (ugh) and was wondering how old most of you were when you had your first child and what you think the best age to start a family is. I... Read More

  1. by   Jessy_RN
    No children

    But do believe the proper age is whenever you are mature enough to settle down for a child and financially stable. To some it's 30+ others early 20's.
  2. by   rn in 3 years
    Quote from RavenAngel
    I'm 31 now, and have a 14 year old son, and 10 and 6 year old daughters. Yes, I was a senior in high school(17) when I became a mom. Was this the best age? No, but being a young mom has its advantages too. Even though it was definitely a struggle, I will be in my forties when my children leave the nest, and I will have that time in my life to travel, work more, and have more freedom. On the downside, it has taken me much longer to complete college, and I am still in the process of buying my first home.

    I don't think there really is a "best age" for starting a family, because raising children is the hardest job you will ever have regardless. However, I sometimes wonder about parents starting families in their late 40s, early 50s and wonder how well it is working for them.

    I too started young. Got pregnant at 17, gave birth at 18 and had my second child at 21. My kids should be done with college and out of the house by the time I am 45. If I had it to do all over agin I don't think I would have started so young. All turned out exceptionally well for me but I think it would have been better to grow up first by myself than grow up with my children. Although, I am a very understanding mom because it wasn't all that long ago that I went through all the typical teenage crap (my kids are now 13 & 16).
  3. by   suzi_h
    [/quote] Spanked my daughter more than I should have, even though she was basically an easy child.

    With the second, I was sort of learning all over again but remembered some stuff from the first. Was more patient, but not as active. I think I'm the best mom with my third as far as temperment goes but I'm definitely not as spry. I have definite ideas about when the "right" time to have a child is but this has some leeway. I'd say between 18-40 is ok, depending on the parents. Anything sooner or later is too young or too old, IMO.[/quote]


    I first have to agree with the spanking thing. But, I think that's a first time mom thing, not an age thing. It's funny, with #2 and #3, it was the same too. Do you find the third to be your most laid back child? I always laugh with my mom about how I'd have 10 if they were all as laid back as him. But, the first 9 wouldn't have been as easy. I have to also agree, 18-40 is a great time frame for children.... .

    Suzi
  4. by   serinity in life
    I was 26 with my first child and 29 with the second. This was not by my choice. I believe that at any age there are pro's and con's. I also believe that there is a purpose for everything and everyone, without trying to sound like a nut I believe that your higher power decideds when the right time is for you. I enjoy my girls very much and would never tried them for anything( well maybe some sanity) The oldest is now 13 years old and a true blessing. The younger one is turning 11 and is the joy of my life, I don't think i could have made it threw the divorce without them!!!!
  5. by   mtnmom
    30, the 2nd at 35 - both girls now 16 and 11
    I did not get married until age 29 and got pregnant 6 months later!!!
    I personally would not have been ready any younger but it is an individual thing.

    My 2 girls are the joy of my life...they actually get along beautifully (most of the time that is)
  6. by   GooeyRN
    A few days after my 27th birthday. This is my only child so far. I feel this is a good age. I still have energy and can easily deal with the sleep deprivation, and I feel I am mature enough to deal with the tremendous responsibilities of being a parent.
  7. by   krisssy
    married-23
    first pregnancy-26-miscarried-with fertility drug
    second pregnancy-26-miscarried-with fertility drug
    third pregnancy-27-healthy baby boy-needed stronger fertility drugs for both hubby and I
    fourth pregngncy- 31-healthy baby boy-fertility drugs for only hubby
    fifth pregnancy- 34 unplanned -no fertility drugs for either of us -healthy baby boy
    Then my husband had a vasectomy. He didn't want any more children. I would have wanted a fourth child. For me , the age was right to have children, but I really wanted another child when I was about 40. I regret not being able to have one due to my husband who is now my ex husband.
    I am remarried and regret that I am too old to have more children with him. The happiest and healthiest I was in my whole life was when I was pregnant. And I love my boys so much. Yes my third was definitely the easiest and the most laid back. I had the children in five years and was working, so I put less time into him. He is the most well adjusted to this day. I never spanked my kids. I never punished my kids. My graNDMA HAD FIVE KIDS WHO TURNED OUT GREAT. i ASKED HER WHAT SHE DID. SHE SAID JUST LOVE THEM, AND THAT'S WHAT i DID. THEY TURNED OUT GREAT EXCEPT WHEN WE GOT DIVORCED AND I HAD A BREAKDOWN. BUT THEY WERE ALREADY IN THEIR 20'S BY THEN. kRISSSY PS I know a lot of young people today wait until they are a lot older to have kids. That is fine, BUT you never know how long it may take you to conceive or if there will be any problems.
  8. by   luvmy2angels
    had my daughter when I was 27 and my son when I was 30. It was the perfect age for me. just depends on where you are in life I guess. Everyone is different.
  9. by   VivaLasViejas
    I was almost 24 with baby #1
    25 with #2 (this baby was anencephalic )
    27 with #3
    30 with #4
    32 with #5

    Since I've had children in both my 20s and 30s, I can say that I definitely had more energy with the first three, but I was a much better mother with the last two. Financially ready? We'd STILL be childless if that were truly a prerequisite for parenthood And I can't even imagine giving birth at my age, let alone starting over with a new baby and dealing with chronic sleep deprivation, toddlerhood, and the public school system for another 18 years I'm already a grandmother, and very happy with that role I might add......I'm glad for those women who do have midlife babies and are thrilled with them; me, I'd probably want to jump off a bridge if I were to find myself expectant at 47.:chuckle

    I don't think that's ever going to be an issue, thank goodness........not only is my dh 'fixed', I haven't had a period since late June and I know darn well I'm not pregnant. Maybe menopause has finally arrived---hope so, anyway---I've been having hot flashes and other sx since I was 42, and I'm more than ready to be done with the monthly game of "Let's Make a Mess".~sigh~
  10. by   michelle95
    Married at 18
    #1 at 19 (honeymoon baby)
    #2 at 24

    I would definitely wait if I had it to do over. There are so many things I wish I could have done first (school for one) but God knows better than me. And, I would not have had the same children.

    Like someone else said....I've already started drilling it into my oldest child's head about waiting until after college to start a family. I point out how we have struggled financially and emotionally while I have gone to school.

    It may not help...but, it may.

    But, I'll be in my early 40's when the kids are grown...then, I can do what I want to do. Vet school here I come!
  11. by   Nicky032605
    unknown pregnancy at 17/ misscarried
    25/ only child/ boy

    Having my son has completely changed who I was and I have changed for the better. Everything I do is for him. I sometimes wish I would have waited till I was done with school. It gets very frustrating some times becuase of that. He was very much unexpected, but he has taught me so much, which makes me glad I had him when I did - and possible wish I had him earlier. Who knows - I just know the timing was right for me even though everything is very difficult now. I guess I just needed to grow up and having him is what did it. I believe it depends on the person and where they are in their life emotionally, mentally, and if they are cut out to be a parent. I believe age, for the most part, is irrelevant.
  12. by   wendy7
    I am 39 and had my first child at 18. It too was very much unexpected and i missed out on a lot for the next few years. I didnt regret him, not once but started to make up for the years i lost when i was in my late 20s. I had my fun and settled down again with my now 2nd husband. We have 2 other children who are now 3 and 6, my son is now 21. I was sorry to miss out on the years i lost but have got a wonderful son who i couldnt imagine life without.
  13. by   GPatty
    1st daughter at 17
    2nd child (son) at 19
    3rd child (daughter) at 23
    4th child (son) at 25
    5th child (daughter) at 30
    6th child (daughter) at 31
    Now, I'm close to 43, with 4 still at home, and raising a grandson (age 8).

    Started young? yea...
    Would I change it? Maybe some things, but not my children.

    Perfect age? Whenever your life is stable enough and prepared enough to give the child a proper upbringing with lots of love and understanding.

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