13yr olds having babies.

tylerlvn · Mar 3, 2004

I am so sorry for your pain. I have a 14 year old daughter myself. Your family has such difficult decsions to make. I agree with the earlier post about you and your husband sticking together. You have to keep your family together . No matter what you and your family decide to do - it will be difficult. You will be in my prayers.

enerjan · Mar 4, 2004

Dear LiLTiger,

So sorry to hear of your news. How old is the boy, and was the sex consentual? I have been and L&D nurse for 9 yrs and we do see a lot of children having babies (the youngest I cared for was 12 and pregnant by her stepfather.) I assume it's too late for an abortion, don't know where you stand on this. However, of the children having babies that I have dealt with, the parents of the expectant mother are usually the ones raising the baby. Have y'all considered adoption?

hrherika · Mar 5, 2004

HUGGGGGGGGSS!!!!!!!!

I am positive you are a great mother! Just look how you stood by your child! But children are children, and are learning how to make decisions, and in this process, they don't always make good ones.

You need to make sure she's getting enough nutrition for herself and the baby (I'm assuming she's going to carry it....)

Can you get some family couseling? If anything, it will be a place you can talk and work things out.

I feel for you! Mine is 13 and I am scared to death! I KNOW her friend is having sex... I am probably in denial too.

HUGS and you are in my prayers..

Erika

I caught myself saying what any parent does not my child.
I took my 13 yr old to the doctor yesturday & found out she may be about 4mnths pregnant.
I do not let her run the streets, I take her to school & back and she was in Martial arts until now and on honor roll.
She was telling me she hasn't had sex ,I believed her because we never go anywhere and I always have her with me , except when she's in school.
The doctor looks at me and says he'll be back, he brings in a fetal heart monitor, goes over to my daughter sqeezes the jell on her abdomen and a minute later I hear the heartbeat, my heart sunk , I had trusted her & she lied. The doctor looked at her and calmly said you lied to me --- she said huh, he said your pregnant. I asked him to do more testing I was still in denial .
I talked to her in the bathroom & found it was a boy who had been in her class and it happened at school.I don't know how to feel or what to think. I said I would stick by her but I and my husband feel numb and depressed & I feel like I want it to be a bad dream, but I know it is reality.
I just need someone to ask and someone to give me positive advice or something.

BJONEAL · Mar 5, 2004

Hi,

I would like to cheer you up about this problem.In my opinion sound like you are really caring and protective mother .People make mistake you know ,but this might be to much for you .Have you talked with your daughter about what is she going to do next ?

I think your daughter lied to you because of she afraid she will be disappointed on her,and you did .If you and your daughter don't want baby maybe you should contact social worker for donate child ,but please talk with your family ,especailly your daughter.

ejm99 · Mar 23, 2004

Just wanted to offer my well wishes and hope for an update.

mamaof3 · Mar 23, 2004

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. Mine is 15 yrs old and I am constantly worried about this happening to her. Especially, since I was a teenage mother myself 15 years ago. Whatever you do don't blame yourself. It sounds like you did everything you could do to warn your daughter about these things. She made this decision and there is nothing you could have done to change her mind about this. Now you must look forward. Be there for your daughter and baby. Go to classes with her on child birth. Encourage her to stay in school. Help her financially if needed. But most of all show her that you will stand behind her and that you are not ashamed of her. Encourage her to finish school and go to college for the welfare of her baby.

ejm99 · Mar 23, 2004

Child birth classes...oh my that brings back memories for me.....I was 22, when I found out I was preg....my bf of just over a year...the one who had JUST began talking MARRIAGE...left me the moment he found out. My mom was AWESOME...supportive, loving and absolutely then and now..."my ROCK!" My dr REQUIRED childbirth classes...and they were HORRIBLE. I was the only single mom in a room w/ 7 other young married couples, I cried thru them...I felt so JUDGED by them.

then came the day my instructor called me to say she'd found another single mom for our group. Sure....one who was 18 and having her THIRD child ..she didn't know who the father was and didn't care.. it was AWFUL...I refused to go back after that.

So definitely ...if she's going to go to the classes...find one that has other girls in her situation...anthing else is agony!

missmercy · Mar 23, 2004

You are in my thoughts and prayers!1 Have worked in OB w/ some really young girls -- so many were devestated by the lack of love and support they were getting from family members. Glad to see you are supportive and that you are concerned about her.

Encourage you to find out specifics and to get counseling for the whole family. Some tough decisions ahead....be there for her!! Love her to pieces -- whatever ya'all decide!! Keep us posted -- we care!

purplemania, BSN, RN · Mar 23, 2004

I have started this response twice because I really don't know what words to use. My heart goes out to your family, including that precious grandbaby you have not met yet. This will be the most important parenting you have ever done for your daughter, by supporting her and teaching her to take care of herself. She will learn a lot this year. I hope she learns that a mother's love is unconditional, even when a painful situation presents itself. Keep us posted.

healingtouchRN · Mar 23, 2004

I continue to hold you & yours in my thoughts & prayers. Remember what Mary, mother of Jesus, must have felt being unmarried, a child with child in a culture that would have stoned her to death has she not had the support of her loved ones. That grandbaby may be our future leader or future healer, so hold that in your heart as you await his coming. Peace be with you.

sprtbikegrlsv65 · Mar 26, 2004

does anyone know how the OP is and her daughter? please update!

BabyRN2Be · Mar 27, 2004

Actually, I was going to ask the same thing. LilTiger71 hasn't been back since she posted this. Maybe she found this BB and was unloading.

LilTiger71, if you are still out there, you are still in my prayers. I visit this forum frequently and every time I see your original post, I pray for you. If you feel like it, please get back to us and let us know how your family is doing. Until then, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

*hugs* and love to you,

Katherine