What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story?

this is why I work NICU

This is why I sing hymnals on my way to work! "Please watch ova me Lawd! (hahahaha)"

My worst experiences had been while I was an EMT with the county contracted ambulance 911 provider. We often responded to county calls from protective services. the bay area has quite a few cities that are highly "elderly" populated.

We are called to a scene in which an elderly woman was reported with ALOC (Mayun...I hate to hear ALOC now! its a catch all!). We are told to enter fully gowned/universal precautions. Well, it was hot that day and at the time our company wore jumpsuits, so I declined to put one on. We get to the home, the inside was dimly lit and filed with books stacked to the ceiling, empty cans of food, trash thrown everywhere the books and empty cans weren't and styrophone cups with old coffee in them. You can imagine the stinch! Oh...did I mention roaches, flies, "lions and tigers and bears...oh my!!!?"

The woman was in the back of the house. It was a narrow walkway to her. We decide to sit-pic her a short distance to the guerney and get her outta there. The first attempt, I lost my footing and my knees hit her carpeted floor. "Splat"..I thought "awwww @#$!". It wasn't untill we got her loaded into the ambulance that I realized it was urine and a few roach body parts on my knees. A leg, an antenna. (Bare with me...I'm blanking out and sweating telling this even though that was eight years ago!)I asked her the typical "how are you feeling today?" She insisted she felt a little tired after coming home from teaching the children that day, as a roach climbed from under her wig to the back of her neck. I wonder if she noticed during
"recess" the petrified poo-log that was working its way up her back?

Our unit was down long enough for me to take off my jumpsuit, throw it in the dumpster and go home, swatting imaginary roaches that ran through the flashes of my mind! Our ambulance was out for a week to make sure it didn't become those critters new home!

(Imma faint now...bye!)

(english hospital funny story: sorry if you dont understand some of what im chatting about but you will get the jist)

This is one that happened in the resus area of the Accident and emergency department where i work. We had and blue call come in with a patient who had arrested. in the department cpr was continued and he was shocked several times and the cycle was caried out several times with people swapping around with cpr and shocking this went on for 20 mins when the medical registrar on call decide to shock the patient once again and try one more cycle before stopping. She was on call and had been in clinic she wasnt wearing scrubs or a Dr,s coat but a very nice trouser suit that and had just had her hair done that morning. any way she placed tha paddles on the patient and shocked him as she did so the patient as a reflex response ejaculated straight into her hair and over the side of her jacket. The funnist part of this was that she didnt actualy notice and carried on working on the patient and couldnt for the life of her understand why all the staff in there with her kept crying with laughter whilst still working and it wasnt until the end of the arrest that anybody told her what had happend where upon she sprinted to the toilet to clean herslef up and be sick lol luckily she did see the funny side to this as she has been getting wound up about it by every Dr. in the place ever since it happened

hope u found it as funny as we did lol

Gee and I was thinking the lugee coughing this guy was doing this morning across the hall from my office was nasty.

Do other people find this stuff funny? It sure has made my morning better.

I can say it took me over an hour and 2 trips to the bathroom to finish reading these lol
Im hurting now so Im tossing in my 2 cents:
When I was a New Grad LPN fresh from the delusion of I can be the one to heal the world reality hit me like a ton of bricks.
In the ER where I had been a tech while I was in LPN school , I was hired to work as a LPN , First offical night of working I had the usual stuff, bumps, bruises , terminal earache, and the OMG GI Bleed from Hell.... Never in my life had I ever seen so much blood come out of every end in my life, this person was also a frequent flyer that the staff often betted on her ETOH levels, well after cleaning her up and stabilizing her with 2 other Rns and a tech, it was time for a foley.... Well a few things I noticed while placing the foley,
1. A remote control
2. corn nibblets
3. kleenex pieces
4. duct tape stuck to her buttocks
5. a tattoo that stated " I work hard for the money"
6. a credit / atm ticket
It took me by surprise and I can say with joy that I havent been fortunate enough to find such articles in that space so far KNOCKS ON WOOD
But yet Im still young.... And I work in the Operating room now !!!!
hows that for irony....

One of my yuckiest moments, We had a couple that were frequent fliers, where one was the other was sure to follow, their last name was Blue and thats all they wore, everything they owned was in different shades of blue. He had just visited his wife who was on our med/surg floor, he put her on the bedside commode and left for the night. She rings that she is finished and I go in to get her off the seat.
"Done"
"Yes"
"Sure your done, I can come back if you need more time"
"No, no nothing else left"
(anybody see it comming)
Get her up, walk forward and turn her for the bed when she goes
"Mabey I'm not done"
She lets loose with the most foul smelling case of bloody diarhea and urine. I almost lost my cookies from the smell alone. Then I notice, HHEEEYYYY my foot is reallllllyyyyyyy warm all of a sudden, it hit me at the knee, ran down and filled my shoe.

That was the last day I ever wore a nursing dress, now its pants (ward master nixed the hipwaders idea)

:hatparty: :hatparty:

I've got a gross one. I've worked in an ER and I can handle just about any body fluid (and have) except earwax. Earwax grosses me out. Was working in an ER in Puerto Rico while in the Navy and we had homeless dependent uncle or some relation come into ER c/o trouble hearing. On exam, doc found both ears severly packed with thick, green earwax. YUMMMMEY!

Well, yours truly gets to irrigate his ears, not the thrill of my life. I irrigated so much earwax out of that man's ears, it was coming out in big, green nuggets. When I showed pt emesis basin of what I had cleaned out of his scuzzy ears, he proceeds to get a big smile on his face, picked up one of the greasy nuggets and eats it!!! YUCK! I just about pucked on myself with that one. To this day, can barely clean my own ears!

Eats it? Oh hell no!

S_BSN

Say it ain't so!
Yuck!

that was just NASTY!!! i got through the other posts pretty ok but yours Navynurse29 hit the puker!!! shew, bless your heart for having to have witnessed that!!!