What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you?

Nurses Humor

Published

what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light of one of the other nurses patients, who was a very immature primip (married), whom we were certain, at some point, due to her clinical picture, was going to be a c/s. she wanted to make certain i knew how to detach her from the monitor and help her to the bathroom. no problem. however, not two minutes after i had left the room, she rang again and began yelling. her nurse was busy (did i mention we had 3 other patients in active labor?) so i went in, expecting some sort of major problem. she asked me to scratch her ass...in those words, exactly...i was taken aback and she had to have noticed my facial expression as she quickly countered that she couldn't reach and her husband, who was wide awake next to her, didn't want to do it....i am ashamed to say that i did put on some gloves and not too willingly scratched it, but when she insisted we start wiping her after trips to the bathroom, i just had to ask how she had managed to reach herself all the months leading up to her current admission. she was also ruptured so there was no way....she was a real trip....i have also had patients ask that we pop zits and in my cardiac unit days, some of the requests from patients are just too risque to repeat, but never had i had such wacky requests on a regular basis, until i transferred to ob...how about all of you?

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

:eek: We never know what a new day is going to bring do we Tabbeycatt.:p

Well, at least you didn't have to remove an impaction from her butt. God only knows what would have happened if you had to do that. :chuckle

Originally posted by Frances LeMay

:chuckle Hi there Legsmalone,

It sounds like that little remark backfired on you bigtime.:imbar Did you get teased about it?

sigh....yes I did

But it wasn't merciless teasing, the nurse who came up with the idea couldn't stop laughing though:roll

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

I don't doubt that.:roll :roll:kiss

I work in a pediatric urgent care and one night about 10:50 pm (10 minutes before closing) a couple brought their 4 year old in with an ear ache. I brought the child in to triage and ask the mother the reason for the visit. She explained that earlier that day she had taken her child to her PCP and she was given amoxil for her ® ear infection. So why is she here tonight, I ask? Because now her left ear is hurting!

Years ago in a LTC facility I was working at, we had a female head injury and a male muscular dystrophy get married. It was nice, family, staff all supported the marriage. After the marriage of course they shared the same room. Two beds hooked together. All seemed well. Then....about 4 days after the marriage she called me into the room to speak "privately". I was the day shift supervisor and she wanted me to leave directions for the 3-11 shift to come in at 9pm every noc and position her on him (fully), and she would put the call light on when it was time to get off or maybe a little after :) I told her I understood her dilemna, but it was beyond the call of what staff does. They needed to improvise.

Of course...I had a little fun with the 3-11 shift for a few minutes as one of the tasks that were added :)

Every night?? Wow, that's more action than I get!!!!!

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Hi Darlene,

I con only reply with, "Duh!" :rolleyes:

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

I wonder if they had human monitors. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Well, I had a patient last night that was "a few bricks shy of a load" you could say. Ya know the kind... when you are talking to them they are looking right through you like everything you say is over their head, even when spelled in the most elementary way. I took her (postpartum) stool softener to her, and said "this is the stool softener your doctor wants you to have so it will be easier for you to have a bowel movement". She asked "what's in it?" I said, "a stool softener... I can't remember the name off the top of my head (had a brain fart or something at the time)". SHe asked me to find out. So I go back into the med room to look. Then I go back and tell her, "it's called surfak, it has docusate and some calcium in it. It is to help you have a BM". THEN, she asks... does it have penicillin in it?" ??!!??!!???? Just struck me as, well... duh! I explained to her that penicillin is an antibiotic for treating infections, and not found in stool softeners.

A few hours later, I had another patients (first night postpartum) husband come to me and say, "my wife is very concerned because she is having some light lady partsl bleeding". Ofcourse, I explained to him that bleeding was expected for a week or so after having a baby. I realize that not everyone reads up on pregnancy and such, but still!

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Hi ShandyLynnRN,

There's not very much to reply to those experiences except, "DUH!"

By the way, I have lots of brain farts all the time, and the condition seems to be increasing daily.

Cheers!

Specializes in Step down, ICU, ER, PACU, Amb. Surg.

Our SICU is combined with the PACU so when there is excess staff or we have no patients (I work in a small military hospital). we are floated to PACU. A young soldier was brought out of the OR after bilateral knee surgery done under a spinal and after about 30 minutes of staring at the cieling he said, can I sak you something personal and being rather haphazard, warped and demented in my sense of humor and thinking that maye he had a serious concern, I said sure. He says to me (as he lifts up the sheet to peer down at his nether region) Does "IT" still work cause I can't feel it? Very unprofessionally of me, I started to laugh as well as the other nurse I was working with and told him, the general rule of thumb is as follows, "If you touch it and you can't feel it, it ain't workin' yet" He smiles and laughed a little nervously and then said can I ask another question? I again agreed (I figure the 2nd has to be as good as the 1st) and he said, "When will I be able to, um...well...um.....you "KNOW" with my girlfriend??" (poor thing was at the bedside when he asked this and she was BEET red but stayed...what a trooper) With great self control (my sides were shaking by now) I said that is something that you will have to discuss with your physician but I am sure that he will tell you that you will have to gauge that by how you feel, making sure you are careful of your surgical sites. With that I turned and made a hasty exit to another area of the PACU. What some folks find troublesome in time of great anxiety......lol lol lol

Specializes in ICU.

Okay one night at about 10pm in a small country ICU I get a phone call "How is Mr...". (MR ... had been a carnival worker who had been in a major MVA) Now like a lot of you I had been trained never to tell a person inquiring that the relative had died in case it caused the inquiring relative to also have some sort of turn but in this case this was not an option and I had to "Look I am sorry but Mr... passed away - about three weeks ago"

"OH - Why wasn't I told?" came the reply thinking to myself well 0 ifyou haven;t rung to enquire about a patient in ICU in three weeks...... quietly adn pleasently I answered "Well we have had the Police looking for relatives to contact" Immediate response - "YOU CALLED THE POLICE!!!!!!" It took me five mineutes to calm teh woman down and assure her they were only looking for someone to tell about his passing away. Finally she says

"Oh Where is he now?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't you know?"

"Errr I don't look after people once they have died! He might still be in the morgue"

"Can you go and check"

"NO!"

It took me another 10 minutes to try and talk the woamn into ringing back in the morning to talk to a hospital social worker and as I talked teh relationship she claimed became more and more distant down to "Oh we really don't know him all that well....."

She was serious about wanting me to go down to the morgue and check out the bodies at 10 pm at night!

+ Add a Comment