what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light of one of the other nurses patients, who was a very immature primip (married), whom we were certain, at some point, due to her clinical picture, was going to be a c/s. she wanted to make certain i knew how to detach her from the monitor and help her to the bathroom. no problem. however, not two minutes after i had left the room, she rang again and began yelling. her nurse was busy (did i mention we had 3 other patients in active labor?) so i went in, expecting some sort of major problem. she asked me to scratch her ass...in those words, exactly...i was taken aback and she had to have noticed my facial expression as she quickly countered that she couldn't reach and her husband, who was wide awake next to her, didn't want to do it....i am ashamed to say that i did put on some gloves and not too willingly scratched it, but when she insisted we start wiping her after trips to the bathroom, i just had to ask how she had managed to reach herself all the months leading up to her current admission. she was also ruptured so there was no way....she was a real trip....i have also had patients ask that we pop zits and in my cardiac unit days, some of the requests from patients are just too risque to repeat, but never had i had such wacky requests on a regular basis, until i transferred to ob...how about all of you?
Before I became a nurse, I did private home care- I had one 85 year old pt that I bathed QOD because he had rheumatoid arthritis and could not bathe himself. He decided that the washing of his genitals stimulated testosterone production and would make him feel better if I would "do it a little harder and more of it" He stated it would be a medical therapy, I told him it would be prostitution. He even typed up a business card for me ( he could type with one finger on each hand)- "testosterone therapy" , photocaopied some info on the benefits of increased teststerone production and had his daughter cut out 2 obits from the local paper of 2 ladies that had passed recently and left elderly husbands behind that could use my services!!! ( she didn't know why he wanted them) I talked w/ his daughter and after a stern talking to, this kind of talk and requests stopped. His daughter was sooooo embarrassed!
Specializes in intensive care major medical centers.
on a nursing admission assesment on a renal patient I asked the patient what kind of a diet they were on and he replied that thay were on a rectal diet i dont know about you but im not goin to feed you
One day at dinner time I had a patient just about in tears because of her tray. "I can't eat THIS" she said gesturing at the (soft) biscuit, stew, and cooked broccoli. "I don't have a lot of teeth" I pointed out that the food on her tray was pretty soft, but I could contact the doctor and get a soft diet ordered for her. She got even more upset at that suggestion, so I asked what food I could get for her that she would be able to eat. Her reply? "Pizza, chips, chicken nuggets, you know, food I can actually EAT!" Uh huh junk food, got it!
This past February before I graduated, I did a preceptorship on a Telemetry floor. One day I got this sweet old 76 year old man, who was in for a cath and to test his pacemaker. I don't mind hugging patients...I love hugging period! However, he asked me if he could kiss me on the cheek, and of course I told him that would be inappropriate. The night nurse had warned me in report about his antics, but I thought, for some CRAZY reason, that he wouldn't do the same with me. WRONG!! Then, he asked me if I wanted to "see what this old man was all about...we could lock the door and not tell." Needless to say, I bust out laughing and told him that that wasn't going to be tolerate but nice try. He ended up apologizing later....I was grossed out and felt weird, but now I can really laugh about it.
Oh geez...let's see..."I'm sure I could do that, however I don't think you'd enjoy having your entire body weight suspended from that particular appendage."
on a nursing admission assesment on a renal patient I asked the patient what kind of a diet they were on and he replied that thay were on a rectal diet i dont know about you but im not goin to feed you
We had a little feller who was restrained. Nice guy during the day, but at night the sundowners REALLY kicked in.
So we go in the see why this guy is hollering (again). He says he wants to be untied. We (and his wife who is sitting right next to him) explain that if he gets up he'll fall and all that good stuff.
"But I wanna go out there"
"Why?"
" I want some ------, I see them women out there" (He said pointing the female nurses standing by the door watching)
"Uh, buddy, ya know your' wife is right over there"
(He turns his head slowly to look at her)
"She don't care"
At this point we all (wife include) dang near died laughing.
i've pulled chin hairs and painted dragon length fingernails for lols and, once, even picked up a library book for a 12 year old so he could do his book report, when i had planned to go to the library anyway, but i absolutely completely and totally draw the line at paint a 50-something male's toenails! no how...
Today at work (home health) I was asked to "find this guy who lived on _____ street a few years back who used to bring copper wiring down to the junkyard because I'm looking for him" (when I asked if there was anything else I could help him with). He said that if I found him he'd give me $100. I told him that he didn't need a nurse, he needed a private detective. He asked me to find him the number for a private detective. I told him to check the yellow pages.
I had a patient who was darned-near brain dead, on full support, and doing very poorly. I gently explained to the patient's sisters that there was a good chance the patient would die during the night.
Her sister asked me, "Well, if she dies tonight, will they still do the EEG tomorrow?"
I wasn't sure how to react to this. I said, "no".
"Well, what about cat scans?"
"No," I said, "If she dies, we aren't going to do anymore tests."
While working as a nursing assistant, during nursing school, I was asked by a rotund, elderly, spinal surgery patient if I would shave her legs because her husband was picking her up early in the morning to go home. She explained that since she had been in the hospital for a few days, he would probably want to pull the car over on the side of the road and get into the back seat for some "lovin." hmmmm..just never got around to it that night! :)
junk food, got it!
ernoc333
20 Posts
Hahaha. What a dirty old man!