Things nursing school FAILED to tell us - page 6

Wouldn't it have been great if they told us this stuff in nursing school? NOTE: A LOT OF MINE WERE MEANT FOR LTC NURSES The human body is capable of holding 200 cups of H2O/coffee in your... Read More

  1. by   lupin
    I've learned that there is no tension breaker that is better that laughter.

    There is no bigger mood killer than negativity.

    Most people will not wash their periarea for days before coming in with a genital issue.

    A majority of the population is uneducated about their own medications.

    No matter what the letters behind the name are, it doesn't mean they know what they are doing.

    No matter how much schooling you have, someone will have heard something from their neighbor's ex-boyfriend's aunt that trumps whatever pt education you are giving them.

    That subtle sarcasm is the best form of entertainment.

    Patients will not always agree to whatever you say, no matter how many times you explain the rationale behind it.

    People will automatically assume the male nurses are the doctors and the women doctors/PAs are the nurses.

    That I could be made to feel guilty for working my 12 hour shift and leaving when it is over.
  2. by   beachmom
    I never knew men could have "innies," and I'm not talking about belly buttons.

    Once I had to call a urology nurse to find the opening to insert a catheter in a man.
  3. by   ElvishDNP
    That so much poop can come out of little tiny baby bottoms.

    That I would look at the clock at 0500 and realize that I have not eaten, peed, or sat down since arriving at 1845 the night before.

    That just being nice to patients would go so far in making my shift a good one.

    To never, EVER, say that I'm bored.

    That the patient I anticipate being an 'easy' one will be the one to crump.

    That postpartum women can bleed so much.

    That a good CNA can make or break your shift.

    That I better document every single time I call a doc, that way when they deny that I ever called them, my butt is not going to be as crispy when they try to fry it.

    That some people should not try to have their first babies after age 40. (notice I said some...)
  4. by   EmmaG
    Quote from beachmom
    I never knew men could have "innies," and I'm not talking about belly buttons.

    Once I had to call a urology nurse to find the opening to insert a catheter in a man.
    The trick is to poke 'em (like the Pillsbury Dough Boy).

    Seriously. It works
  5. by   tashfonz
    Quote from elizabells
    I keep hearing this...why? Do they poison you or something? Seriously, I'm confused.......
    I work on maternal/child and we once had a lady bring us in some baking (I think we had looked after a family member). Anyways, she had had a baby a couple months prior and told us that she produced so much milk that she used it for cooking for her family. She then told us not to worry that she used store bought milk for the baking she made us. Needless to say noone ate the baking.
  6. by   TDub
    Quote from LLLRN
    That if you choose to work in home health you will be inserting a foley into an elderly woman that weighs about 90lbs, but has the strength of 10 men. The room will be about 100 degrees, you will be sweating like a pig and the only light in the room will be a 25 watt light bulb on the other side of the room. In order to insert the catheter you will be on your knees in the bed with a pen light in your mouth and your elbow will be trying to hold her knees apart...oh yeah and don't forget sterile technique because this is the last catheter you have in your car and you are about 65 miles from your office.
    Also, when you go to admit your patient for service, again about 65-70 miles from the office, the patient will be dead when you get there. Unfortunately, the family will not realize that grandma is not just sleeping and so when you let them know that she has expired the will all become so hysterical that the pregnant niece will start having contractions and need an ambulance. There will not be a current DNR order and you will need to carry your own phone because the family will have a phone that does not dial out long distance and you will be in the middle of nowhere.
    And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken.


    The putting a cath in the little old lady part did happen to me. There was no light in the room, so the daughter got a table lamp and held it for me. The only problem was she was more interested in what I was doing than in paying attention to what SHE was doing, so I got several burns on the back of my neck, eyebrows and temple. Sst, ow! Ssst, ow! Ssst, hey!
  7. by   peridotgirl
    that not everybody's BP falls into the norm.
    In school when teachers yell at u for doing something wrong, u do the procedure over, in the real world, u don't get a
    "do over"
    That school is soo much easier than work
  8. by   SaderNurse05
    Quote from beachmom
    I never knew men could have "innies," and I'm not talking about belly buttons.

    Once I had to call a urology nurse to find the opening to insert a catheter in a man.
    I had a guy like this. He also complained of a penile ulcer so when I could not find his member I asked him to show me the ulcer... NEVER would have found it otherwise.
  9. by   adrienurse
    deleted
    Last edit by adrienurse on Sep 17, '08
  10. by   suanna
    They never told me that ALL the patients in the hospital on weekends are crazy, confused or combative. ETOH abuse is the primary hobby of all patients between the age of 30 and 80. They failed to mention that you will work every holiday-if you aren't scheduled they will call you in to cover the call-offs. Night shift is a right of passage. No nurse has any opinion about how thing shoud be done that is considered more than a passing jest for management.
    I actualy had an instructor tell me that nurses are the only true professionals in health care since doctors are hired mercenarys and the rest of the hospital staff are there to support the nursing department-(she had been out of the acute care arena for a while)
  11. by   emeraldjay
    Here's something I wished they taught me in class:
    No matter how many times the patient has hit the floor, she/he will still try to get out of bed and walk.
    Some doctors need a reminder that their patient is not between the covers of a chart/set of vital signs.
    The patient's peri area that was as red as a traffic light all night will suddenly and miraculously heal when it comes time for the doctor to look at.
    Some of your co-workers will be shocked and horrified that neither the patients nor staff sleep on night shift.
    The hospital is not a place for a patient to get some rest.
    Make sure your partner lifts when "boosting" a patient or you will end up in the ER or tossing the patient in your partner's lap or both.
    Your second aide on a floor full of assist of 2's will always be treated as the "spare" aide and be floated off unit when it's time for AM cares.
    Chux pad placement is an artform, those who don't believe this will doom the next shift to a series of complete bed changes.
    There is someone out there who is teaching beancounters that mandatory overtime costs less than scheduled overtime... Who knew?
    The patients who acknowledge they aren't the only patients on the unit are probably the ones that need your help the most and ask for it the least.
    That little old lady with a fracture at both ends of the same humerus is convinced her arm is not broken.
    There will be times in your career that you will swear family members make mom or dad a full code just to be cruel.
  12. by   Avelinne
    These are my gems:

    That people(Administrators/NS Managers,etc...) can lie with a straight face and their noses won't get bigger.

    That a little jiggle of the boobs at a confused male patient can get them to stop swinging.

    That Holidays are NOT Really important unless your management, at which point you are entitled to the whole week off between Xmas and New Years and your not to be disturbed on major holidays.

    That the definition of nurse is maid,servant,and slave in every language.

    That there is an evil spirit of IV pumps whose sole purpose is to drive you nuts and make you curse the day you became a nurse.

    That thoughts of vacations and time off plans will become a form of relaxation.

    That anything that does not get stuck in the trachea is edible to a psych patient.

    That family members who have not visited Aunt Agnes for YEARS will suddenly have opinions on her care when she is on Hospice.

    That nurses run the other way when the Student Nurses arrive on the floor with their Instructor(was a nursing student/now a nurse and can't help but join others ).

    That little kids/old people and all gastro pts can all projectile vomit like the Exorcist(watch for the green gills):trout:

    That when a nurse tells you in report that patient B is not that bad, they LIED!

    That putting water into a cup on your cart then pouring water into another cup for the crushed BC pill going into the peg tube of your patient then accidently drinking from the cup with the crushed BC pill in it will not kill you.(true story)

    And Finally, That if you don't have enough chocolate candy to share with everyone, then don't bring it to class(work).
  13. by   Daywalker
    That so-called "incompatable with life" BS values aren't so incompatable after all

    That the isolation pt will need multiple blood draws and ECG's each day of his/her stay

    That you need a football team to hold down a toddler for a blood draw

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