The nurses amongst us can relate to this:
Q: Did you hear about the nurse who died and went
straight to hell?
A: It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn't at
work anymore!
You know you're a nurse if.....
You believe every patient needs TLC:
Thorazine,
Lorazepam and
Compazine.
You would like to meet the inventor of the call
bell in a dark alley one night.
You believe not all patients are annoying...some are
unconscious.
Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped"
each year.
You know the phone numbers of every late night
food delivery place in town by heart.
You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.
When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?",
you show them your shoes.
Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because
of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines
he is dispensing you than he can.
You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than
wait for pharmacy to deliver.
You refuse to watch the T.V. program ER because it's too much like
the real thing and triggers "flash backs."
You check the Caller ID when the phone rings on
your day off to see if someone from the hospital is
trying to call to ask you to work.
You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had
someone at another table throw up.
You notice that you use more four letter words now.
Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can
find at least three of them on you.
You can intubate your friends at parties.
You don't get excited about blood loss...unless
it's your own.
You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the
battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."
You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a
Toomey syringe.
You've told a confused patient your name was that of
your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.
Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is
perfectly natural.
Your bladder can expand to the same size as a
Winnebago's water tank.
When checking the level of orientation of a patient,
you aren't sure of the answer.
You find yourself checking out other customer's
arm veins in grocery waiting lines.
You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria
table during dinner, break, sitting up and not be
embarrassed when you wake up.
You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for
fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do
CPR on your day off.
You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE"
tattooed on your chest.
:roll :roll :roll
