The Chicken and The Road ANSWERED!

  1. With time on my hands this AM, I found a pretty funny website

    Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

    KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
    To get to the other side.

    PLATO:
    For the greater good.

    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

    KARL MARX:
    It was a historical inevitability.

    TIMOTHY LEARY:
    Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

    SADDAM HUSSEIN:
    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    RONALD REAGAN:
    I forget.

    CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    HIPPOCRATES:
    Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

    LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
    The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

    MOSES:
    And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road". And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

    FOX MULDER:
    You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

    RICHARD M. NIXON:
    The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

    MACHIAVELLI:
    The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

    JERRY SEINFELD:
    Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

    FREUD:
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES:
    I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

    OLIVER STONE:
    The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

    DARWIN:
    Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

    EINSTEIN:
    Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

    BUDDHA:
    Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

    RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
    The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die. In the rain.

    MICHAEL SCHUMACHER:
    It was an instinctive maneuver, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.

    COLONEL SANDERS:
    I missed one?

    BILL CLINTON:
    "I did not have an improper relationship with that chicken."
    •  
  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   jnette
    :chuckle Col. Sanders had the best anwer !!! :chuckle
  4. by   jemommyRN
    I liked the Louis Farrakhan one. They were all funny :chuckle
  5. by   jemommyRN
    kmchugh, i sent you a pm
  6. by   VivaLasViejas
    I loved this!! I'm gonna print it out and post it on the bulletin board at work. Thanks for the laughs, Kevin!
  7. by   nurseygrrl
    Very funny...and witty too...my favorite kind of humor!
  8. by   nursebedlam
    :chuckle good stuff
  9. by   Chibi Baka
    hehe i love it! very funny ^_^!
  10. by   Star Trek Nerd
    I have been looking for this everywhere! I saw it like a year ago. Thanks!:chuckle
  11. by   FranEMTnurse
    Good stuff! I like the HIPPOCRATES and the COLONEL SANDERS ones the best, but they were all good.:chuckle
  12. by   nekhismom
    TOo funny!
  13. by   Token Male
    For Star Trek Nerd
    Search Chicken Jokes with star trek on your search engine and get the "Enterprise " point of view. ALL forty pages of them- from Kirk to Archer and the 24th century.
  14. by   KIWIRN
    age old answers, enjoyed them thanks for sharing them

close