Stupid things that nurses say - page 14

by OnlybyHisgraceRN | 71,745 Views | 141 Comments

I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid. Long story short: My... Read More


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    Oh the many I have, Here are a few...

    As a CNA I had a walkie-talkie pt that I assisted to get ready to shower. At this particular hospital we had two-bed rooms with only two pt showers located at either end of the hall. last I saw this pt, he was walking into the shower room with a Johnnie on. Cut to a few hours later I am looking for him to do vitals. Couldn't find him in his room or the hallway. Walk into the patient/family patio where there is a physical therapist and a student working on a patient and a man sitting in the recliner watching t.v.
    Me 'are you so-n-so?'
    Pt: 'yes'
    Me 'oh! you look different with your clothes on!' *blush* 'Oh'

    As a new R.N assessing a pt with a high blood pressure, mentor suggests that I take the B.P. manually in both arms for comparison to which I reply 'at the same time?' *slap*

    Again, as a new R.N working nights, had a terrible night with 3 out of my 5 pt assignment having high bp's, one with hypotension and a confused pt. Called the doctor (who is notoriuous for not giving a med or txment if it is suggested to him - it has to be his 'idea') multiple times during the shift for something to bring the bp down in one of my pts and he refused to give me a new order. (not sure his reasoning). Anyway, confused pt falls, and as I am doing the paperwork, not 1 hr later the pt with hypertension (190's/90-100) seizes and we had to call rapid response as she stopped breathing for a few minutes. Low-and-behold the Dr. finally orders an antihypertensive. Cut to me giving report about my horrendous night: 'And you know how it is with Dr. z! Its like pulling teeth to get what you need out of him!' cue physician walking by...D'oh!

    Okay last one! 4 years later working in ICU with a LOL who is Full Code with a feeding tube and Prone to dysphagia. Pt wanted something to drink andI got permission fromthe M.D to give her a wet but VERY wrung out sponge stick to wet her mouth. Well it got to the point where we were doing it to wet her mouth every two minutes and she was beginning to cough! So I kindly informed her that we would only be doing in sponges every 30 min to 1 hr. I had created a monster! Pt would ring, of course I had informed everyone of the plan, if anyone said no to her she would ring while you were in the room for a second opinion! after all day of dealing with the pt like this, I went into the room and very loudly proclaimed 'you're goingto die if I give you another sponge!' (meaning she was going to aspirate), totally came out wrong!
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    I have a terrible habit of saying "That drives me CRAZY!" Since I work in mental health, this is NOT the best thing to say!

    Something stupid I've had to do - I have a tattoo on my wrist. Our admin goes back and forth between thinking they are ok to show and not ok to show. When we are on the "not ok" kick, I cover it with a bandaid or a piece of coban. EVERY single time I do this I get asked "are you a cutter?" by a client.
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    One time I was spelling a patient's name to a MD over the phone and he wasn't able to understand me. I proceeding with the whole, "C, as in cat," thing. When I got to "D" I said, "D, as in darn it." Apparently, I was getting frustrated. It seemed funnier at the time, my coworkers were cracking up.
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    Once, while working in a behavior unit with attempted suicide pts, I made a comment like, WOW, If I don't get what I want for my birthday, I oughta just kill myself..... duh.......
  5. 0
    Quote from mds1
    once, while working in a behavior unit with attempted suicide pts, i made a comment like, wow, if i don't get what i want for my birthday, i oughta just kill myself..... duh.......
    now that's a ooops! lol
  6. 0
    Quote from bbuerke
    I walk into my patient's room. <Sniff>

    Me: "Something smells good in here. Did someone bring you Bojangles?"

    Patient and family break into peals of laughter.

    Patient looks at me sheepishly: "I farted..."


    That is HILARIOUS!!!! I was dying laughing, I had to show my husband ( who LOVES Bojangles) lol
  7. 0
    this is great
  8. 1
    These are making me laugh so much!! It makes me think of the time me and a nurse was changing a butt dressing on a quad pt. fixing to roll the pt on his side I asked him if he would reach over and grab the side rail!!!! I wanted to crawl under the bed! Thank God he had a good sense of humor
    wooh likes this.
  9. 0
    Quote from brianal82
    These are making me laugh so much!! It makes me think of the time me and a nurse was changing a butt dressing on a quad pt. fixing to roll the pt on his side I asked him if he would reach over and grab the side rail!!!! I wanted to crawl under the bed! Thank God he had a good sense of humor
    Don't despair I did the same, many moons ago...Aloha~
  10. 2
    During my tour of nursing home Hell, I had 2 patients sharing a room who I'm pretty sure had some kind of undiagnosed psych issue. One became hysterical while I was in the room, and the other's issue fed off of that." It took 20 hair-raising minutes to calm both of them down.

    I knew they shouldn't be in a room together, and I was at the end of my rope. I marched to the nurse's station and oh-so-professionally said "Those women are out of their **** minds, they're feeding off of each other, and they need to be separated!" I also charted it, less colorfully.
    Hygiene Queen and wooh like this.


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