Silly random nursing thoughts, one sentence, NO JUDGMENTAL FOLKS ALLOWED

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Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!

Fomite is my new favorite word because it sounds like a sandwich spread.

We had a float nurse that brought her lunch to work in a Abercrombie bag. It was neck to (very low) waistline. Brightened our night!

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

If your wife has decided to leave you, don't stand in front of her truck. Have you SEEN how big a chest tube is?

The more people that come to the bedside, a) the more they've ignored this poor soul and are now feeling guilty, or b) the more money they think they're going to get when she dies.

If you tell me how to do my job one more time from your fast wealth of knowledge that you have gained by watching Greys and looking things up on WebMD, I'm going to have the patient D/C'd right into your house.

No we are are not killing your dad with "chemicals" we are trying to remove the 3 pounds of tylenol he took trying to get away from all of you blood sucking leeches.

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Specializes in Ortho Med\Surg.

Night shift: "We attempted to straight cath her 4 times with no urine resulting; however, bladder scan shows 788 ml of fluid."

At next change of shift: "We straight cathed into the correct orifice and drained 1000 ml of urine."

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Specializes in nursing education.

If you accompanied your wife to a doc appointment where she found out that you had given her chlamydia, why did you then go to the ER to get tested? And, I really hope they got the result via urethral swab, rather than letting you get away with just whizzing into a cup.

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The tubing for GT feeds has a huge label on it that says NOT FOR IV.

I wonder if someone out there has made that mistake and that's why that label is there.

*shuddering*

The label has to be there for a reason, which scares me... lol

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Specializes in Med Surg.

Nursing is one of the few occupations where coming upon a naked guy results not in an "OMG, I'm being flashed" reaction, but a "So, whatcha doing?" The correct answer: "I'm looking for my pants." Um, OK. How about we sit down first? :)

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Specializes in everywhere.
Or Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust?" ;)

Just came across this thread, but this is the same exact thing some of us would say. LOL Love it

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It's quite frustrating to end your day with what should be an easy task and FAILING at it, for example, cathing a BOY and feeling like you hit an old man's prostate....

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Specializes in Psych.

This isnt Mardi Gras, I dont have any beads, You do not need to flash me for your medications. ( I did say this to a male pt last night, he found the humor in my statement.

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

What on god's green earth did you use to put in your mom's dentures, super glue? I have got to get these things out before her EGD, and I think I'm going to need a jackhammer and possibly some C-5.

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What on god's green earth did you use to put in your mom's dentures, super glue? I have got to get these things out before her EGD, and I think I'm going to need a jackhammer and possibly some C-5.

Be careful, back in my days as a nursing home CNA, I was trying to get an old lady's dentures out, turns out she didn't wear dentures. 90 something with BEAUTIFUL teeth that I thought had to be fake. :)

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Specializes in School Nursing.
I have decided to refrain from making any work-yeast / jarred yeast comparisons...

Thank you ;)

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