Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 53

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   Hygiene Queen
    I used to work in a LTC. We had a pt who was dying. Her daughter asked if she could spend the night in the empty bed in the pt's room. We said "no problem".
    Unfortunately, we had an aide who started our 3-11 shift late. She missed report. Come 10:00p rounds, she went ahead of me into the dying pt's room.
    I heard a loud "BOO!" a scream and a lot of laughing.
    The poor aide didn't know the daughter was sleeping in the other bed. The aide bent down over the daughter to "check" her thinking she was a new admit she hadn't met.
    Well, the daughter sprung up and scared the doo-hickey out of the aide.
    I found the daughter laughing her butt off and the aide clutching her chest and panting.
    I laughed sooo hard... after I figured out what happened.
    The aide thought it was funny, but felt a little embarrassed.
    The daughter apologized and said she couldn't resist. It was a stress-buster for her, I guess.
    That family was goofy anyway!
    Last edit by Hygiene Queen on Aug 27, '08 : Reason: left out important word to understand story
  2. by   dina77
    Quote from nocalmomo
    This supposedly happened around L.A. in the early part of my nursing experiences, early 1970's. An elderly LOL, in a SNF, trying to "help" had been brushing patients dentures for them. However, she had collected ALL the patients dentures & what happened after that is still a mystery!
    This story reminds me of the time a care worker on nights was told to clean patients dentures. She collected them all up washed them before realizing she hadn't a clue whose teeth were whose! All the patients in the morning were trying all the teeth out to see which fit. I think nowadays there would be some big complaints going on if that happend now!
  3. by   lpnflorida
    Years ago I worked with a very good aide. He was good to his patients,went above and beyond many a time. At the end of one shift he was reporting off to his nurse. I said he was very thorough,he gave the longest most descriptive report of the bowel movement one of the patient had. I swear it was 5 minutes in the reporting of said bowel movement. That forever more we would laugh with him as we recalled what we all referred to as " The Feces Thesis"
  4. by   baxtersmomRN
    Had to reply to this thread!
    It was not long ago that I had a pt who was admitted for cellulitis of the lower leg. (actually it was right behind the knee under the skin fold) My pt was extremely obese (480+lbs) and the skin folds were so tight in that area. She could get around pretty well, but it was painful to bear weight on that left leg. So she got up to the unit and I admitted her and checked out the area behind her knee. She was able to stand up, and I had reinforcements there just in case. I raised the bed as high as it would go and she was able to stand and bend over the bed so I could get a better look at the area. So here I am crouched down behind my pt with my head right at the butt level, trying to lift the skin to see this infected area.
    Next thing I know, I heard her say "uh-oh" and before I could react, she blew the biggest fart I had ever heard (or felt) right in my face. I mean, I felt a breeze against my cheek even! She then says, "whew, I really had to make some wind!"
    I'm just glad she didn't give me a 2-for-1 deal on that one! That would have been a major code brown!
  5. by   dina77
    Yeah, you had a lucky escape from what the older people call over here a 'follow through':chuckle
  6. by   gdeanrn
    Learned a good lesson but it was funny...

    I work 12 hour nights at a hospital and my 96 year old uncle had fallen and broken his hip and was taken to another hospital across town. His fall was on Saturday and he had surgery on Monday, but at his age, by Monday afternoon, they had to Narcan him and transfer him to the acute care unit. Working long nights, I didn't have a chance to go in until Thursday morning. When I got there at mid morning, he was laying flat on his back with his eyes closed and PT and OT were on either side of his bed, trying to get him up out of bed and since he wasn't responding, the nurse was drawing up Narcan, thinking that was the next step.
    Now, his name is John Richard, but he has always been called Dick. On the name board in the room, they had his name as John, and PT and OT were calling him John. I simply stated they might have better luck if they called him Dick. Upon hearing me say his name, he immediately opend his eyes and looked at me and said HI. I said hi and asked how he was and he preceeded to tell me pretty good, but he missed my aunts cooking.
    I then told him from across the room that they were trying to get him to sit up on the side of the bed. He simply said Oh, and without hesitation, he sat up and twisted without help so that his legs were over the side of the bed. Apparently, they thought his room mates name was John and they kept bumping him while trying to get his room mate up.
    A simple lesson to remind me to ask my patients what they like to be called and not to assume it's their first name, or a derivative thereof.
  7. by   stumpy1
    Are we making the assumption that when we make fun of those we care for, we are better than they are? Christ only heals when we are humble and meet every patients needs as a servant. Not with arrogance or with lewd remarks. I have always ignored any comment that started with "Oh, you're a nurse, you must of heard this one." I apologize to any patient I have cared for in the 33 years I have been an RN if I have demeaned them in any way. KSH
  8. by   grace90
    Quote from stumpy1
    Are we making the assumption that when we make fun of those we care for, we are better than they are? Christ only heals when we are humble and meet every patients needs as a servant. Not with arrogance or with lewd remarks. I have always ignored any comment that started with "Oh, you're a nurse, you must of heard this one." I apologize to any patient I have cared for in the 33 years I have been an RN if I have demeaned them in any way. KSH
    :deadhorse

    and that's all I got to say about that...
    Last edit by grace90 on Sep 10, '08 : Reason: still irritated but don't want to start a war...
  9. by   nrsang97
    Quote from stumpy1
    Are we making the assumption that when we make fun of those we care for, we are better than they are? Christ only heals when we are humble and meet every patients needs as a servant. Not with arrogance or with lewd remarks. I have always ignored any comment that started with "Oh, you're a nurse, you must of heard this one." I apologize to any patient I have cared for in the 33 years I have been an RN if I have demeaned them in any way. KSH

    No we aren't demeaning them. Sometimes something is just funny!

    I agree with grace.
  10. by   babyjr
    I also have this funniest moment at the CCU. I have a patient who is very thirsty. We can't give him water because he was on NPO. All we could offer was to wet his lips with cotton balls soaked in water. Eventually, he can't take it anymore. And to my surprise, he drank the suction bottle full of secretions!!!! It was very disgusting!!! We ran towards him to stop what he's doing.
  11. by   winsteadcm
    Quote from southern rn
    I had an old alcoholic man one night with lots of tattoos, across each butt cheek he had one word "the end ". i was also told by other staff he had a tattoo on his manhood, I made it my goal for the night to NOT know what that tattoo was! I sure hope ever who his tattoo artist was, he was well paid

    i just recently had a 40 yr old, 397 lb patient. she was very nice and could get around well. the first morning i had her, she called me in to help her wash her back. when she leaned up, i saw something i've never seen before. a tattoo of a penis. large and very life like. veins, scrotum and all. it was almost a foot long, pointing downward, and positioned right in the middle of her lower back. the lowest part of the tattoo was about 1 cm from her crack.
  12. by   FlBaylorNurse
    I recently had to send a confused (alt/dem) pt out to the hospital after she fell to be checked. A few hours later, transport brought her back to the unit. She had been drugged heavily in the ER with anti psychotics and pain meds and was sleeping very peacefully on the stretcher. As she passed by me and another pt (also very confused), in the hallway, the pt in the hall with me said to me "See, they did her right. When you are white, they are supposed to put on the white powder. When you are brown, they are supposed to use the brown powder. They didn't do my brother right. He was white and they put the brown powder on him." I leaned over to her and said "Hon, she is only sleeping."
  13. by   southernbeegirl
    My first job was on a tiny SNF unit. We had the sweetest woman, Mabel. pleasantly confused and just a little country woman. One day I walked into her room and she was sitting on the side of her bed obviously upset. When I asked her what was wrong, nothing could prepare me for her reply. "i'm pregnant and don't know who the father is". mabel was in her 80s! she began to cry, telling me she didnt know how she was going to tell her kids. I said "your kids? mabel how are we going to tell your GRANDkids?" she began to cry more. This went on for 3 days. We finally had to get the doc to do a physical and "pregnancy test" on her and declare her not pregnant. and it worked!

    she fired us all one night too. she fired us because we had let boys in the house and we left the porch light on and she couldnt afford that electric bill. we wore our keys around our neck on a chain at that facility. she said for me to take those keys from around my neck and go home, that she wasnt paying me anymore. then she told me to send the other girls in to see her. one by one all the staff went in and she fired every single one of us, lol

close