Nursing School Bloopers

OK - here's mine. I had a pt who was admitted for complications of IV drug use - won't get into specifics, but it was a big deal and he was hospitalized for a long, long time. I had heard that he was grumpy, to put it nicely, so I was trying desperately to think of things to say to him to prevent him from grumping at me.

I went in to give him a SQ injection, and while I was prepping things, just to make conversation, I went ON and ON asking him if he was afraid of needles. DUH. I have no idea what caused that brain fart, but as soon as I realized it, I felt like the worlds biggest idiot.

And for the record, he said he's not.

I nearly did this to my clinical instructor today! But, it would have been with lubricant. As I'm fighting with this package and trying, oh so hard, to not squirt it all over her, she turns to the patient and calmly informs them that if I squirt her with that package, I flunk for the day! That statement really made the patients day! Never mind the fact that the instructor and I were already wearing gowns because of the potential for splashing (straight cath on obese female who can't always hold legs up, when they come down on your container of urine ). And yes, I missed the instructor with the lubricant and I passed for the day!

Here's one of my many stories..

My class was second semester LPN students and we were on LTC rotation. One of my classmates had to insert a foley on a female patient that was a double AKA. The patient was a difficult patient that often was violent with the staff. Needless to say, my classmate was alittle nervous. We were all in there, and my classmate had all the supplies ready. She explained to the patient was she was about to do and patient became irate. She calmed down alittle bit when the primary nurse came in. SO, my classmate proceeded to insert the cath, with my instructor on one side of the patient and the primary nurse on the other side, holding a flashlight to help visualize the meatus. As soon as my classmate inserts the foley into the meatus, (see was doing pretty good job by the way for how nervous she looked) the patient started flailing her stumps and kicked my instructor right in the face!!!!! The patient then said, "Yeah, these stumps can still kick a**!!! An explosion of laughter built up inside me and I had to leave to room. My side almost split from laughter.

All I could think was,....."I did not wish this on the instructor, I did not wish this on the instructor...." No matter if she DID grill me for 30 min at the med cart!!!! LOL
P.S. The instructor was really a nice lady and did not deserve to be kicked in the face. I could have picked other instructors that might have deserved it more. Just kidding!!!!!

Here's blooper on my part.

I had a patient with left lobectomy. He was in for pneumonia. I was auscultating on the left side for lung sounds. The patient said, "Do you hear anything?" I said, "Yes, you sound like you have crackles and wheezes on this side." He replied, "Hmmm, I dont see how seeing that I dont have a lung on this side!" I was pretty embarrased. My instructor later told me that what I was hearing was adventitious sounds from the right lung. LOL. Sheesh...

These are great! lol

Back in the "old days" the military and EMT-P instructors used to teach you to pull a cap by holding it in your teeth! (now considered a )

Well, here I am fresh out of the service, working as a lab vampire. I go into a pts. room to draw am labs, get my equip ready and stick the capped sharp in between my teeth to uncap it. Sometimes a little extra plastic is holding the cap on..... you can see where this is going. A hard yank pulled the needle free of the cap and a reflexive backlash drove the 18ga 2" sharp all the way through my lower lip: blood rushing out all over me and the pts. floor.

Needless to say, to this day, I am darned careful uncapping sharps and have NEVER used my teeth to do so again!

As I'm not officially a nursing student yet...... I might not even make it into the program after they find out what an idiot I am. My youngest sister delivered at a Major Hospital in Toledo 2 weeks ago. About 3 a.m. and 20 hours into labor(yeah I'm a moron that stayed the whole time) I was zoning. My daughter wants some ice water(yeah I brought my dd with me to stay up all night for this wonderful event)... so I ask at the nursing station where at least 5 of them are sitting with my sisters OB(I didn't know that was who she was I hadn't seen her et. LOL) So I ask to see if we can get some ice water. They pointed me in the direction of the ice/water machine and told me have at it. They might have wanted to include directions. There were pitchers and cups and the perfect ice round small ice pellets. Oh that is the best part of the hospital I swear. LOL. Anyway I digress..... I see these pitchers and these foam things to line the pitcher. So I get a few cups and the pitcher and get a foam thing. I push the foam thing into the pitcher and it only goes part way and CROOKED to boot. I was so upset I'm thinking what is the trick to this damn thing. I worked at it forever and with NO LUCK I filled the foam thing with ice and water and carried it to the nurses station and said WHAT IS THE TRICK TO THIS STUPID THING. LOL. Yeah well I got the idiot of the year award. They were dying. I guess the trick is the foam goes on the outside. WHO KNEW????????

Nice to hear that your instructor didint mind of the small mistakes, thats okey, now you know she can make you laugh instead of being nervous all the time...Cool!!!

I was observing a (TEE) Transesophageal echocardiogram.

We were waiting for the Doctor who was late who would be doing the procedure. There were two nurses and an anesthesiologist preparing the patient, getting him comfortable etc. And then there was me, the student asking questions.

Dr. walks in, looks over chart and begins talking to the patient.

Pt. not responding. Dr. yells out to Anesth. "Why did you put him under?" I haven't gotten consent yet!!!!! Anesth. says, "Well we were waiting for you and you were late!" She says, "You can't put him under without his consent!!! I'm the MD here!! For about three minutes the egos go back and forth and then I said, "Can't you get consent from the wife? She's out in the waiting room" They both looked at me and they said Ok, that's what we'll do. Not that this would have stood up in court, but it was one way to get it done.......Here they were trying to get him back from anesthesia just to get his signature - that wasn't working and taking too long....HB

Fresh out of school and here are 2 of my favorites:
1) During Respiratory rotation, called into a delivery because of fear for the baby, turns out it was well founded as he needed immediate attention upon delivery. (amazing to watch Respiratory, RN and pediatrician working on the baby - he came out great). After going with baby up to OB stopped off to see my instructor (she was out) so I told my classmate about this amazing care of a baby with an Apgar of 3.......and went back to respiratory. After clinicals in our post conference, my instructor said....What was that babies Apgar again? And I said "3", she then told me that my classmate had told them I had a baby with an Apgar of 30........LOL, they laughed SO hard because she really thought I said 30!!

2) At the end of a 12hr clinical (3rd in a row), I was talking to my instructor about a patient we were just with who had GI bleed. I asked her why blood was backing up in the IV line.....and as soon as I said it realized how DUMB that question was.....he was getting a blood transfusion and I KNEW this because I was just in the lab when they were getting the blood ready for him.........DUH DUH DUH.....the look on her face was priceless......