Nurses Humor
Published Feb 25, 2002
frann
251 Posts
The nurses amongst us can relate to this:
Q: Did you hear about the nurse who died and went
straight to hell?
A: It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn't at
work anymore!
You know you're a nurse if.....
You believe every patient needs TLC:
Thorazine,
Lorazepam and
Compazine.
You would like to meet the inventor of the call
bell in a dark alley one night.
You believe not all patients are annoying...some are
unconscious.
Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped"
each year.
You know the phone numbers of every late night
food delivery place in town by heart.
You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.
When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?",
you show them your shoes.
Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because
of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines
he is dispensing you than he can.
You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than
wait for pharmacy to deliver.
You refuse to watch the T.V. program ER because it's too much like
the real thing and triggers "flash backs."
You check the Caller ID when the phone rings on
your day off to see if someone from the hospital is
trying to call to ask you to work.
You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had
someone at another table throw up.
You notice that you use more four letter words now.
Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can
find at least three of them on you.
You can intubate your friends at parties.
You don't get excited about blood loss...unless
it's your own.
You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the
battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."
You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a
Toomey syringe.
You've told a confused patient your name was that of
your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.
Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is
perfectly natural.
Your bladder can expand to the same size as a
Winnebago's water tank.
When checking the level of orientation of a patient,
you aren't sure of the answer.
You find yourself checking out other customer's
arm veins in grocery waiting lines.
You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria
table during dinner, break, sitting up and not be
embarrassed when you wake up.
You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for
fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do
CPR on your day off.
You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE"
tattooed on your chest.
:roll :roll :roll
NurseDennie, BSN, RN
723 Posts
Those are great!! I told everybody I was going to have the name of a "certain" neurosurgeon tattoo'd on my chest with the big red international "NO" symbol through it!
Love
Dennie
nursedawn67, LPN
1,046 Posts
Brownms46
1 Article; 2,394 Posts
Just tooo funny!
ALL that apply to me::roll :roll :roll
you show them your shoes. (actually happened one time)
of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets
your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help. Your bladder can expand to the same size as a
Thanks Frann for taking the time to post this..
dawngloves, BSN, RN
2,399 Posts
Hey! Get outta my brain!!!
Paprikat
216 Posts
This was totally funny!:roll
aus nurse
198 Posts
Very funny Fran, thanks. I've taken these to work and everyone loves them. Thanks for the laugh, we sure need them.
CATHYW
564 Posts
Oh, boy, do I like these!:chuckle
I feel like someone wrote the story of my life!:roll
SharkLPN
109 Posts
Love it! :chuckle
But question - What is a Toomey syringe? None of my co-workers could figure that one out.
Peeps Mcarthur
1,018 Posts
LOL!
DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE!.........NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!..............Like in one of those slow motion nightmares as your spouse reflexively rushes to the phone.
LOL!.........Telophobia!
Everytime a phone rings. Regardless of your location. In a mall. At the beach. On vacation.
A short of schizoprhenic involuntary spasm of irrational fear.
Happened for years after I worked at any hospital....seriousely........ha ha LOL!:roll
Originally posted by SharkLPN Love it! :chuckle But question - What is a Toomey syringe? None of my co-workers could figure that one out.
Here is a pic of one....I'm sure you have seen it before.
Thanks Brownie! That's pretty much what we thought a Toomey syringe looked like.
I've seen similar 60 cc syringes with cath tips, but the blunt tip and needle hub are new to me. What is it normally used for?