It's Hard to Live with a Nurse because....

Nurses Humor

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Please feel free to add more as you like. This is for all the spouses and loved ones of nurses.......

ENJOY

1) When you forget to flush the toilet, you get a complete analysis with a plan on how to correct any noted problems.

2) Thanksgiving dinner comes in pre-cut small pieces because he/she doesn't want to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver and be reminded of work on the only holiday he's/she's had off in years.

3) You've been awakened from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to find him/her shaking you because your breathing patterns were a little too close to a Cheyne-Stokes rhythm.

i have a chart on every one of my kids..complete with nursing notes and wound care charts.. of course since i have 6 kids now things have kind of slipped but there was a time my kids got daily assessments. once i had to go to court over a abuse situation concerning my daughter. i brought her "chart " to court and layed it down told him her was her "chart" and he could review it ..lol he said "did the doctors office give this to you".... uhhh no this is her home medical record...lol i know he was thinking ..what the hell!!!!

omg you have to private message me with how you did it lol thats awesome. (i'm very ocd when it comes to things like this, this would give me something to obsess about lol)

After having my first c/s my mom made the mistake of asking how my scar was doing. Well I raised up my gown and showed her. She closed her eyes and said "I didn't ask to see it." I said "Why everyone else that comes in her looks at it, and they aren't family." Needless to say since that one she says "I don't want to see it, but is you scar doing ok." after each of my previous surgeries.

My 2 sil, mil and I are nurses and we would talk about things we saw or done, and my husband would turn pale and look like he was just about to pass out when he would yell "would ya'll shut up talking about that." He's better now that he is on our Volunteer fire department and they are also first responders. So he's been to a many vehicle accidents so now I get to ask he "what did you see?!"

Specializes in M/S, SNU, Office, and Private Duty.

Im a 4th gen nurse, my husband is an EMT, my father was an EMT, my only cousin on my father's side is a nurse, along with both great aunts on my father's side. So Family dinners can get extremely grotesque at times. My husband and I compare notes on our days and sometimes compare how we would handle situations in our respective fields of practice.

When I was in pharmacy school, I was telling my communications major roommate about the very interesting lecture we had that day, about sexually transmitted diseases.

"They showed us pictures of this orifice with sores all over it....." She nearly :barf01: while I ate my dinner, and then I said, "Hey, at least I didn't have to take that picture!"

:chuckle

I'll never forget the picture of the man whose nasal septum had been eaten away by syphilis, and they stuck a dental scaler thingie through the hole. :eek:

This roommate had a friend who was a x-ray tech at an ER in a nearby hospital, and was always calling her up and telling stories about things people had stuck up themselves. Even in those pre-HIPAA days, I told her that this was not a good idea.

Specializes in LTC.

Nice foot massages tend to end their niceness when the comment "You have really strong pedal pulses" is made.

Specializes in ob; nicu.

If My Kids Get "boo Boo's" My Initial Response Is, If There's Not A Bone Protruding Or Bleeding From Your Eyes, Then Get Yourself A Band-aid. I Know I'm Proud To Be Mother Of The Year!!!!!

Specializes in LPN, Peds, Public Health.
You don't get a lot of sympathy for minor illnesses and injuries. A nurse's perception of "minor" is probably not the same as yours. In other words, bones sticking out or lots of blood might be necessary before you get much attention.

You may not be able to watch medical dramas with a nurse.She or he may really annoy you by yelling at the TV. "Oh, come ON! I've never seen a doctor do that!" "Somebody put the siderails up, for crying out loud!"

You really wil not want to discuss your nurse's work over dinner!

I totally agree with this ! Especially the TV part!

Specializes in Home Care, Hospice, OB.

my husband says he'd just once like to hold hands without my taking his pulse, .....or.....tell me his back hurts without me asking him to rate the pain, decribe what makes it better/worse, and throwing ice packs on him while shoveling advil down his throat.:redbeathe

Specializes in LPN, Peds, Public Health.

I can't help but evaluate everyone's veins... whether I know them or not. We can be out shopping and I might look and say.."I would LOVE to start an IV on that person!" I'm sure that gets annoying. I also have to analyze anything anyone says to me medically, but something that annoys me is everyone calling and asking me questions. I don't mind the regular questions but when you call and ask "hey my kid has a rash what do you think it is? uhhh it could be a lot of things! I also have a dear friend who will call and ask "hey so&so just hurt his hand will you come over and see if its broken?" Sure thing... let me get my x-ray goggles out!

I feel sorry for my poor Mother when we have family dinners since between my brother and I conversations seem to go something like "I saw brain fluid being drained" "Well I found two dead bodies this week"... I'm a nursing student, younger brother is a cop and to make things worse my Dad is a retired paramedic that chimes in with his own stories...

Although having grown up with Dads stories over dinner did gain me a reputation as the nursing student with the best gross stories to tell

Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

My favorite way to deal with a cousins squabble at an extended family get-together isn't to try to sort out who did what, as my sis in law and bro in law tend to do. I poke my head in, be sure everyone's breathing, and tell them to call me if there's blood, a lot of it.

My oldest daughter seems to always bump into something or stub her toe or whatever every time she gets upset, and then sits and mopes and cries until she gets sympathy. She gets a glance over, and a "you're fine, quit being a drama queen".

Specializes in Burn, CCU, CTICU, Trauma, SICU, MICU.

i gave my poor boyfriend a sternal rub the other night.... he came home from a night of drinking with the boys and was snoring - he never ever snores, so i repositioned his head and opened up his airway, nothing helped. i nudged him to roll over, nothing. i starting talking to him, nothing. he usually is a very very light sleeper. so i shook him, got nothing! that man got a firm sternal rub (my own hr was high, i was starting to get really worried!) -- that woke him up!!!

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