Funny things you have said but wish you didn't

How dare them not give you a Whopper!!
I hope you let them have it on that Press-Gainey survey....oh wait, that's right. McDonalds is much smarter than hospitals and does not kill trees in the name of such foolishness.

At LTC facility I worked at, we would give the marketers made up names, and wait for the mail to roll in under that name.....One time the Administrator said that the person she needed to talk to was named Margret Sniffles, the office manager took the call, and was sniffling the whole time she was talking to them, then she ended the call by saying she had to go cuz she needed to blow her nose. And believe it or not, Mrs Sniffles received a few peices of junk mail

Another fast food story...

I worked two part time jobs the first year out of high school, Burger King and one of those film developing places. The drive thru at BK was open until 3am on weekends. One weekend near the end of the shift, I answered the drive thru...

"Hi, welcome to Burger King, can I take your picture please?"

Given the time of the morning, the guy placing his order asked if I wanted that picture with or without clothes!

Fran, I often answer my phone, "house of beauty, this is cutie!" I usually get loud laughs.

i asked my pt last night if he knew what year it is; he replied, "1999"
to which i said, "no it is 2002"


may i adapt a saying my husband likes and say... when orrienting a confused pt make sure he is not equally needing to orrient you!

When I was in high school I was working as a nurse's aid at our small town hospital. It was my job to go around and get everyone's vital signs and chart them. I walked inot one gentleman's room, said "Good Morning! I'm just here to grab your vitals" Wife was sitting at bedside and started laughing hysterically then she said " why don't you leave that to me honey!" I about died!


Then there was the time I was training a new nurse to our pediatric unit -- she had to call the doctor's office to set up a follow up visit for a patient in a couple of weeks post discharge as well as get some orders for some scripts to send home w/ pt. She got the doc on the phone, got the scripts and then said, and "when would you like the patient to f/u?" DEAD SILENCE at the nurses station AND the doctor's office -- it had to have been a full 10 seconds before she realized what she had said and then she quickly said " I mean of course, follow up with an office visit -- with you -- then she giggled and said the chart just has the letters F & U -- sorry!" At that point we were all cracking up and (thank goodness) so was the Doc. Took a LOOONG time for her to get over that one!!

While on night duty, at about 3 in the morning, one of our patients passed away. The charge siser had to call a porter to come and take the deceased to the morgue. She gave her name, and the patients name, and was very surprised to receive a rude comment and the phone put down in her ear. She was Sister Fox, and the patient, coincidently, was mr. Wolf...

I was working in technical support for a local internet service company, and after just getting off the phone with a very ride, very male-chauvinistic pig that didnt want to speak with a woman, but was being forced to because i refused to transfer him to a male tech as none were available, and while his computer was rebooting, took the time to relieve himself *like a race-horse*without even trying to hide the fact, i answered my next call with "thank you for calling *** internet, how may i hurt you?" to which the delighted customer replied "hell yea! and i just signed up!"