Funny things you have said but wish you didn't

missmercy · Jun 3, 2004

When I was in high school I was working as a nurse's aid at our small town hospital. It was my job to go around and get everyone's vital signs and chart them. I walked inot one gentleman's room, said "Good Morning! I'm just here to grab your vitals":stone Wife was sitting at bedside and started laughing hysterically then she said " why don't you leave that to me honey!":stone :stone I about died!

Then there was the time I was training a new nurse to our pediatric unit -- she had to call the doctor's office to set up a follow up visit for a patient in a couple of weeks post discharge as well as get some orders for some scripts to send home w/ pt. She got the doc on the phone, got the scripts and then said, and "when would you like the patient to f/u?" DEAD SILENCE at the nurses station AND the doctor's office -- it had to have been a full 10 seconds before she realized what she had said :imbar and then she quickly said " I mean of course, follow up with an office visit -- with you -- then she giggled and said the chart just has the letters F & U -- sorry!" :rotfl: At that point we were all cracking up and (thank goodness) so was the Doc. Took a LOOONG time for her to get over that one!!

Marisaej · Jun 3, 2004

While on night duty, at about 3 in the morning, one of our patients passed away. The charge siser had to call a porter to come and take the deceased to the morgue. She gave her name, and the patients name, and was very surprised to receive a rude comment and the phone put down in her ear. She was Sister Fox, and the patient, coincidently, was mr. Wolf...

EarthAngel · Jun 3, 2004

I was working in technical support for a local internet service company, and after just getting off the phone with a very ride, very male-chauvinistic pig that didnt want to speak with a woman, but was being forced to because i refused to transfer him to a male tech as none were available, and while his computer was rebooting, took the time to relieve himself *like a race-horse*without even trying to hide the fact, i answered my next call with "thank you for calling *** internet, how may i hurt you?" to which the delighted customer replied "hell yea! and i just signed up!" :uhoh21:

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jun 3, 2004

My sister, niece, and I used to wave at people when we were out together on a nice day to see how they reacted. One day we were on our way home from church when we spotted a man standing, facing his car parked on the shoulder of the road. We waved, he turned around, waved back with the one hand, and was holding his member in the other while urinating.:imbar :imbar :imbar That cured us!

IamRN · Jun 3, 2004

In this particular unit we usually gave a taped end of shift report, but it wasn't unusual to give an oral report, need be.

The one male nurse in the unit was due to tape. I found where he was and opened the door to the patients room and asked him, as he was holding the male patients "urethra" in his hand and ready to insert a foley cath, "Are you giving oral?" :uhoh21: :imbar :eek:

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jun 4, 2004

In this particular unit we usually gave a taped end of shift report, but it wasn't unusual to give an oral report, need be.
The one male nurse in the unit was due to tape. I found where he was and opened the door to the patients room and asked him, as he was holding the male patients "urethra" in his hand and ready to insert a foley cath, "Are you giving oral?" :uhoh21: :imbar

:rotfl: :rotfl: Did he answer you???

danaRN2b · Jun 4, 2004

I worked at Hardee's (fast food) when I was in high school. One shift, when I was working drive-through, a man ordered a hot fudge sundae. I asked him if he needed nuts..."No thanks, I already have some," he replied, without missing a beat. :imbar I'm blushing just recounting the story... :chuckle

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jun 4, 2004

I worked at Hardee's (fast food) when I was in high school. One shift, when I was working drive-through, a man ordered a hot fudge sundae. I asked him if he needed nuts..."No thanks, I already have some," he replied, without missing a beat. :imbar I'm blushing just recounting the story... :chuckle

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Good one.

mumhuff · Jun 4, 2004

A few years back when I worked in a Deli an elderly woman came in to order some meat and cheese trays. Instead of asking her if she wanted condiments with them I accidently said "condoms". :imbar

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jun 5, 2004

A few years back when I worked in a Deli an elderly woman came in to order some meat and cheese trays. Instead of asking her if she wanted condiments with them I accidently said "condoms". :imbar

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Did she look at you funny???? Har har har.!!!

rica75 · Jun 5, 2004

- When I worked in a posh hotel, a handsome guest came to the front desk to tell me he wanted to have the bathroom door removed to allow him to watch his wife take a bath and still be able to see the television. I thought he was being perverted, so after a pause I blushed and blurted helpfully, "Yes sir, I'll send the engineer up right away, and then just give me a call when you're ready so I can activate the adult movie channel in your room." He thanked me and left but never called. Later, after giggling about this to the engineer that removed the door, I found out the man wanted to watch the ball game, but his wife was very ill and needed supervision in the bathtub...:imbar
- At college on the first day of an advanced geography class we were talking about a desert in China...the Gobi. Later I raised my hand to ask a question, and called it the "Gumby" Desert. They teased me about it all semester.

OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT! I do allot of that. Totally understand!

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Jun 5, 2004

Offered a doctor some Reese's member instead of Reese's Pieces one time. He said "i don't know who Reese is, but i doubt he's willing to give that away. Besides, i have one of my own". Words do not express embarrassment of that level.