Funny things you have said but wish you didn't - page 4

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out. That remark started the... Read More

  1. by   FranEMTnurse
    My sister, niece, and I used to wave at people when we were out together on a nice day to see how they reacted. One day we were on our way home from church when we spotted a man standing, facing his car parked on the shoulder of the road. We waved, he turned around, waved back with the one hand, and was holding his penis in the other while urinating.:imbar :imbar :imbar That cured us!
  2. by   IamRN
    In this particular unit we usually gave a taped end of shift report, but it wasn't unusual to give an oral report, need be.

    The one male nurse in the unit was due to tape. I found where he was and opened the door to the patients room and asked him, as he was holding the male patients "urethra" in his hand and ready to insert a foley cath, "Are you giving oral?" :uhoh21: :imbar
  3. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from IamRN
    In this particular unit we usually gave a taped end of shift report, but it wasn't unusual to give an oral report, need be.

    The one male nurse in the unit was due to tape. I found where he was and opened the door to the patients room and asked him, as he was holding the male patients "urethra" in his hand and ready to insert a foley cath, "Are you giving oral?" :uhoh21: :imbar
    Did he answer you???
  4. by   danaRN2b
    I worked at Hardee's (fast food) when I was in high school. One shift, when I was working drive-through, a man ordered a hot fudge sundae. I asked him if he needed nuts..."No thanks, I already have some," he replied, without missing a beat. :imbar I'm blushing just recounting the story... :chuckle
  5. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from danaRN2b
    I worked at Hardee's (fast food) when I was in high school. One shift, when I was working drive-through, a man ordered a hot fudge sundae. I asked him if he needed nuts..."No thanks, I already have some," he replied, without missing a beat. :imbar I'm blushing just recounting the story... :chuckle
    Good one.
  6. by   mumhuff
    A few years back when I worked in a Deli an elderly woman came in to order some meat and cheese trays. Instead of asking her if she wanted condiments with them I accidently said "condoms". :imbar
  7. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from mumhuff
    A few years back when I worked in a Deli an elderly woman came in to order some meat and cheese trays. Instead of asking her if she wanted condiments with them I accidently said "condoms". :imbar
    Did she look at you funny???? Har har har.!!!
  8. by   rica75
    Quote from Star Trek Nerd
    - When I worked in a posh hotel, a handsome guest came to the front desk to tell me he wanted to have the bathroom door removed to allow him to watch his wife take a bath and still be able to see the television. I thought he was being perverted, so after a pause I blushed and blurted helpfully, "Yes sir, I'll send the engineer up right away, and then just give me a call when you're ready so I can activate the adult movie channel in your room." He thanked me and left but never called. Later, after giggling about this to the engineer that removed the door, I found out the man wanted to watch the ball game, but his wife was very ill and needed supervision in the bathtub...:imbar

    - At college on the first day of an advanced geography class we were talking about a desert in China...the Gobi. Later I raised my hand to ask a question, and called it the "Gumby" Desert. They teased me about it all semester.

    OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT! I do allot of that. Totally understand!
  9. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Offered a doctor some Reese's Penis instead of Reese's Pieces one time. He said "i don't know who Reese is, but i doubt he's willing to give that away. Besides, i have one of my own". Words do not express embarrassment of that level.
  10. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    Offered a doctor some Reese's Penis instead of Reese's Pieces one time. He said "i don't know who Reese is, but i doubt he's willing to give that away. Besides, i have one of my own". Words do not express embarrassment of that level.
    They definitely do.
  11. by   IamRN
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    Offered a doctor some Reese's Penis instead of Reese's Pieces one time. He said "i don't know who Reese is, but i doubt he's willing to give that away. Besides, i have one of my own". Words do not express embarrassment of that level.
  12. by   mumhuff
    Quote from Frances LeMay
    Did she look at you funny???? Har har har.!!!
    The poor woman turned all shades of red and politely answered " no thank-you, that won't be necessary">
  13. by   VivaLasViejas
    Once in a while, my mouth will fly open and let words out without first receiving permission from my brain.

    A few years ago, my sister and I were window-shopping downtown when, for some reason, I got onto this riff on pink flamingos......you know, the fake plastic ones people put in their yards........which to my way of thinking are on the same decorative plane with paintings of matadors on black velvet and lawn gnomes. "Besides," I went on, "flamingos have to be some of the stupidest creatures on earth---how intelligent is it to stand on one leg all the time??"

    Just then, I looked up and saw, only a few yards from me.......a man with one leg. :imbar

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