Funny things patients say ! - page 23

While working in the emergency room I was taking care of a 90 year old lady who came in by wheelchair from a local rest home. Her complaint was right leg swelling and we found an obvious deformity of... Read More

  1. by   sharpeimom
    Quote from T-Bird78
    Parent of an asthma pt (been dx for a couple of years, not a new dx), told nurse "albuterol ain't for asthma!" when doing med review.
    It ain't? Gee, I wonder why my aunt uses it for her asthma?! Maybe I should talk to
    her PCP....
  2. by   nursefrances
    Quote from Leonca
    A client with a little boy came in to get their dog vaccinated. The vet's 100lb Labrador retriever wandered up to check out the newcomers. The boy's eyes grew wide and he said, "Wow, look at the huge Beagle!"
    This reminds me of a little boy I screened in an eye clinic once. I was checking his vision. He couldn't read yet so we use Capital "E"s, called tumbling "E"s, they are turned on their side or with the legs pointing downward or to the left. So I made it a game and would tell kids that this was my friend "Mr. E" and I would ask the kids to show me with thir fingers, which way his legs were pointing.
    The cute little boy understood the concept and begin to show me which way with his hand. But with each new "letter" or change in direction of his hand he would say, "There-a-way......there-a-way!"

    He was so cute.
  3. by   sharpeimom
    NF, you cute little boy reminded me of a three-year-old in my family. He
    recently got glasses and commented on the home that everything was just where it belonged now.
  4. by   T-Bird78
    A parent called one day to complain that the child's teeth were falling out and getting loose, and it only started when pt started using their albuterol inhaler. Parent went on to complain that they couldn't find any info online about what to do for it! It was all we (parent called 3 different times to get the same answer from 3 different nurses) could do to keep a straight face and not laugh over the phone. Did I mention the child is 8--the age when they're in the middle of losing teeth anyway?! Several months go by and parent calls back, this time claiming the albuterol is causing child's Tourette's syndrome. No, child hasn't been diagnosed or even tested, but child will yell out when outside playing with friends. Again, not related to the albuterol!
  5. by   marvelmom
    I was taking care of a patient with terrible hearing. I was explaining that I needed to roll him over to get dry pants on to which he replied "you're gonna get your dance on?". I reworded myself by saying I needed to change him and he goes "you need to train me to do what?". By this time I'm trying not to giggle and I tried again telling him his pants were wet. He goes "I've gotta go to the vet?".

    I finally gave up and just rolled him over.
  6. by   huangmichellem
    hahahaha
  7. by   teeniebert
    Quote from T-Bird78
    A parent called one day to complain that the child's teeth were falling out and getting loose, and it only started when pt started using their albuterol inhaler. Parent went on to complain that they couldn't find any info online about what to do for it! It was all we (parent called 3 different times to get the same answer from 3 different nurses) could do to keep a straight face and not laugh over the phone. Did I mention the child is 8--the age when they're in the middle of losing teeth anyway?! Several months go by and parent calls back, this time claiming the albuterol is causing child's Tourette's syndrome. No, child hasn't been diagnosed or even tested, but child will yell out when outside playing with friends. Again, not related to the albuterol!
    Wow...correlation and causation are NOT the same thing, people!
  8. by   BabyGirl1979
    About 5 years ago when I was a nurse tech on the cardiac floor at a local hospital, we had a patient who was VERY altered mental status at night (gotta love ambien). I had caught her having an in depth conversation with the hand sanitizer despenser in her room earlier in the night shift. By 4 am there were no less than 8 nurses/techs in her room trying to figure out a way to keep her in bed and from ripping out her IV and tele. Out of the blue and in the middle of a rant about something else she stops, points at a nurse in the back of the pack and loudly exclaims "YOU ain't nothin but one of them LOOSE PARTY GIRLS!!" What made it so funny was that this nurse WAS known for being the party girl of the unit and less than picky about her dates. We all cracked up laughing, especially "party girl" who just shrugged and agreed!
  9. by   Leonca
    Client #1 is bringing in a box full of purebred bulldog puppies for vaccines.

    I bring a male pug mix up to the front desk to return to his owner after boarding.

    Client #2 turns from talking to Client#1- “Oh, is that their mommy?”
  10. by   OhHeyNurse
    Quote from TAM
    then, there was a young lady in the OB/GYN office for a routine exam and the physician inquired "are you sexually active?"
    The lady replied "no, I usually just lay there"
    hilarious !
  11. by   mrshunt
    Today while passing pills I overheard one of my residents ask another res, "so if you could smoke anything right now what would it be?" I tried very hard not to laugh, so hilarious!!
  12. by   ICUNurseG
    STEMI pt "I started having chest pain, so I ate two donuts"
  13. by   LarryNightingale
    Second semester clinicals, step-down unit. Pt is older male, schizo. When I came in for my shift, he was zonked out and stayed asleep for a good 4 hours. When he woke up, the CNA moved him to the chair so we could change the bed. The CNA is changing the bed sheets while I step out to grab the pt. a new gown. I come back to find him butt-naked, standing in front of the chair (POD 3, hip fix, btw) holding his butt... I ask, "What's going on, ---? Are you alright?" ---, always the charmer, responds, "Oh yeah, I just took a giant ****!" and hands me a washcloth with a gigantic turd on it, like that's a normal thing to do! It look all of my self control to not burst out laughing. The CNA couldn't hold it in and left the room chuckling. So there I am: the bed is stripped, CNA is outside getting her giggles out, patient is standing in front of me butt-naked, and I'm holding a giant turd on a washcloth. Story of my life.

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Funny things patients say !