Funniest Things Doctors say! - pg.6 | allnurses

Funniest Things Doctors say! - page 6

What is the funniest thing that a doctor has ever charted, stated, or ordered! :lol2: I had a patient with end stage AIDS. The patient's doctor came up to me and asked me how her kyphosis... Read More

  1. Visit  mombabyRN96 profile page
    9
    As we are a very close group of girls who work well together, I walk into the nursery one evening and say, "what's up ******!" I then step a little closer and see a MD sitting around the corner charting. I was so embarrased I said, "omg I'm so sorry I didn't know you were sitting in here!" He says "thats ok, I think I will try saying that the next time I come in here".
    Last edit by Esme12 on Jan 7, '13 : Reason: TOS/profanity/use of letters and symbols
  2. Visit  PediLove2147 profile page
    4
    I had a patient that broke her arm and was in a sling. She needed to see PT so I asked the doctor to put an activity order in, I figured I would get the normal: NWB RUE. Nope, "No handstands."
    nrsang97, Kareylea, DizzyLizzyNurse, and 1 other like this.
  3. Visit  ergoddess profile page
    0
    Quote from L8RRN
    I had a surgeon leave a patient's room after "examining" him and told me we needed to ambulate the patient more. I tried to politely redirect him by saying "do you mean you would like us to take him out of his room in a wheelchair some due to his double amputee status". He stuttered a little and said "yes, he needs to get out of his room some and a wheelchair would be fine".
    Hmm...back peddling much?!
  4. Visit  Jenni811 profile page
    0
    Had a doc trying to order "Half normal saline." He gets on the computer, pulls up normal saline orders and looks confused. He looks at me, "Is .45% the same as half?"

    um........excuse me?? (This was an intern thankgod, but still lets get real now.)
  5. Visit  dah doh profile page
    2
    I was caring for an obese frequent flier. He became very SOB with any activity, but his second problem was that he couldn't stand up to urinate so he would pee on himself so his groin was painful due to excoriation. I asked him if he would be ok with a Foley catheter. He said ok so I called the GP for an order. Unfortunately when I tried to insert it, I was unsuccessful. I called the GP back to notify him that I was not able to place the catheter and I got yelled for being unable to do something so basic and was told he was going to call in a "professional". The next shift, I found out a urologist came in to see the patient and his note said "unable to place catheter; unable to locate penis"...I got a huge laugh out of it and felt vindicated!

    Post op cabg patient who has a history of quadreplegia was finally stable and extubated. CT fellow comes in and asks "has he been out of bed yet?" I reply "no". CT fellow states "I want him ambulated TID". I look at him with a raised eyebrow and asked him "did you fix his legs too? cuz he didn't walk before heart surgery!"
    4chun_cookie and nrsang97 like this.
  6. Visit  Orca profile page
    10
    I was caring for a patient who had severe psoriasis. He was being treated with coal tar shampoo. The doctor wanted to discontinue the therapy, but couldn't recall what he was stopping. The order read, literally, "DC black crap".
  7. Visit  1RN4Christ profile page
    1
    ha! I had the same thing happen...a paraplegic with orders for 'ambulation in hallways' for dvt measures.
    RoseRyan likes this.
  8. Visit  SaoirseRN profile page
    4
    Doctor wearing a neon green lanyard for his ID tag -- newly acquired as I hadn't seen him wearing it before. I commented on the green colour and said it was good he'd chosen a break-away type.

    He said, "Do people really get strangled?"

    (Oh poor, naive doctor)

    I said, "Never underestimate the power of a hypoxic 90 year old."

    (This actually happened to a coworker)

    He laughed and said, "I thought you were going to say 'hypoxic nurse'!"
  9. Visit  inkednurse profile page
    1
    As a patient and a nurse I found the humor in being told by an Anesthesiologist after my emergency c-section that required general anesthesia, "for your height and weight you're surprisingly easy to intubate." Now as an OR nurse I love to recount that one to patients!
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  10. Visit  ncl52598 profile page
    5
    I once had a resident order SCDs on a man with no legs. I wanted to put them on his prostheses and stand them in the corner. I ahve also heard "stop the 0.9 and start normal saline"
  11. Visit  monkeybug profile page
    6
    When I worked NICU we were lucky, we were one of the few areas of the hospital rarely "blessed" with residents. Occasionally we would get one who had an interest and they were allowed to come in and follow the neonatologists for a few months. One day I overheard our wonderful Neo talking to the resident about cold stress and discussing one baby's low temps. He told the resident to order a bunting, resident nodded wisely, and Neo walked off. Resdient walks up to me and says, "This baby needs a bunting." I told him I agreed and asked him to write the order. He looked sheepish and said, "Um, how do you spell 'bunting'?" Bless his heart, he didn't even know what it was. I liked him, so I explained it to him, showed him one, and spelled it for him.
    besaangel, annietart, teeniebert, and 3 others like this.
  12. Visit  SaoirseRN profile page
    0
    Quote from monkeybug
    When I worked NICU we were lucky, we were one of the few areas of the hospital rarely "blessed" with residents. Occasionally we would get one who had an interest and they were allowed to come in and follow the neonatologists for a few months. One day I overheard our wonderful Neo talking to the resident about cold stress and discussing one baby's low temps. He told the resident to order a bunting, resident nodded wisely, and Neo walked off. Resdient walks up to me and says, "This baby needs a bunting." I told him I agreed and asked him to write the order. He looked sheepish and said, "Um, how do you spell 'bunting'?" Bless his heart, he didn't even know what it was. I liked him, so I explained it to him, showed him one, and spelled it for him.
    That is adorable!
  13. Visit  Blue Roses profile page
    2
    I work on a Neuro Med-Surg floor. One night towards the begining of shift someone had paged the neurosurgeon on call, an older and somewhat quirky physician. When the phone rang I answered it and he doesn't say hello or his name or anything, just says "It's going to be a full moon tonight!!!" At first I thought it was a prank call, but thankfully I awkwardly figured it out and passed it on to the nurse who paged.
    DizzyLizzyNurse and teeniebert like this.


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