Funniest Things Doctors say! - page 6

by RNdiva505 45,345 Views | 81 Comments

What is the funniest thing that a doctor has ever charted, stated, or ordered! :lol2: I had a patient with end stage AIDS. The patient's doctor came up to me and asked me how her kyphosis sarcomas are looking. I stated,... Read More


  1. 5
    Called the doc about a patient who wasn't looking too good-

    Me: Her mental status has declined since yesterday, her pressures are low, her temp is low, her WBCs are dropping (2.4), her edema is greatly increased, and she just doesn't look good. We put her on tele, and it looks like some ST depression. (this lady was really sick, infection, lots of co-morbidities, has a tendency to refuse treatments that may pose a risk-such as cross allergy to penicillin-rather than treat these problems, not a whole lot left that she'd let us do to help her)

    Dr.: Well, honestly, I think she's doomed. Is she a DNR?

    Me: Nope, full code.

    Dr.: Lovely.
  2. 3
    Quote from SaoirseRN
    She looked up, and he was so shocked by her hugely swollen face that he said, "Oh my GOD!" and actually jumped backward.

    She was okay with it, and he did apologize, but man was that funny.
    Had something similar happen, only *I* was the patient! My family seems to only have "urgent" stuff happen on weekends when my PCP's office is closed. I really *hate* to go to the ER for things that are really just "urgent" rather than actual emergencies, but we don't have any urgent care clinics in my town, so ER is the only option on weekends.

    I had a sinus infection that had gone to my eyes and my ears in very short order, and the speed with which it was progressing told me I couldn't wait until morning to see my PCP. When the ER doc walked into my curtained area, he looked at the green goop oozing out of my eye and down my cheek and said, "EWWW!" and then followed it up with "Yikes!" and "Sheesh" after looking in my nose and ear.

    I ended up with a Rocephin injection, gentamicin drops, and (I think) Keflex horse-pills, plus a follow-up with my PCP in a couple days. Good thing I didn't tough it out and wait until the next day!
  3. 2
    Quote from NayRN
    Dr.: Well, honestly, I think she's doomed. Is she a DNR?

    Me: Nope, full code.

    Dr.: Lovely.
    I called one of my favourite doctors one evening about a patient whose blood sugar was sky-high.
    (in Canada, normal sugar on the scale we use is 5-7)

    Me: "Her blood sugar is 26.9."

    Doctor: Fantastic!!
    vintagemother and nrsang97 like this.
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    I was getting report from days a few weeks ago and one of the attending docs was rounding. The doc saw us at the chart rack and diverted in to see the patient first so that we could finish. We finished our report, he, his exam and we moved so he could have the chart. Very nonchalantly he says, "The gown in this room is very hungry." The other RN and I stared at him a second and he laughed and said, "Go look. Very hungry." The patient was a "picker" and had disconnected the tube feed from the Lopez valve; so the tube feed was running out in the gown.
    Pangea Reunited likes this.
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    The docs on our unit take call from home. We're coding a guy who has thrown bilateral PEs. I call the resident, then the attending. The attending, after I explain what exactly is going on: "Do I really NEED to come in?" "Um, I think so..." "Has he gotten any better, at all?" (Said in hopeful voice.) "No, he's still in asystole like he has been for the last twenty minutes..." "Did you call the resident?" "Yes...but I still think you have to come in...he's coding..."
  6. 0
    Quote from dirtyhippiegirl
    The docs on our unit take call from home. We're coding a guy who has thrown bilateral PEs. I call the resident, then the attending. The attending, after I explain what exactly is going on: "Do I really NEED to come in?" "Um, I think so..." "Has he gotten any better, at all?" (Said in hopeful voice.) "No, he's still in asystole like he has been for the last twenty minutes..." "Did you call the resident?" "Yes...but I still think you have to come in...he's coding..."
    Needless to say, you handle this situation very tactfully, therefore, I commend you ...Aloha~
  7. 0
    One of the threads with the most amusing stories. Thanks for making me laugh!
  8. 5
    More of a humorous situation than something said...

    One of the docs I know pretty well hurried into the nursing station one morning. I happened to be there and he says, not exactly panicky, but with a bit of urgency,

    "Um, Saoirse, Patient X is kind of on the floor..."

    I immediately went down to the room, where my coworker was with the patient waiting for help. I mentioned the doctor had told me about this and she said,

    "Yeah, he offered to help me get her up but I said no thanks, please find me a nurse."
  9. 0
    I am not sure if this is a true incident or not. An elderly nurse and an elderly, hard-of-hearing doctor hooked up. After a few drinks at the bar, they ended up in his penthouse. One thing led to another. In bed, the nurse had a slight chest pain and she squeeked, "I have an acute angina". The not-so-happy doc said, "You better, 'cause your breasts aren't cute as hell."
  10. 0
    Quote from SaoirseRN
    More of a humorous situation than something said...

    One of the docs I know pretty well hurried into the nursing station one morning. I happened to be there and he says, not exactly panicky, but with a bit of urgency,

    "Um, Saoirse, Patient X is kind of on the floor..."

    I immediately went down to the room, where my coworker was with the patient waiting for help. I mentioned the doctor had told me about this and she said,

    "Yeah, he offered to help me get her up but I said no thanks, please find me a nurse."
    I didn't get the joke.


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