Favorite, Fun, Weird, and Scandalous Symptoms and Diagnosis...

Nurses Humor

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:chuckle

What are some of the more unusual, amusing, scandalous, and funny symptoms/diagnosis you have come across? Include any strange, comical, odd, outlandish, bizarre, humorous, weird, phonetically written, miswritten, misspelled, misunderstood symptoms and diagnosis or any that you just plain like.

Any websites or books on the subject that you know of and could post would be appreciated as well.

One funny one I came across was ‘Pain in the A**’, the ER clerk was either sick of dealing with patients or didn’t like dealing with this particular patient. I suppose ‘L buttock Pain’ wouldn’t have been as fun.

:lol2:

:roll

A classic one I enjoy is ‘Can’t Read’. I don’t know why, but I always think this is a funny comment to put in. I suppose ‘illegible’ is too difficult to spell and again isn’t as fun.

:smackingf Here’s a weird one I came across, ‘Knocked out by Pan’. Not sure if that meant he was hit by his wife with a frying pan or he was boxing with the mythical little pipe playing half man half goat, Pan. Either way I love coming across the symptoms that make me do a double take.

:lol_hitti

Post as many as you wish and as often as you wish, I will include more as I come across them. Enjoy. :yeah:

I went to the ER one day from my surgical unit, to help in translating the patients complaints to the doctor who didnt know the local language.

Here's a part of my conversation with the9 year old patients father:

So whats wrong with your son?

"He has stomach pain and constipation, hasnt been to the bathroom since a week"

While I am busy translating this to the doctor, the man interrupts me saying,

"Actually, I know the reason for his constipation; You know what; when he was a young boy of 5, I caught him in the farm one day eating a mango which I had forbidden him to. In a rage, i slapped him in the face, and as a result, he ended up swallowing the mango along with the seed. I am sure, that seed is now blocking the pathway to his stool. Tell the doctor to remove that mango, and i am sure his constipation and pain will disappear"

At this point, he clutched his son and began crying, saying sorry to his son.

Specializes in ICU, telemetry, LTAC.

If you can slap somebody so hard they'll swallow a whole mango, boy howdy do you have problems.

Specializes in Geriatrics and Quality Improvement,.

My son used to suffer from "constellation" >>> constipation

Many a parent have become enraged when the diet is ordered >>> BRAT

Many sons/daughters are upset that their parent is SOB

I dont know what tynol is but I have Tylenol.

a-ceeter-mini-fan cannot be given under any circumstances in this hospital, no matter how hot you are, bedside fans are not allowed.

hoosie-ma-thingie is a real spot on a mans body, its located by the dingle, and no female nurse is allowed to touch the dingle.

All this just reminds me of when I was in nursing school years ago. I found some of my old nsg. notes and the way that I spelled things back then, OH MY, it is a surprise that I passed. I can't think of any in particular but I am sure it will come to me!

(I may be too embarassed to post them though!)

Have a FF patient who states in her PMH she suffers from "pseudo-seizures". :rolleyes:

Have a FF patient who states in her PMH she suffers from "pseudo-seizures". :rolleyes:

A very real entity, actually. Here's an article about pseudoseizures. It's intended for laypeople, but provides good explanation.

http://www.med.umich.edu/opm/newspage/2003/pseudoseizures.htm

During a nursing 2000 rotation I shadowed a L&D nurse. She had a 15yo patient in labor who called her in and screamed... "MY STUFF HURTS" the nurse wrote that on the chart verbatum then called the doc and said "I think you need to get down here, her stuff hurts."

I went into the ER once having a miscarriage. I tolf the Triage nurse why I was there... he asked why I thought that. I showed him a foot (i had pulled it off thinking it was a blood clot inside me...loooooooooong story) he said ok.. go have a seat and Ill get you a bed. 6 hours later I got that bed and the doc came in asking what was wrong. I told him i was having a miscarriage... he said why do you think that.. I said because the baby is now in my pants. I was pissed. Later, I snagged my chart and read it.. the doc wrote " patient presented with a baby in her pants... suspected miscarriage" You think?

i went into the er once having a miscarriage. i tolf the triage nurse why i was there... he asked why i thought that. i showed him a foot (i had pulled it off thinking it was a blood clot inside me...loooooooooong story) he said ok.. go have a seat and ill get you a bed. 6 hours later i got that bed and the doc came in asking what was wrong. i told him i was having a miscarriage... he said why do you think that.. i said because the baby is now in my pants. i was pissed. later, i snagged my chart and read it.. the doc wrote " patient presented with a baby in her pants... suspected miscarriage" you think?

how sad for you! how insensitive of the medical team who should have shown you some compassion. not everyone views a sa the same way but there are many women who grieve and need the emotional support.

I can tell you that the ED nurse sat with me for about 4 hours, pulling out clots, cleaning me up and crying with me.

This was years ago .An elderly lady was admitted with a diagnosis of S.O.B, S.O.B. S.O.B.We figured out that it was something to do with short of breath .In the end though had to ring her G.P.Apparently he was fed up with her and admitted her to hospital so she would stop presenting at his practice for a while.He said the abbreviations stood for Silly old b...h, sitting on bed , short of breath.lol

Lol

Specializes in PACU, ED.

My ex used to crack me up. When my oldest son sampled some cleaner, she returned from the ED with him and announced that he had burned his slobbery glands. (salivary) He's fine now 15 years later so I guess he had enough slobber production to get by.

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