Classes for men...

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

(should they be mandatory?)

Classes for Men

Classes for men at our local Learning Center for Adults - Sign-up by Sept. 31, 2003

NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their content, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.

*TOPIC 1

HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step, with slide presentation.

*TOPIC 2

THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?

Round table discussion.

*TOPIC 3

IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND

AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?

Group Practice.

*TOPIC 4

FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.

Pictures and explanatory graphics.

*TOPIC 5

THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE

KITCHEN SINK?

Examples on Video.

*TOPIC 6

LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE OR ALLOWING OTHERS TO USE IT.

Help line support and support groups.

*TOPIC 7

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE

INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.

Open forum.

*TOPIC 8

HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.

Graphics and audio tape.

*TOPIC 9

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.

Real life testimonials.

*TOPIC 10

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation.

*TOPIC 11

LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LIVING ALONE OR WITH OTHERS.

Online classes and role playing.

*TOPIC 12

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.

Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

*TOPIC 13

HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER

IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.!

Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

*TOPIC 14

CAR KEYS AND OTHER ITEMS:

Practice on developing skills of putting things back where they belong so

that they can be easily found.

~Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to any survivors.

***BUMPERS STICKERS FOR LADIES ***

~BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF

~OH MY GOD, I THINK I'M BECOMING THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY!

~GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID, BUT SHE DID IT BACKWARDS AND

IN HIGH HEELS

~A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT

HER IN HOT WATER

~I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A

CAREER

~COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

~I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN

~WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT

~OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

~DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN

~ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE

~I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE

~HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

~DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES

***And last but not least:

~IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN !

(ok Guys... awaiting the backlash !) :uhoh21:

[slyhrtbt]

ok Guys... awaiting the backlash !)

Well for one What if someone made jokes about women like this. They probably would have to remove the thread from the board for all the backlash. If a man Posted it he would be looked at as sexist. But it is funny. true for some men but not all. But women don't want a good man they just want to complain about the one they have. Just my humble opinion that comes from years of dealing with women.

[eb_rn]

very funny!!!!!!!!!!!

[renerian, BSN, RN]

I have a good man but I don't complain as I am blessed. He is an RN too.

I think the thread applies some to me and my hubby!

renerian

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Yep Renerian . . .. the lost keys things is definitely ME!

But the truth is my 18 year old still misses the toilet (thank goodness for those little rugs) and all my kids and hubby forget to refill the ice cube trays and I'm the only one who puts the toilet paper on the roll (everyone says those extra big rolls don't fit but they will if you take a bit off the roll), everyone forgets their dirty clothes behind the bathroom door when the cubby hole to the basement washroom is 3 steps from the bathroom door, I do NOT like to have money wasted by buying cut flowers, so don't even bother . . . .you get the idea . . .it ain't just men here. We all have our idiosyncracies.

Laugh and the world laughs with you . . . :chuckle

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Good for you Jnette. I'm glad you posted it.:)

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

Originally posted by slyhrtbt

ok Guys... awaiting the backlash !)

Well for one What if someone made jokes about women like this. They probably would have to remove the thread from the board for all the backlash. If a man Posted it he would be looked at as sexist. But it is funny. true for some men but not all. But women don't want a good man they just want to complain about the one they have. Just my humble opinion that comes from years of dealing with women.

Nah because 1) it's my option to read it

2) i have a sense of humor

Guess i'm a rare one.

[donmurray]

Being male has its little compensations........

Your surname is for life.

Your hairstyle can last for years, or even decades!

Three pairs of shoes is more than adequate.

A five-day trip only needs one small suitcase.

Your friends never trap you with questions like, "So, what's changed about me?"

Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.

You have one mood.........all the time!

[Dixen81]

donmurray, great comeback! Thanks to you and jnette for the laughs!

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Good point Donmurray;)

[nowplayingEDRN]

Originally posted by donmurray

Being male has its little compensations........

Your surname is for life.

Your hairstyle can last for years, or even decades!

Three pairs of shoes is more than adequate.

A five-day trip only needs one small suitcase.

Your friends never trap you with questions like, "So, what's changed about me?"

Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.

You have one mood.........all the time!

It is also socially acceptable for you to have body hair and grab your crotch in a public place......:rotfl:

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

I wonder what would happen if women waved their boobs, while the men grabbed their crotches. As far as the body hair goes? I tickle my granddaughter with my beard.

Y'all have a nice day now, ya hear?

bye, bye.