I got this one!
You are looking at a 5 year recovered nurse who was dumb enough during the peak of my addiction, to walk right in and pee a positive screen for opioids!
Like Meriwhen said, usually a prescription (like I had) would have sufficed. But, because I didn't disclose that before testing- I bombed it, and received just enough confirmation that I was in a problem bigger than me, devastated because I realized I was not just an addict- but a full blown "functional" Junkie, and embarrassed beyond what you (if it wasn't your screen) will ever understand.
They didn't call the board, though I now wish they had- I would have been immediately and "compassionately" referred to treatment, but, if there's a harder way to do something, I can usually find it.
I tried 3 days of withdrawals before going to to the ER in desperation, where I was treated like a piece of dirt, (tried to give me Ativan, which I refused- didn't need a Benzo addiction!) The MD actually said I was wasting his time- this wasn't a rehab! "What do you want me to do, write you some Hydrocodone or Dilaudid until you can get a bed?" Really? I had plenty of dope. "No, I thought people could detox in hospitals without the horrible withdrawals." "If it's been three days, you ought to feel better soon, you want something for your nerves, . . .I mean, that's all I can do for ya!" "Ok, just discharge me, I should have stayed at home." "I agree!" I must say that he came to my 3rd Year Sobriety Reception and thoroughly apologized- I later found out he was struggling with Rx addiction at that time, he's now an addictionologist, and runs a Suboxone Detox Program.
So, hopeless, and feeling like I had super-influenza- and sure I would probably end-it-all that night, I went in to my State Board of Nursing that next day sweaty, shaky, and exhausted. I was expecting to tell them I was an Opioid Addict, tell them what happened, and give them my license. I was expecting them to berate me, humiliate me further(if possible), and tell me my nursing career was over because of my poor choices and sickening lifestyle- I remember thinking (I was only 23-4 years into Nursing), They might have me arrested for the possibility I diverted (I never did thank God!) I was an ER coordinator without Pyxis Access in prior job. I was way wrong.
I walked in to see a sweet young African American Girl at a reception desk who said "Baby, are you lost?" I told her no ma'am, I need to speak with a Board of Nursing Rep- "I have a personal emergency."
She lit up with a glow-"Are you here with a chemical dependency problem baby?" I felt my heart slow down, I thought I was dreaming. "Your in the right place, You want a little help?" "Yes ma'am, but I came to report myself." "Let's get you to Ms. Xxxxxx.
They preceded to save my life, my dreams, and my career. But, even if they'd tore up my license and danced around them while they burned, I would still only be here because of them! They found me a bed at a Detox Center, a Rehab bed following that for a 90 day stay, and they introduced me to the Recovery Nurse Program. I never thought before that I would consider employees of my State Board "My Angels!"
Now fast forward 6 years later and I am an NP who consults regularly with the same nurses at the Board, along with 3 counselors, and 3 MDs/2 DOs to help others entering those doors petrified with fear, and feeling miserable, hopeless, and bracing for the same thing I was. I am still in shock of the way they treated me like their brother had walked in and said he was "in trouble."
I think Nurses are Awesome, and from the one there when I was born, to the Board Nurses that saved my life, I am in great debt to some awesome substance abuse Nurses! That's pretty much what happened to me. The test saved my life and BSN- maybe/hopefully (if the persons is abusing them), you witnessed a huge "turn-around" in their life.