So just to give a little background. I have been a nurse for over 20 years. Excellent career record. I was diagnosed as bipolar as teenager but stopped taking meds around 18 years old and went on to excel in college, excel in my career and do well in general. Around 2011 I was in a horribly toxic relationship and my bipolar came back like an angry bull. I attempted suicide twice, was hospitalized inpatient and left my job without notice because of the embarrassment of it all (was in a supervisory position). Even once leaving the hospital I did not feel capable of doing my job, my attention span was horrible, emotions all over and felt it was not right to work that way especially as a critical care nurse. In a nutshell I have not worked since 2011 as an RN though I did take care of my father when he passed and it light the fire that made me want to get back into nursing (that and bills lol).
During those three years I was dealing with severe anxiety and took to smoking pot to help alleviate it and frankly to help keep my emotions more even keel. When my father passed a few months ago I decided to move forward and reclaim my career. I gave up smoking pot exactly 35 days ago today. Been doing well and using more practical and healthy ways of controlling my anxieties which come far less frequently anyway. I had an interview yesterday I just starting applying last week and was surprised to get a call that quick. The employer essentially offered based on background check and then walked me to a room and told me I had to do a urine test. I really did not think much about it at the time cause I figured at 30+ days I would be fine but since have done some research and am concerned that the potential exists I could fail (kinda fat, I do work out and walk a lot though). I did a home test that come back inconclusive, sigh, and maybe its my anxiety but I am freaking out that I made a mistake here. What are the ramifications if I fail the pre-employment screening, is it reported to the board or is it a employer decision. Does anyone have advice on how to handle it if I do fail?
I know smoking weed was stupid to some degree, I am being honest when I say that I never smoked it while employed and never would. Not that I have an issue with it, just I realize the consequences are not worth it at this time. I have worked hard to get back both mentally and physically and to see it be submarined by this would be more than I could bear. Thanks for letting me vent you all...know I am rambling but it feels good to express this and get it out. Hopefully its a non issue but I am a big believer in being prepared to deal with things after what I have been through.
