Finally Made It!!!! Now what???
- 1Feb 4, '09 by rninmiI received a call from my monitoring specialist today from HPRP he said, "Andy, I am calling to tell you, you are offically a free man!" I cannot tell you how awesome I felt, I sat in my pt's room and started crying...I feel proud to have completed this long 4yr journey... anyway, not a few hours later and I realize somehting....I HAVE NOT ACCOUNTABILITY! I can go anywhere, anytime, drink anything and take anything............To be honest I'm a little scared......there have been times when that vial of dilaudid would have never been missed...my addicted brain convinced me I could only use it once................then I remembered I had not called in! Those days are gone now.......bitter sweet, scary, elation......scary.....happy.....scary.......think I'll hit a meeting after work!
Thanks for listening.
- 1,521 Visits
- 0Feb 4, '09 by Muttloverminimi,
Congratulations! the "sayings" saved my life. The one is live by is "hit fast forward" -- when a thought comes to my mind, i'm not responsible for it, but I am responsible for what I do with it. Play out the tape in your mind honestly, realize where that "just once, one more, etc" will take you. Then hit a meeting. Good luck!
- 0Feb 4, '09 by MagsulfateFirst of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!
Second,, yes, you are accountable,,, you are accountable to yourself, to your patients and to your loved ones. You are a free man! BUT, remember, you still have a responsibility to yourself!!! That is the most important of all! It will feel weird not to have to check in every morning,, and you will have nightmares about forgetting to call, then you'll take a sigh of relief and remember that you don't have to anymore
Congrats! And don't forget, YES, you are still accountable for your recovery my dear
- 0Feb 5, '09 by TweetyCongratulations!!!
Glad you hit a meeting and that you recognize that his is a vulnerable time. There's a guy in our meetings that did the monitoring program here in FL and the day he was set free went out and drank, shot crystal meth and lit wasn't long before he lost it all and has his licensed permanently revoked and is a waiter at the age of 40.
We all only have a daily repreive.
At the same time, feel good about your accomplishment.
- 1Feb 6, '09 by rninmiThanks to everyone...still kinda wierd. Sassy, good luck...the second year was the fastest for me...I had fallen into the routine and actually started looking forward to group on Monday nights!
Don't push your luck, do EXACTLY what they want, and you will be done soon!
Thanks agian everyone, I am glad I found this thread.