Curiosity..

Twoyearnurse · Apr 17, 2014

You could always call the BON anonymously and ask this question. Generally speaking, we share our stories as one addict/alcoholic relating to another, but you are more than welcome to browse through the history here and gather a lot of stories. Everyone's journey is different, please remember when asking these types of questions that this is an illness. It would be like asking a cancer patient: so how much sun were you actually getting, an did you realize that the sun was going to cause that? And did you feel guilty about getting too much sun when you realized you had an off looking mole on your butt?. Maybe there is another nurse here willing to share more intimate answers with you...now, on to your questions. You are focusing quite a bit on the concept of diversion and addiction in your questions but then say that your situation has nothing to do with that. If this is a fishing exploration to find out what will happen to you if you were to get caught...let's say...with an addiction and you have been diverting the answer is simple. You will get caught or die if you do not stop. If this is you, you have found a safe place, if it isn't...then I would encourage you to go to the BON and inquire, read your states nurse practice act etc.

Big Blondie, ASN, BSN, MSN, APRN · Apr 17, 2014

I would assume you have some concern of your own drug use. Most people dont spend their time reading recovery websites as a past time. There is an assessment to determine and diagnose for various stages of substance abuse to addiction. Many of the questions are about behaviors not actually using. If a person has a concern then be smart...get an assessment. It may save your life. Peace.

Tigerboy1 · Apr 17, 2014

I agree with the pervious post; sounds like your concerns may be do to an addiction problem..

newmommy26 · Apr 17, 2014

I agree with the above nurses. I have a dear friend (not a nurse) that has severe pain issues and uses a lot of medication. She is addicted in my opinion. She is also able to function verywell in her life, but she has a problem. You may want to talk to a professional regarding your meds and ask if you should be on the floor or if there is another way to manage your pain without heavy duty medications. Just my humble ooption on and if I am way off I apologize.

LittleMissVixen410 · Apr 18, 2014

While I appreciate everyone's input on saying I have a substance abuse problem, that is definitely not the case. I have been on pain medication since I was 11 years old for a congenital bone issue and rheumatoid arthritis. I have a high tolerance, which is different than an addiction, because of my extended use (almost 13 years now). I do not take more than prescribed, and I don't take them unless I need them. I have never asked for an early refill on any medication I'm on (nor have I needed it). I take exactly what is prescribed (or less) to control my chronic pain.

Last night when I was searching the forums I went to the main general nursing forum and saw "nurses/recovery" and I clicked on it just because I was curious about the topic and I read two posts. Once I read the posts, I got concerned and confused that if anyone in the healthcare field took controlled substances while on the job (no matter the tolerance, impairment, condition, or lack thereof), that it was illegal - which I didn't know it was/wasn't and wanted clarification.

As far as my other questions about diversion, I was simply just curious about that. I have never diverted medication and would never. Being in chronic pain for as long as I have, I would NEVER allow my patients to go without medications and I value my license, my morals, and my career far too much to ever jeopardize anything by doing something like that.

I really appreciate being accused of having a substance issue, feels like a very warm community. I was simply inquiring about a topic that might have pertained to me, as well as getting general insight from others with an addiction or in recovery because the topic does have interest to me. I was a substance abuse and psychiatric nurse for a while and I always found it fascinating.

HunnieBadger · Apr 18, 2014

I just have to chime in here...as much as I didnt want to. Just becuase one diverts meds does NOT mean that a patient goes without their medications. Many CAN and WILL divert, while medicating their patients with their intended meds...ever heard of a PRN order? As for your concerns with taking your Rx while on duty, maybe you should contact the NCBON and ask them, let them know that you've been taking them for 13 years and see what they say. My bet is that you will end up with the need for an addictionologist consult.

Youre insulted by the honesty that has been offered here in this recovery forum, well thats what we do. Giving honest feed back to those who inquire, and treat us as if we are sub-human :alien: You must not have spent too much time in your psych/addiction position since you seem to lack knowledge of it being a mental illness and not one of moral defect.

And how exactly do narcs even work for you after 13 years of chronic use, IMO you looked here because something in your inner being is letting you know you have a problem...NEVER SAY NEVER

Twoyearnurse · Apr 18, 2014

There is nothing fascinating about our situations...nor does addiction have anything to do with morals or a moral failing. Our licenses mean just as much to us as it does to you, that I can strongly assure you. I would suggest researching more on the topic of addiction prior to making statements like the ones you just have. I am not here to educate, I am here to seek guidance and give hope and encouragement to others who have experience the disease of addiction.

HunnieBadger · Apr 18, 2014

And you never knew there were so many...there are far more than you realize lady bug.

We don't speak of it openly because it does not define who we are. It's guaranteed that we are not proud of our addictions.

I didnt wake up one morning and just decided that I was going to throw my career away over a stupid narcotic and yes btw I Had a legit Rx just like you! But as you have proven in your ignorant comments many try to define us exactly as that less than moral.

Do yourself a favor and educate yourself and then another nurse and ask them to continue paying it forward...maybe just maybe things will change and the ignorance of addiction can fall away.

newmommy26 · Apr 18, 2014

You are looking for a warm community that will simply answer your questions without challenging you to think about why you are asking them given what you so honestly shared. This is not that community. We are warm and encouraging when people are struggling and need support, but when we suspect someone may have a problem we are going to challenge it to help the person get honest with themselves. When you call us immoral due to a disease of addiction you can bet we are going to EDUCATE you. I have been judged long enough and am paying the price for my addiction as we all are. Would you tell your psych patient with addiction they are immoral and that they must not value their families that are suffering due to their mental illness I bet you wouldn't, or if you did/would I feel very sorry for the patients you nursed. My suggestion is get honest with yourself, and please take your questions to other forums that will answer this for you from the "curiosity" standpoint you are taking. I am sure you can find a nurse manager in one of those forums that will answer your questions. Here we are concerned with saving our lives not wasting our time and energy educating a curious nurse that is going to turn around and judge us. Just being honest with you.

Earthmama · Apr 18, 2014

I'd just like to point a few things out. First, diversion comes in many other forms besides just taking meds from your patients, when I was using I never took meds from my patients - I just kept my wastes. In fact this was one of the ways I tricked myself into thinking I didn't have a problem, because my patients were always very well taken care of. Second, you can say never all you want to, you can even put it in all caps if it makes you feel better. Just remember, every single one of us in this forum once said the exact same thing.

And finally, if something ever goes down on your job - a medication error, a discrepancy, a patient or staff complaint, whatever - you can be tested. And don't kid yourself, even if they know about your history, you can still be deemed impaired. Our profession is not like others, people's lives are in our hands, and if there's even a tiny chance that you could be influenced by side effects of your meds, the BON will not hesitate to declare you unfit for bedside nursing. A prescription does not change the fact that the meds you're on can alter your mind. You don't have to be an addict to be under the influence. Remember the board is not your friend, and at the very least they can make your life a living hell while they conduct an investigation.

Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for.

catmom1, BSN, RN · Apr 18, 2014

Wow Earthmama! You blew my socks off with your articulate response to the "just curious" OP. Well said, well said! :up:

I am sure most nurses have no idea the thin ice we all tread on when taking psychoactive substances, prescribed or not. A random UA can stop a career dead in its tracks.

Catmom :paw: