An Eclectic Recovery Thread

[Davey Do]

"For those of us who have lost our faith, or who have always had to struggle along without it, it's often just helpful to accept - blindly and with no reservations. It's not necessary for us to believe at first; we need not be convinced...

May I not intellectualize about faith, since by its nature it precludes analysis. May I know that "head tripping" was a symptom of my disease..." ODAT May 1

.........................................

My Dad and I use to play guitars and sing a three chord song which went "Life is like a mountain railroad, with an Engineer that's brave. We must make our run successful from the cradle to the grave. Watch the curves that fill the tunnel, never falter, never fail. Keep your hands upon the throttle and your eyes upon the rail".

[Davey Do]

"...It is my confidence in a Higher Power, working in me, which today releases and activates my ability to make my life a more joyous, satisfying experience...

Today I Pray

May I remember constantly that it is my belief in a Higher Power that flips the switch to release the power in me..." One Day At A Time (ODAT) May3

Step 2: "Came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

"May the Power of the Program work its miracles equally for those who believe in a personal God or in a Universal Spirit or in the strength of the group itself, or for those who define their Higher Power in their own terms, religious or not. If newcomers are disturbed by the religiosity of the Program, may I welcome them on their own spiritual terms. May I recognize that we're all spiritual beings." ODAT March 25

[Davey Do]

You guys are so lucky you've found something to help with the anxiety, stress, and other issues. I haven't found any kind of release except daydreams of finding a new career.

Are you working a personal program of recovery : 12 step, celebrate recovery, Mental Health Anonymous. If not I strongly encourage you to try one. It can be an extremely freeing experiences Pay special attention to the Promises - they almost always appear rather magically. Sit in the rooms and just take it in. It helps you move through the uncertainty of the past a move into at the bright sunlight of the soul. Trust me to tell you that time takes time and great changes are easy when you let go of fear an uncertainty.

The risks are great and the rewards are great. Keep in touch and keep in touch with us.

peace and joy be with you.

HAPPY

I can try I suppose but I'm not much for the whole group dynamic

Hppygr8ful gave a great response, AvaRose. But I hear you- it takes a lot of energy to psych yourself up, go to a meeting, and then vulnerate yourself in front of a group of virtual strangers. It is a process that does have, as hppygr8ful so eloquently wrote, its advantages.

I haven't been to a 12 step meeting in years, partially due to my MN schedule. Now that I'm working there 12's in a row, I'm looking to get back into the going to meetings thing.

However, one does not necessarily have to attend meetings in order to work a program, anymore than one needs to believe in a specific Higher Power.

One of the reasons for this thread is so I could work a program, talk the talk and walk the walk, in a sort of virtual 12 step meeting. We all work the program for ourselves- our own personal recoveries. By you merely responding to this thread means you have started working your own program. Congratulations. Where you go, how far you want to take it, is entirely up to you.

The program works if you work it.

And: Keep coming back!

[Davey Do]

Yeah, I am a pretty rigid Atheist with no higher power or particularly spiritual side. I like yoga, hiking, exercise (running and weight lifting) in general is therapeutic for me.

Thanks for your comment, dirtyhippiegirl.

Being an Atheist does not necessarily preclude you from having a Higher Power, dirtyhippiegirl, something you may well already know.

I term myself to be Agnostic- questioning the existence of God- and have a Higher Power. I guess the closest I could come to calling my Higher Power by name would be, as the March 25 ODAT quote says, "Universal Soul". I cannot easily explain my Higher Power, but I know it's there, and that's good enough for me.

I believe the only criteria for having a Higher Power is that it needs to be more powerful than yourself. Maybe Exercise and Yoga is your Higher Power?

The best to you!

[audreysmagic, RN]

Hi, Davey! Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it. I think a lot of us are. Me, I've been stressed to the max at work (though there is hope on the horizon - I'm going to nights AND MISS VISITING HOURS AND DEALING WITH FAMILIES WHAT A SHAME LOL...did I say that out loud? . And with my MSN program on top of it, some days have me pulling at my hair. I try to make time to keep up my personal writing - I'm not much for journaling, but I do write fiction. I try to read, though there's also a stack of books I have yet to get to... And BATHS. Hot as I can stand them, with all the Lush products I can afford to get my hands on. Also, without tea, I would probably have lost my job by now because the sarcastic little voice in my head would have failed to stay in my head.

Actual picture of audreysmagic captured by security cameras at her place of employment.

FWIW, your posts always make me smile, even when I don't understand some of them. I see you here so often supporting others, and you're most definitely valued. Mel, Nurse, has me chuckling out loud more times than not!

A friend recently started something on Facebook that I plan to do someday on my own social media page. He noted that we too-often save our outpourings of affection and kind words for when someone has passed, recounting how wonderful they were. He started a "Living Wake," where he then shares those things and tags the person who is very much alive - and then invites friends to share their experiences and love for this person in the comments. It's such a wonderful thing, and I love seeing the joy it brings. Makes even a cynical broad like myself a little more warm-hearted... And here I try to call myself the Wicked Witch of the East (okay, Midwest, but I can't resist the Wicked reference).

...also to add to the eclectic, I accidentally attached the wrong picture the first time, and now a photo of a random actor/model/presumably male person is attached and I can't seem to get it off. So please enjoy him. He seems friendly.

[Davey Do]

Couple of things I do-read a good romance, spiritual real stories, write, journal, sit in front of my fake fireplace and warm them bones as I either talk to God about my day and ask him for guidance for tomorrow.

Sometimes I take a morning walk without my phone and just listen to the birds waking up and chirping or admire the sunlight glinting through the leaves. It is the simple things that replenish you everyday.

Great visual imagery, spotangel! Thanks for sharing.

You sound almost like one of the great Transcendentalists like Emerson or Thoreau!

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

Hppygr8ful gave a great response, AvaRose. But I hear you- it takes a lot of energy to psych yourself up, go to a meeting, and then vulnerate yourself in front of a group of virtual strangers. It is a process that does have, as hppygr8ful so eloquently wrote, its advantages.

I haven't been to a 12 step meeting in years, partially due to my MN schedule. Now that I'm working there 12's in a row, I'm looking to get back into the going to meetings thing.

However, one does not necessarily have to attend meetings in order to work a program, anymore than one needs to believe in a specific Higher Power.

One of the reasons for this thread is so I could work a program, talk the talk and walk the walk, in a sort of virtual 12 step meeting. We all work the program for ourselves- our own personal recoveries. By you merely responding to this thread means you have started working your own program. Congratulations. Where you go, how far you want to take it, is entirely up to you.

The program works if you work it.

And: Keep coming back!

True that one does not have to attend daily meetings to work a personal program of recovery - I remember with perfect clarity my first meeting. I was terrified but the members welcomed me warmly and helped me realize I was not alone in the fight. I attended regularly for 5 years. I don't do meetings much these days except for an occasional tune when I start to feel "Thirsty" . By I do try to do a lot of thinks that get myself out of my own head which is never a good place for me. Gotta go to work.

Peace and Namaste,

Hppy

[AvaRose]

I feel more at peace today, granted it is day 2 of my 4 day weekend so I've had time to be a little lazy and play computer games, watch tv, and browse my favorite shopping website to see if there's anything I'd like to add to my wishlist (I'm sure my mom will want ideas for my birthday coming up). Tomorrow however, I have to tackle the EKG exam so we'll see how I feel after that. I know most of the strips that will be on the test but there are a few that are very difficult for me to recognize (though I can measure intervals with the best of them) and the instructor said that knowing the rhythm and not just the measurements is the most important part. I'm hoping for at least an 85% so I don't have to take the class over again. Next weekend I plan to go use the apartment complex pool, its just a bit too warm this weekend to be outside (just about 100 degrees) and the sun and I don't get along so well especially now that I'm taking medication for HTN.

[Davey Do]

I either talk to God about my day and ask him for guidance for tomorrow.

This portion of spotangel's post applies to Toady's Reading:

"May I pray not as a child complaining to a stern father, as though 'praying' must always mean 'pleading', usually in moments of helpless desperation. May I pray, instead, for my own willingness to reach out to Him, since He is ready at all times to reach out to me. May I regard my Higher Power as a willing God." ODAT May4

[Davey Do]

Actual picture of audreysmagic captured by security cameras at her place of employment.

I accidentally attached the wrong picture the first time, and now a photo of a random actor/model/presumably male person is attached and I can't seem to get it off. So please enjoy him. He seems friendly.

[Davey Do]

Under this sketch in my journal I wrote, "I'm done. I hereby condone all stupid, inconsiderate, and unenlightened people...

Giving up. Letting go. Making that decision to turn one's life and one's will over to the care of the Forces that Be (God as we understood Him)."

Then I drew this:

Today's reading from ODAT gave me some needed guidance: "...I am becoming able to accept other's faults as well as their virtues. The Program is teaching me to 'always love the best in others and never fear their worst'... I am beginning to see that all people- including myself- are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong. Am I approaching true tolerance? Am I beginning to see what real love for my fellows actually mean?

Today I pray- May God give me tolerance for any shortcomings or sick symptoms in others, so that I can love the qualities that are good in them. May God instruct me in the true meaning of love- which must also include patience and forgiveness. May I not overlook the faults of those I love, but may I understand them.

Today I will remember: Love is understanding."

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Under this sketch in my journal I wrote, "I'm done. I hereby condone all stupid, inconsiderate, and unenlightened people...

Giving up. Letting go. Making that decision to turn one's life and one's will over to the care of the Forces that Be (God as we understood Him)."

Then I drew this:

Today's reading from ODAT gave me some needed guidance: "...I am becoming able to accept other's faults as well as their virtues. The Program is teaching me to 'always love the best in others and never fear their worst'... I am beginning to see that all people- including myself- are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong. Am I approaching true tolerance? Am I beginning to see what real love for my fellows actually mean?

Today I pray- May God give me tolerance for any shortcomings or sick symptoms in others, so that I can love the qualities that are good in them. May God instruct me in the true meaning of love- which must also include patience and forgiveness. May I not overlook the faults of those I love, but may I understand them.

Today I will remember: Love is understanding."

That's important. I don't often take the time to look at myself when I'm done criticizing others.

[Davey Do]

That's important. I don't often take the time to look at myself when I'm done criticizing others.

One of the most difficult self examination techniques I am learning, Tweety, is my part in any sort of relationship problem. If someone has done me wrong, it's easy to criticize their actions.

HOWEVER, my involvement and contribution in instigating or adding to the problem is something I need to examine and deal with.