So ready for a break from grad school

PG2018 · Aug 3, 2015

I am a very motivated woman. I am one of those FNP students who needs to work full time while going to school. Between work and clinical and didactic obligations I'm so very exhausted. I intend to keep going and going and going. But tonight I had a mini-melt down of being in a ball of tears because I miss my family. I'm home on Sundays because that is my one day off, but it's filled with papers and reading and catching up on logs or what have you.
My husband is so wonderful. He just pulled me into his arms and offered his support and concern and encouraged me to talk to our kids for a moment (the stimulus for my moment was brought on by missing family time). So I talked to my great babies and they offered their understanding and support which means the world to me.
It still stings that they are in this position but it's for the greater good! I'll be able to provide better for them, have more autonomy and mobility to meet their needs as they finish high school and then go to college. It really will pay off, but I'm weary. Between my hubby and I and our BS degrees and now MS we've been pretty much non-stop in school since 2012. He just embarked on his DSW and will finish Sept. 2017. I will finish my MSN in 2016, May. He wants me to keep going, as do I, but I am so so very tired.
This quarter is almost over and I will actually have a break. While I contemplated picking up extra shifts (the money would be nice), I don't think my psyche could handle it.
I am strong, but not invincible. And I hate that my cracks are showing.
Just venting, thanks for listening.

Your concerns are certainly valid and ones many of us have shared. It's an arduous journey. The fact that you're in the FNP program, working toward the end says a lot. All you have to do is graduate. It's really a shame that NP training is centered around research and paper writing rather than skill and application. I think most of us would enjoy the latter more and reap much greater rewards. Nonetheless, you're in the boat, keep paddling, the opposite shore is in sight. Go with the tide, and you'll find yourself disembarking with your diploma, board certification, NPI and DEA#s before you know it. You will have more money, more autonomy, more workplace respect, more privilege and your family will love you as much if not more than ever.

NaturalFNP · Aug 3, 2015

Hang in there!...This too shall pass. I felt the same way toward the end of my journey. It does not make you weak, but it does make you human. Just keep your eye on the prize. When you get overwhelmed or start to miss your family... put it down and come back to it later. I had to work also, and it was more than a notion. You do what you have to do now so you can do what you want to do later. When I graduated 2014 and passed the Certification,I spent a lot of time with my family and friends before I started working. I had date nights with my husband, movie and game night with the kids, lunch with my girlfriends, and the best part of being free from school was...sitting on my deck with a glass of wine looking at the lightening bugs. I know that you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's there. Instead of working on your break, spend some time with your family. They would love that!...You got this! :yes:

CocoaLoverFNP · Aug 3, 2015

Hey WK,

Do not give up! I understand where you are coming from... I had several "mini-mental breakdowns" while I was in NP school. I wouldn't have made it to graduation if my husband did not support me emotionally and financially. I was also severely burnt out working as a bedside nurse so I told myself that I had no choice but to finish school. Praying also made me stronger. Other posters are right, you got to go with the tide and before you know it, you will be certified, licensed, get your NPI, DEA, etc. like the rest of us. I also thought I would pick up extra shifts during school breaks but my mental health became my priority. I didn't mind not working extra but I had to refrain from spending too much.

Do not give up on school because of a temporary weakness. Keep going! Follow your dreams! I believe you will finish! And yes, you will have lots of time with family, kids, friends, etc. after graduation.

Hey, take a break, have some wine, put on a good movie, then call it a night ;-)

edmia, BSN, RN · Aug 3, 2015

Of course you're exhausted! You're doing so much. The key is that you are doing it and you are almost done. This time next year you'll be in such a different place and you'll thank yourself (and your family) for sticking it out.

But do let it all out once in a while. Don't let that frustration fester ðŸ˜‰

I'm amazed at the strength you show. There's no way I could've worked through clinical. I'm just not that strong. You rock, honey. Keep it going.

Sent from my iPhone -- blame all errors on spellcheck

carachel2 · Aug 3, 2015

You are so close! Mini break-downs are normal! Give those babies a hug, take your much needed break and do NOT pick up extra shifts. Don't be afraid to take out a bit of student loans if needed. Hang in there!

WKShadowNP, DNP, APRN · Aug 3, 2015

What a breath of fresh air. I really appreciate all of the encouragement. Gah my face is leaking.

nyc2011 · Aug 3, 2015

Yes keep going!!! you will make it..I also feel sort of the same way at this time..I am about to start clinicals and I feel down..like is this going to be worth it in the end? Will I be happy? I wish this would fly faster !!!!

grandpaj · Aug 5, 2015

Yes keep going!!! you will make it..I also feel sort of the same way at this time..I am about to start clinicals and I feel down..like is this going to be worth it in the end? Will I be happy? I wish this would fly faster !!!!

I'm feeling the same way. I'm about to start my first clinical rotation in about 6 weeks and I've had a couple of mini-breakdowns as well. Hopefully dropping down to part time at work will help alleviate some stress!

WKShadowNP, DNP, APRN · Aug 5, 2015

Oddly enough, even though I'm ready for this quarter to end, I've enjoyed my rotation so much that I'll miss it. My preceptor is a friend so I had little trepidation. But next quarter is peds. I love kids. But this will be such a new experience for me and with the unknown entity that is my three new preceptors I'm anxious about what to expect.

I have to remember that this is a means to an end and what I signed up for.

We can do this!!!

Barnstormin' PMHNP · Aug 5, 2015

One day at a time is what works for me. I too have had many breakdowns along the way along with three surgeries and an emergency hospitalization (right before the end of the semester five days before finals). I am still not sure how I am surviving and passing with good grades, my program is pretty rigorous. I planned to really make myself relax as I had had July and most of August off but my unit is in a severe staffing crisis so I am working a ton which is not ideal as I wanted to study up on meds before the next clinical. I have 4 kids and a great husband who have been through with me for 6 years now ( I have been in school full time since 2009). I have 2 semesters left and I hope and pray I don't have a heart attack before I graduate, that is the honest truth.

Make sure you eat right, rest/exercise, and spend time laughing with your kids. My husband calls me the little engine that could, I just get on the tracks and chug away lol. You can make it, my husband tells me it is good for the kids to see me working so hard and being so dedicated to a goal. Remember, your kids are in your corner and as long as you hug and kiss them and give them a little time they will be just fine! BTW, kudos to your husband!

WKShadowNP, DNP, APRN · Aug 10, 2015

Ah! Clinicals done until this time next month. I'll be pulling three clinical days a week as opposed to two because I'm going on VACATION the beginning of the quarter.

A much much much needed vacation. I haven't had a real vacation since December 2010. We traveled last year but that was to another state for my dad's funeral.

So. Whew. I've made it through! But that doesn't mean I'll be idle. I still have to secure my women's health rotation and I've asked for an extension on the deadline.

Golly Pete, I know it will work out but it's angst inducing until it does.