Gossip from the Manager?

[KarmaComesAround]

our manager was out on medical leave, and when she returned she called us into her office to ask how things have been going, any suggestions, improvements, etc... well, stuff that was said by some people has got around. what was supposed to be a confidential behind closed doors with the boss has become gossip on the floor. one particular charge nurse is being rude and making sarcastic comments to another nurse i work with b/c of some of the complaints. it is obvious she knows what was said by the comments, but she is not directly coming out and saying it. she is being very unprofessional. and what was said about this charge nurse was not mean...this particular nurse has nothing against the charge nurse...she actually likes her. it was just some objective observations made, and she felt the need to speak up when asked (do not forget that we were asked about things, we did not go in to complain to the manager and we did not just volunteer info). the manager even stated there had been several complaints regarding the same thing. well, it is obvious the manager has repeated these things to coworkers, apparently she has mentioned names...and yeah, the floor i work on is very gossipy with cliques and lots of backstabbing--it is very high school. the nurse manager is apparently having a hard time drawing the line between being a manager and being a friend or participator in the gossip. and the only reason i know what was said about this charge nurse was because i was there (some of us talked to manager individually, some went in pairs at the end of a shift). i have noticed the rudeness from the charge nurse as well...any suggestions? i am not sure if the manager told someone else who told someone else, etc... or if it was directly told to the charge nurse. is this right??

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

Very dangerous to involve yourself in gossip at anytime but when you are the Manager it is lethal. The problem is you do not know who has actually spread the gossip was it the charge nurse or was it the manager. As a manager you would share information with your charge nurse as she is your deputy, and may need to know

[NurseCard, ADN]

Definately unprofessional. EVERYONE should have gone in to speak to the manager INDIVIDUALLY, and all information gathered should have been used to improve things on the floor. If a charge nurse was complained about, then the manager should have spoken to this charge nurse about the complaints and not mentioned names. End of story.

Ugh. I used to work on a floor that was SO similar to what you describe. It's what I like about where I work now. The floor that I work on is stressful, but it is very... UN clique-y. Furthermore, everyone dislikes our manager and director equally.

[script]

I would not assume it was the manager unless this is a pattern with this person. Sounds like everyone might need to talk this out. Is there a trusted person who could help mediate the situation? In the past I have looked for help from other nurses, chaplains, and CNSs who I noticed were pretty good communicators to help me bridge some gaps.

[catlynLPN]

We used to have a very similar situation on my job. Alot of gossiping, back stabbing, tattletaling, and the nurse manager supported it and encouraged from her faverite few because she wanted them to tattle on the rest of us.

It was a horrible situation.

It has finally defused itself, tho, and you don't want this for your department but 2 nurses who were involved in my situation have since passed on, and the nurse manager retired.

I don't pray for ANYone to die, but since they're gone the major portion of the gossiping and backstabbing has stopped.

Still one nurse left who likes to cause trouble but she'll be retiring in a few months, I think. But the interim DON has about had it with her, too, and that nurse better watch her mouth, because I think this interim DON's tolerance level for gossip and backstabbing is very low.

There's just no way to stop it when your nurse manager is the main instigator of it.

You just have to distance yourself, keep your mouth shut, keep your nose in your work and hope for the best, if you plan to stay with the job.

[linzz]

This manager doesn't sound like she should be a manager at all. I have learned the hard way that even when your boss asks your opinion, they often don't really want to know esp. if it involves something they have done wrong or need to sort out. I realize there are some great supervisors that work hard to keep a professional work environment but sadly some are like you boss. Hope it gets better for you soon.

[racing-mom4, BSN, RN]

I dont know why but it seems as this profession is surounded by gossip. I dont get it, I for one know how busy I am at work, who has time for gossip, yet every day I hear it. My last clinical instructor in my final semester at school was horrible at gossip, we would go to clinical sites and she would tell us what nurses flunked thier boards and how many times--or "that nurse barely made it out of her Peds rotation" or "that nurse had to take Med Surg 3 two times". It was bad enough she talked about former students who were now registered nurses, she talked about patients. Obviously she was trained in nursing way before HIPPA ever came about.

Now I work at a hospital where she is a clinical instructor and lord knows what she says about me. As I couldnt take it any more and I did confront her on her gossiping about 4weeks before the semester ended. I then got the ice cold shoulder treatment, the worst ever assisngments and I got a terrible terrible eval from her. Which I made her change because half of it was totally untrue and I refused to sign it. On a good note, she still ignores me!!!

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

Just the other day, during a meeting with the ADN, I made an annoucement that I am sick and tired of nurses pulling me to the side when the nurse they are angry about passes by so that they can talk loudly about her and have her believe that I am in cohoots with them. I topped it off by saying to them dead in front of the ADN that they had better leave me the **** alone with their stupidity and gossip.

You were able to hear a pin drop. The ADN dropped her head, and I can tell that she was trying to keep from laughing and then, she said "You see...not everyone is impressed with gossip". I know that the curse word was not professional, but I also told them all that sometimes, when you communicate with an animal such as a crocodile, the only way the animal will understand to leave you alone is when you speak the way that they do.

It's been peaceful ever since...

[MIA-RN]

My cautionary tale of woe:

I had a supervisor once believe gossip about me.... I never did find out the details completely although I had a bit of it. Somebody told her I said something but I never was able to ferret out all the details. I was not privvy to all of the info shared, nor to the human resources meeting about me. I also was told by the supervisor that she had told all the other leaders about the stuff said about me as well and also talked to the supervisor on floor to which I had already made arrangements to transfer. She felt they all needed to know this stuff. I had a basic idea of what was said, but oh my god was it out of context. Plus she said that a number of coworkers were very hurt about what I'd supposedly said. So who really knows how many people were told that I said...whatever she told them I said.

It was my last few weeks on that floor anyway, I"d already given notice. and that supervisor went to the new manager and told her all she was told about me! And other leaders, people who I liked and respected, stopped speaking to me except when necessary. I felt like a pariah for those few weeks, not sure what was true. Not sure who was angry or upset with me. Also not knowing who was saying what about me. Oh my god, it still twists me up in knots and it was a long time ago.

What is sad is that the things I supposedly said, were not only out of context, but not personal. That is, the things I know that was said. I am sure there was more but again, I was not privvy to all of it. What the supervisor quoted to me that I had supposedly said was completely wrong.

Gossip is deadly. Those other leaders who listened to that supervisor basically shunned me and showed as much a breech of professionalism as the one who listed to whomever went to the supervisor in the first place. I felt sad that people I respected and looked up to would do that.

I am grateful that the supervisor where I transferred told me that she did not tell anyone the information she was told about me, and that we could make it a closed chapter. I found her to be professional and I was grateful to her for stopping the spread of...whatever I was accused of saying.

Of my own volition, however, I no longer work for that institution. I felt that I was carrying something around on my back and I just had to break away.

So beware the manager that listens to and shares gossip.

[nurse grace RN, BSN]

I am working on a unit where the manager relies on 2 young (early 20's) girls a unit secretary and patient care tech for her gossip. She also has these few favorites that can do no wrong. I have felt the bite of gossip 2 times now--last summer I was sent home "until I was deemed fit to work, because I was so stressed I said a course and punched a wall'. This was done due to accusations from a nameless person. I have yet to get over it but still feel it. Last week my manager told me I had a lousy, negative attitude but.... "I was a marvelous nurse, very skilled, intelligent, great with my patient care". So, I have been trying to transfer within the same institution and no luck so far--I have been ther 21+ years. I wonder if I should get a fresh clean start somewhere else. I aapreciate any advice from others with similar experiences. I am 48 years old, so I am beyond the need to gossip.

Gossip is a really ugly thing, I wish we could all just get along.

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

Gossip should be up there with the seven deadly sins. It serves no purpose and makes a lot of people unhappy. And 9 out of 10 times is inacurate.

Gossip-We were told the other week by a charge nurse that one of our co-workers sister in law had been murdered by her husband (brother of the RN) who was now on the run

Truth-Her sister in law had died of unknown causes in her bed. Husband left her years ago and was nowhere around plus it was the RN's husbands family

End Result-Trouble

[catlynLPN]

I made a decision long ago that these people were not going to run me off of my job....it's the best paying, best benefits state job in these parts and I wanted those benefits and retirement.

I'm still there and the nurse manager and her cohorts are gone and my life has greatly improved.

I do things now, like come in on an off day for the RNs who are there now, when I wouldn't do it for the past nurse manager.

Nurse managers would do themselves a great service if they didn't gossip about their subordinates and participate in any backstabbing. If they do then the person being talked is not going to be so willing to help them out when they need it, like working an off day.