Why so closed minded? WHY? - page 3

Worked with a male nurse the other night. This nurse is agency and has worked at our facility for some time. He always gives good pt care and is helpful to the aides and other nurses. As I took V.S.... Read More

  1. by   mark_LD_RN
    RNConnie that is a great way to handle it, I must say i really never experienced the problem with patients, but mostly from nurses especially when the nurse was the patient. to me any kind of discrimination is wrong, racial,gender,sexual orientation etc. should not matter. i think one day we will all realize we are professionals and this topic will stop coming up. I have traveled all over the country as a travel nurse and found the problem to be worst mostly in the south, and with the older nurses. Once they get to know me they usually come around. just like where i work now when i started the nurse manager was against me working their but the ADON went to school with me insisted they give it a try, first couple months were kinda rough. but just the other day my nurse manager came to me and told me i am all right, that i have been a godsend to her and the unit because of my knowledge ability and work ethic. she also told me that all i been getting was great reviews from all the patients,midwives,doctors and coworkers. she said she hopes i stay for ever. this made me feel very good. i wish we could all be treated as equals, i love my job and would like to pick up some work at other hospitals, but it is always a challenge to get my foot in the door.
  2. by   thisnurse
    las vegas...i agree...his loss

    if i were a male nurse i dont think id be comfortable doing an assessment on a female pt without another female in the room.
    too many whackos out there.
  3. by   jurbyjunk
    I've told this story in another thread, but I'm going to tell it again. One of my PACU cohorts is John, a Brit from the Midlands. John had a female patient "come to", look at him and say "oh, Doctor". Now, John gets a tad bit irritable when he's mistaken for a doc. He drew himself up to his probable 5ft 10 inches, and said, in a very posh Brit accent, "Madam, if you want nothing done for you, I'll get you a doctor. If you want to be taken care of, I'm your man". Although I work with some great nurses, if I need a "peer consult", I ask John.

    I've always had a "sister/brother/friend" relationship with John, able to talk about whatever turmoil was going on in my life. We've talked about our kids, the pains of our divorces, our thoughts about retirement, etc. I've always felt that I could confide in him and he would keep that confidence. And I was right. Recently, I spent 5 weeks in Zimbabwe, at the only first aide station in a 150 km radius, and I found that I was thinking about all of the things I was doing that I could hardly wait to tell him about. I wanted to tell him what it was like to watch 2 kids die of AIDS and what it was like to finish amputating a man's arm (result of a run in with a machete), etc. Yup, I've realized that I care a great deal about him. Sigh. Life's just gotten more difficult.

    LasVegas RN, you're right, there are other prejudices other than gender. I'm from Arkansas, and I drawl. As I've been known to say "I may talk slow, but that doesn't mean that I am slow". The bias that I get is that, because I'm from "down South", I am therefor racially biased, etc. I used to work with a "colored" (SA term which means mixed race) surgeon from South Africa who made this assumption the first moment I opened my mouth in his presence, not because of anything that I said but because of the accent.

    Over a period of 4 years, when we were alone, he would make sexual innuendoes to me, even ripping a uniform belt several times. When I complained to my unit manager, I was told to "just ignore him. He's just turned 50". At that time, my hospital had no sexual abuse protocol in place.

    One day he said "you don't like me, do you. You're prejudiced against me". Now, my parents were from Scotland, and believe me, I grew up not thinking too highly of "Sussenachs". So I looked at this man and said "Gee. I didn't realize that you were English". I left him sputtering.
    Last edit by jurbyjunk on Jul 27, '02
  4. by   mark_LD_RN
    thisnurse: that is something one gets used to, do you have an escourt to do exam on male patients? i a very comfortable with it as are my patients. i always give them the option i treat them in a very friendly manner not the typical sterile approach of old days. i always allow them the choice. but so far i have had no takers.
  5. by   tigger2sassy
    i have worked with both males and females in nursing over the years-- have great respect for both--as we all have something to contribute-- i appreciate a good team member and will have no regrets-- by the way guys some of my best partners were male-- hang in there
  6. by   Rustyhammer
    I havent' run into many problems taking care of female pts.
    I don't need an escort most times.
    I HAVE requested someone in the room with me on an occasion or two when I've been grabbed or propositioned by the pt.
    And it's not always the female pt. either.
    -Russell
  7. by   Fgr8Out
    I've found that ALL nurses feel more comfortable when they are assigned patients who are comfortable with THEM barring those patients who NO ONE wants <g> and there are a few of those out there, to be certain. We get all sorts of complaints/requests... patients who don't want "male" nurses, or the "ugly" nurse... there are patients who would prefer they not have the "too cute to really be a nurse" nurse or the "old hag." Do you get the picture?

    But, in general, we very rarely have patient's refuse the care of any of our nurses... and on those occasions, I have no difficulty in rearranging the assignment. I mean, if the patient is more comfortable... and if the patient feels they have been given a say in their care.... Think about it, patient's are told what to do, when to do it, how it's going to be done... they are stuck with needles, x-ray'd, CT scanned, given bowel preps... all manner of unpleasant tests and treatments... why shouldn't they have a say in who they entrust themselves to if they have a choice?

    I really don't ever take it personally, nor do my co-workers, if this or that patient refuses us on occasion. Believe me, I'd prefer NOT to care for someone who isn't comfortable with me... and put myself in the unpleasant position of later having to defend myself against charges brought about by someone who asked not to have me as their Nurse.

    Now, should a patient become verbally abusive with a Nurse, or make comments such as the ones LasVegas has had directed towards her... or if someone wrongly criticized a Nurse because he happens to be male, or a different ethnicity, or old, or overweight, or WHATEVER... I would certainly find a way to correct that misinformation and let the patient know how extremely qualified that nurse is....


    Great comments and insight from everyone on this Post!!

    Peace
  8. by   christinemj
    >>>>>The abuse issue is the sole reason I can understand for a patient being picky about the gender of the nurse... AS LONG AS the patient is EQUALLY as picky about the gender of the PHYSICIAN!

    Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense. I don't understand why some women don't want to have a female OB/GYN (or any other kind of specialist) but are perfectly content to have female nurses providing the hands-on care. I've heard the homosexuality issue bantered about with female patients not wanting female doctors as well...go figure. I understand that there are some generational attitudes out there, but the inconsistencies in the thought processes drive me mad. <<<<<<<

    Perhaps the female patient has a long-standing relationship with the male physicain, has known him for years and trusts him completely. Perhaps HE was the one who helped her after her rape, abuse, etc. Perhaps she does not want to encounter NEW male caregivers.

    I think this.. "male DR equals male nurse is Okay" mentality is very short-sighted. Without knowing ALL the details of a person's history it is wrong to think that we know best about who should and shouldn't be able to care for a particular patient.

    Aren't we supposed to be patient advocates???
  9. by   Kayzee
    In LTC position I have found that a few of our elderly females request not to have a male nurse or cna. We usually would accomadate these requests if able. Now on the other hand, we have a male nurse who many of the residents just love, " is ---- on tonight? He is attractive and one of our pts. actually proposed to him. I guess everyone has different feelings on this subject. I feel that the pts. peace of mind is important, and I would want them to be comfortable with there caregivers, so I would do my best to assist them with their request. In the future when more male nurses and cna's enter this field, pts. will most likely accept this as the norm.
  10. by   Burn NA
    I think male nurses ROCK! The ones I've worked with are very compassionate & capable. Additionally, it's great to have both genders in a work setting, for an environment dominated by either gender can have its problems.
  11. by   live4today
    Originally posted by Rustyhammer
    I havent' run into many problems taking care of female pts.
    I don't need an escort most times.
    I HAVE requested someone in the room with me on an occasion or two when I've been grabbed or propositioned by the pt.
    And it's not always the female pt. either.
    -Russell
    Hey dude......where's the braids??? Did you cut them off??? I was planning on playing with those braids when we finally meet....gosh darn it. :kiss


    Okay....teasing aside......for now.

    I LOVE....AND PREFER......WORKING WITH MALE NURSES VS. FEMALE NURSES as I get along MUCH better with men in general than I ever have females. Now.....no slam on you females or anything, but this woman prefers being surrounded by all that testosterone.

    Being a military spouse, most of any treatments and hospitalizations I have been through - or still go through - are done in military clinics and hospitals. Because of this, I have had quite a few males who are health professionals care for me.......and of course.......NO OBJECTIONS VOICED BY ME...UH..UH.. If I had my way, I would insist on an all male staff around me. YOU GUYS ROCK!!! :kiss
  12. by   live4today
    Originally posted by LasVegasRN
    Well, believe it or not, the close-mindedness is not only gender specific, but to race as well. Recently, I had a home health patient stop me at his front door saying, "I don't allow n-ggers in my home, you have to leave". Ah well. Somethings never die.
    ((((((hugs surround you from these arms in TX))))))) :kiss

    I have experienced racism on several different occasions in caring for patients....mostly older southern patients...so I can relate to what you are saying as well. I have even been known to say back to a patient....Gee, I'm soooo sorry, Mr. X or Mrs. C, but when I received report this morning, they failed to give me your special order for a nurse today. I MUST go and have a word with them because you deserve the very best. Then...I exit the room to laugh my azz off in the nurses lounge. Before I reenter that particular patient's room, I share the patient's concerns with the Nurse Manager or Charge Nurse (unless I was the one in Charge that day...then...oh well..Duh...) Anyhoo....the NM would have a word with the patient in my presence, and the patient would just succomb to my caring for them that shift. But.....BEFORE half the shift goes by, the patient is the one who makes apologies to me for their behavior, stating they were just "raised that way" and they hope I "understand". I just and continue on the same course of care and tx that I give every patient...irregardless of their cultural hx, background, gender, religion, age, or what not. I'm truly not their nurse to win a popularity contest, but to help them get better so I can discharge their azzes to home....or the casket...whichever comes first. :chuckle
  13. by   2MagnoliaTrees
    Wish you hadn't "gone there" about the Catholic Church. God Bless.

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