Why is it okay for Doctors to yell at Nurses?

Nurses Relations

Published

I'm currently in Nursing School to get my RN license and I noticed something that is bothering me. Maybe I'm still naive, I just find it baffling to hear how it's almost seen as a given that doctors at times will be disrespectful to nurses. My professors, who are all experienced RN's, frequently comment on the fact that as a nurse you can expect to be yelled at by the doctors. In almost every lecture they will say something along the lines of "if you, as the nurse, don't do exactly what the doctor wants he will probably yell at you." What bothers me most about these comments is that nobody seems to find them shocking or is even a bit upset about it. In what other profession do you hear people talk about being yelled at in such a matter of fact way?

My other question is: why do nurses accept this kind of behavior? I've never been yelled at by a doctor but my natural reaction to somebody yelling at me would be:" I'm not sure who you think you are talking to, but you don't speak to me like this." Even if you made a mistake you could say: "I know I made a mistake but that doesn't give you the right to speak to me in this tone. We are all just human."

Maybe I'm missing something here and I hope some of you will enlighten me. What is the worst that could happen if you said something like that to a yelling doctor? He would probably think twice about yelling at you again. Please help me to understand, what are nurses afraid of?

I'd love to hear some thoughts on this from you guys. Thank you!

I haven't read all the replies here,

but,

in 30+ years of nursing,

i can count on one hand the times i've ever seen a doctor actually "yell" at a nurse, (or about anything.) I've seen a few angry doctors, though, but, they did not yell. Even that is not super common, though, imo, overtly 'angry' doctors.

I could describe sometimes i've seen doctors speaking in normal tone but saying kinda nasty things. Not common, either, but, happens sometimes. Seemed more common in the past than nowadays, though.

i can't quite recall ever seeing a nurse raise her voice in anger....i'm sure it happens, but, i can't recall this right now. I've seen angry nurses, i just can't recall one that actually yelled in anger.

Lol, once i had an angry patient yell me out, (really didn't have much to do with me, at all, he was just that way)

and i said, "Ey, you can't yell at me! If i want someone to yell at me, i'll get married!"

which startled him so much, and he ended up laughing, and that was that. we became good pals after that.

Those who say they've never been yelled at or never heard a doctor yell might be forgetting or might be young enough that they don't remember.

Things have improved over the past few decades. And now that doctors are often employees, they have to behave better. They're still gods, just smaller ones than previously.

Just try not to cry, try not to yell in return. Follow the advice given here and you should be ok.

'

I'm not saying it never has happened, only that in 20 + years, it's been rare.

To the poster that said they yell back, well, I disagree with that approach. It's counterproductive to yell out or come back in kind at the person, who is, in my view, dysfunctional at this point. It's unprofessional, and only manages to escalate things, in one way or another, and gets your BP up.

Hands down, yelling back is a fail in terms of responses. Disengaging is a more effective approach. In situations like that, you also need some moral support when possible. If you can get a word in at all, you say that you will discuss concerns, but not in a loud or disrespectful tone. You have to say this in a firm, but controlled way, so they can see that you mean it.

If they are still going on a crazed rant, disengage--walk away. You are right. You don't have to take it; therefore, you walk away. It's like dealing with a child during a temper tantrum. They can have one; but I don't have to be an audience to it. As long as they are safe and not hurting themselves or anyone else, separate, contain, and disengage. After they are done acting out, you go back with kindness yet firmness and find out what is their main concern. You use the therapeutic techniques you were taught in nursing school and employ active listening. You reflect back what they said. It's a skill, but you have to want to employ it, and in my view, it is something you have to want to employ out of a sense of compassion as well as problemsolving. Either way, you can never take it personally.

With other coworkers or docs or other healthcare people, it may or may not indeed be personal--mostly it isn't; it's something going on with them. Still, I can choose not to take it personally--even if that is their intent. That is, I can choose to rise above it, be professional, and carry on with the work at hand. True, it should be addressed, as this is a form of workplace violence, and it cannot be allowed to become acceptable behavior. But it doesn't make or break me. I still have a purpose for being there, and patients that need support, monitoring, care, etc. It doesn't end my world or my life, and it doesn't effect my self-esteem, b/c I know who I am. I am sad that they are so frustrated or that they have learned dysfunctional behavior patterns, but I don't spend my time thinking about what &^*%s they are. That's pointless.

You have to decide early on how you will deal with this kind of thing, and part of that, IMHO, involves knowing who you are and the reasons for which you are there. It helps tremendously to use those theurapeutic communication techniques taught in school. The key is that you can't be a Polyanna with them. You have to be genuine. People can sense if you are genuine. The techniques are much less effective if somehow there is a sense of disingenuousness.

You are either there to help people or not. No, you don't have to take a lot of abuse, but you should understand that different people deal with stress in different ways--and there is the potential for a lot of disfunctional behavior--yes, even amongs coworkers and other healthcare people. Draw you line in the sand, strive to be therapeutic, and don't take it personally. Resentment and anger only makes the negative situation more negative, b/c now you have magnified it with inside yourself. You will take it home with you and let it eat at you. Choose to live beyond it.

No one should go into nursing or healthcare thinking that everyone will be sweetness, roses, and always appreciative. That's so unrealistic.

Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.

Uh quite obviously it is NOT OK ever. Your instructors are very irresponsibly missleading you whole class. You MUST confront them with this and challenge them. If they don't change their tune I would like to see them lose their jobs. Tell them to get with the times.

Doctors don't yell at me or my co-workers for one simple reason, we do not tolerate it ever.

Specializes in L&D, OR, postpartum, pedi, OBGYN clinic.

Usually we get condescension more than "yelling". I had one of my OBs tell me to go find her a real nurse since I was obviously not able to do her silly request. But she is just a b(*^^ and I feel sorry for her. But most docs are fine. Just stand up to them and they back down. Usually. :)

Specializes in Legal, Ortho, Rehab.
In my hospital a doctor that yells is dealt with. Abuse of staff is unacceptable says the sign by the desk. I know of one surgeon who was sent on an anger management course when he had a hissy in the OR. The OR manager document it, the nurses filed grievances, he had his OR time taken away until he went to the course and apologized.

Abuse is abuse. Doesn't matter if you have a medical degree.

No, if only management would handle patient families the same way.

Our unit needs that sign!

Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, Psych, Home Health.

I have actually witnessed the "yelling" a number of times at the hospital I used to work at. One doc in particular would get ****** about something a nurse had done ( or not done) and starting yelling at high volume and cussing. This was the norm and nothing has ever been done about it. I also witnessed him throw a chart across the room at a nurse. She was not hit, but that is not the point. We are professionals and should be treated as such. I was lucky with this particular doc, he yelled at me only once in 5 years, and it wasn't even my fault. He did apologize for that later as he realized I was not at fault. It amazed me then and now that NO disciplinary action was ever taken. He is a wonderful doc, one of the best I've worked with, but his temper is fierce. One other episode I vividly recall is during a code in ICU. We had a patient going bad, he needed to tube but could not get the bed to lower. The beds were all new and apparently no one had recieved training on how to operate them. He and another nurse were standing over this poor patient screaming and cussing at each other about the bed. He finally climbed up on a chair and tubed the patient. Then our poor manager walked in and botht he doc and ICU nurse lit into him about the beds. What a way for that poor manager to start his day.

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

I've been actually "yelled at" maybe twice in my career as a nurse, and it certainly was never thought of as OK. Usually it is a few personalities that are a problem with everyone they interact with and administration doesn't tolerate that, whether they are a physician or not.

I also witnessed him throw a chart across the room at a nurse. She was not hit, but that is not the point. He is a wonderful doc, one of the best I've worked with, but his temper is fierce.

If I was this nurse and a doctor threw a chart at me I would have pressed charges against him. How can he be a wonderful doctor who likes to assault staff?

Specializes in being a Credible Source.

I work at a major teaching hospital and I can say that, in our department, there is nothing but courtesy and respect between the physicians and the nurses... even when things have been missed, the docs are very good about simply following up to make sure things are being done...

It starts from the top: The chief does not tolerate misbehavior from his docs and the nursing management does not tolerate it, either. It is a professional environment and all are expected to behave as such.

I think the docs themselves would correct one of their own who crossed that line. Likewise, the nurses have very high standards to which we're all held, by each other.

I don't know if it's because it's academia or because the residents "grow up" with the nurses or that we're just blessed with a decent human being at the top but such places do exist.

I've never been "yelled" at. If I were, you can bet that doc would think twice about yelling at me again.
Very true. I've had a few aides/nurses who've yelled at me *once*. But you better believe they've never done it *twice*. if you stand up for yourself this kind of thing won't happen.
Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

When I was a new nurse, one of the doctors screamed so loudly at me, the supervisor came out of her office. I had asked him to make someone, at the family's request, a DNR. They were afraid to speak to him. He screamed that I was only a nurse and how dare I mention a DNR. Before the supervisor could intervene, I said in my quietest voice, "They asked me to ask you since they are afraid of you and after witnessing your behavior, I understand why. And, by the way, you're not as nice as your brother." He immediately backed down...didn't apologize but never yelled at me again. I was yelled at by a cardiologist for refusing to give 35 mg of Coumadin to a patient with an already high PT/PTT. He got in my face and hollered. I had to back up since I could smell the ETOH on his breath. I told him, again in a quiet voice, that I was not going to give a medication which might kill someone and if he wanted them to have it, he could give it himself. He stormed off the unit. Two days later, his license was pulled for showing up at work drunk.

I had a doctor scream at me in front of the supervisor for 'not giving a complete report on the phone.' The supervisor told him she was sitting next to me and heard everything I said which included ALL the pertinent information. He did say he was sorry.

This was in my first month as a nurse! I'm surprised I've stuck it out all these years.

Only one time since I started working in LTC have I seen a doctor be allowed to act like this. We had one doc who would throw charts around the room. We were told we couldn't do anything because she was from a 'protected class'. She eventually got mad enough at everyone to quit!

No one should have to be treated like this. I went to school in the early 80's and my professors told us never let a doctor yell at us.

However, I don't think yelling at someone is the end of the world. I wish some coworkers would yell once in a while, instead of all the passive agressive catty crap that goes around. I never had to deal with much of that before entering the world of nursing. Sometimes yelling and being agressive is cathartic.

+ Add a Comment