Why nurses don't want to be identified in public? - pg.4 | allnurses

Why nurses don't want to be identified in public? - page 4

It's funny. I remember hearing nurses tell stories about being in the public and not wanting anyone to know that they are a nurse. I always thought that was strange, because I've always been so... Read More

  1. Visit  SaoirseRN profile page
    10
    Quote from MotherRN

    The whole point of the post is that she would NOT be happy to talk to random strangers who invade her privacy when she is off the clock. And, nearly everyone who has posted agrees with this perspective.

    I think the demands of nursing and 'compassion fatigue' are why so many feel this way. Trust me, after shifts like mine last night, I do understand the feeling.

    I don't mean to attack the OP personally. My point is that we need to rise above it and remember we are all called to compassion for our fellow human beings, whether they be strangers or not, whether we are tired from work or not- it's our duty.

    My argument is against a very common attitude among healthcare professionals when off the clock.
    Part of compassion is recognizing when you do not have enough energy to commit. If you are too tired to give your all in such an interaction it's kinder to avoid it than to struggle to listen and respond "just because you are a nurse".

    Sometimes you just can't, and I think the point here is that just because we are nurses, doesn't mean we should, or are even able to, be there for everyone else at every waking moment. Sometimes it's kinder to recognize when your intervention would be potentially more harmful than helpful.

    After a night shift, or a busy day, I need to turn off my inner nurse and just be, and that's not selfish, that's just a fact. I'm tired. I honestly cannot give that man what he deserves. My need to have quiet time is as essential as that man's need for somebody to listen, and in that instance, I know I can't listen. If I had to be "on" 100% of the time simply because of my profession, I would be on the fast track to a breakdown.

    So I disagree that it is our duty to always give to others regardless of our circumstances. Obviously each situation is different. For me, if I can't shut down and have that time for me, I would not be able to be there for others when it matters.

    That guy at the restaurant, sure, he likely needed somebody to listen, but it was not going to ruin his life if that nurse wasn't it. If I came across a horrific accident scene on my way home, you bet I would be there for the wife whose husband is receiving CPR. You pick your battles and you pick your moments, and you recognize that you can't always be present in every instance, and you do what you have to do "for you" so you can do for others when it's needed.

    I would not have engaged that conversation either, and I don't think that means I lack compassion. I don't think it means I haven't done "my duty" as a nurse.
  2. Visit  Ruas61 profile page
    5
    I believe we are all free to determine 'our duty' in this situation.

    I grow so weary of someone else having self-appointed themselves as the spokesperson for me and other nurses. Unless, I missed the election.

    It might also be considered that the gentleman was just answering a question in a factual manner without thought or intent otherwise.
  3. Visit  hiddencatRN profile page
    4
    More than anything, this makes me want a Belgian waffle.
  4. Visit  MotherRN profile page
    0
    Quote from SaoirseRN
    I would not have engaged that conversation either, and I don't think that means I lack compassion. I don't think it means I haven't done "my duty" as a nurse.
    It's not your duty as a nurse...its your duty as a human being.
  5. Visit  Ruas61 profile page
    1
    Quote from MotherRN
    It's not your duty as a nurse...its your duty as a human being.
    You are dictating the moral compass of everyone. What gives you the right, may I ask?
    DizzyLizzyNurse likes this.
  6. Visit  MotherRN profile page
    1
    Quote from Ruas61
    You are dictating the moral compass of everyone. What gives you the right, may I ask?
    As a confirmed Catholic, I am obligated to provide good counsel when the situation arises.

    You, of course, are free to exercise your own will as to whether or not you choose to listen.

    Still it is my duty to speak up, though I realize I will be expressing an unpopular belief.

    It's Sunday. I hope you all have a peaceful day and try not to take my words as a personal attack- they were meant to challenge an attitude. Much like a Sunday homily does.
    aTOMicTom likes this.
  7. Visit  BrandonLPN profile page
    3
    Quote from MotherRN
    The whole point of the post is that she would NOT be happy to talk to random strangers who invade her privacy when she is off the clock. And, nearly everyone who has posted agrees with this perspective.

    I think the demands of nursing and 'compassion fatigue' are why so many feel this way. Trust me, after shifts like mine last night, I do understand the feeling.

    I don't mean to attack the OP personally. My point is that we need to rise above it and remember we are all called to compassion for our fellow human beings, whether they be strangers or not, whether we are tired from work or not- it's our duty.

    My argument is against a very common attitude among healthcare professionals when off the clock.
    I think engaging with complete strangers about such deeply personal matters is ill-advised.

    Doesn't really have anything to do with "compassion fatigue" or being a nurse, it would just be a very uncomfortable and awkward experience.
  8. Visit  SaoirseRN profile page
    6
    Quote from MotherRN

    It's not your duty as a nurse...its your duty as a human being.
    And it's my duty as a human being to recognize when I can't help a situation. Tired, hungry, and post night shift is not when I can just give of myself to another except in an extreme case.

    My point is, we can't be "on" all the time and I don't believe that means I lack compassion as a human being, either.
  9. Visit  Anna Flaxis profile page
    0
    Quote from MotherRN
    The whole point of the post is that she would NOT be happy to talk to random strangers who invade her privacy when she is off the clock...My point is that we need to rise above it and remember we are all called to compassion for our fellow human beings, whether they be strangers or not, whether we are tired from work or not- it's our duty.
    Huh. So you're saying that it's my duty as a human being to be happy to talk to random strangers that invade my privacy? That to do otherwise means I am lacking in compassion? Interesting. I wonder what Ted Bundy's victims would think of that?

    At any rate, since we're all throwing in our two cents, it's not really listening to a stranger's sob story that makes me not want to be identified as a nurse while off the clock. I can do that, that's easy. My biggest fear is having to do the Heimlich maneuver. Now that scares me.
  10. Visit  Mully profile page
    3
    Sweet conversation.
    Oh, and, the OP is a MAN! Not that you would have known...


    I think the two different opinions come from two different interpretations of the story, which causes the disagreement. One side sees the interaction as a light, not-very-consequential moment in time, where the other side sees it as the man deeply hurting and strongly needing someone at that very moment. Maybe he is just making conversation, or maybe his world is coming to an end. Maybe he hardly knew his mother, or maybe she was his everything. The story doesn't give us enough information, making this impossible to distinguish. Maybe you both actually agree, and would react the same way in either situation, it's just that you both read the story, and the man's needs, differently.
    zrach, Hygiene Queen, and Altra like this.
  11. Visit  Anna Flaxis profile page
    1
    I'm tiny, and I'm certain it'll be the 6 foot tall 300 pound man choking on his steak. I just know it. THAT's why I don't want to be identified as a nurse.
    DizzyLizzyNurse likes this.
  12. Visit  IrishErin profile page
    4
    Quote from ~*Stargazer*~
    I'm tiny, and I'm certain it'll be the 6 foot tall 300 pound man choking on his steak. I just know it. THAT's why I don't want to be identified as a nurse.
    I have absolutely had this fear while out as well. At a whopping 5'2", I just know someone who is over 6 feet tall iss gonna make me have to try and help them haha.

    Also. Just to throw in my two cents, I think its a little excessive to imply that someone isnt doing their duty as a decent human being for not engaging in every sad situation we may come across. Yes, that sad man may have been wanting someone to talk to, but the OP certainly shouldnt feel obligated to be that someone, nor feel badly that they didn't want to be.
    DizzyLizzyNurse, gonzo1, hiddencatRN, and 1 other like this.
  13. Visit  ex1140 profile page
    2
    Whenever, I wear scrubs in public I feel like a rock star...that's how much attention I get. Most people admire the salary attached to nursing. They assume you make this astronomical amount of money an hour...really funny to me. I do agree...sometimes it's nice to be asked medical questions...especially when I know the answer.
    workingmama77 and seaghost like this.


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