Why Do People Bully Me? - page 2
by TheCommuter 35,603 Views | 70 Comments Senior Moderator
Unfortunately, bullying is an unpleasant fact of working life for far too many employees in our society. And surveys have discovered that the two workplaces that suffer the most from bullying bosses are healthcare and education... Read More
- 10Feb 26, '13 by DoeRNGreat article. People attempt to bully me. I am a float nurse and I'm super quiet. I usually don't know anyone and I'm not outgoing so I don't talk to the other staff unless it's work related. So a lot of times people take this as an opportunity to try to belittle me. There are some nurses who will ask me a ton of questions and stuff that I don't feel is important I tell them to look it up themselves after report is over. Every single time I've said this I get a mouth drop from the other nurse and all the stupid questions stop. I'm quiet but don't mistake this for weakness.
I'll never forget one time I was floated to a gyn floor and I had never worked there before. This one nurse started rattling off all these abbreviations. I didn't know any of it. I asked her what were all those abbreviations? She yells to the charge nurse that she is not giving report to this so called float nurse because I didn't know anything. The charge nurse comes over and I interrupted and said all I asked were the meaning of all those abbreviations. The staff nurse said sarcastically what nursing school did you go to? I said which one, graduated with a with a 3.8 and passed NCLEX with 75 questions in 44 minutes the first time. I said what if I gave you report using this.... I started rattling off a bunch of chemo abbreviations and drugs, radiation oncology abbreviations, threw in some vent settings and a couple other things and asked her what did I just say? She started turning bright red. The charge nurse smirked and told her to give me report sans all the abbreviations and that I'm more than capable of taking care of the patients in my assignment. The other staff congratulated me later on in the shift because they didn't like her and she always bullied new people.
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- 8Feb 26, '13 by Kidrn911I have been bullied in the past due to my religious convictions, one is I wear a skirt instead of scrub pants. I get the third degree from people on how I should be cold and uncomfortable. It is almost to the point of harassment. If I was a Muslim and wearing Burka nothing is said, but a Christian woman wearing a modest scrub skirt, gets put down. It is ridiculous.
- 1Feb 26, '13 by LadyFree28Excellent article. I've learned in my 30+ years of life to deal with bullying-type behavior; whether it be my name, my personality, etc. I go with the flow; however, I don't take any foolishness, and I make that known!!!
My nursing program also had "scripts" to use when we "go out to the Nursing Real World".
I think about it like this: We have to advocate for I pts...so I have to start somewhere-ME!
- 2Feb 26, '13 by GraceNotesStrange ... words like harass, hostile, abuse are words found in personnel manuals to describe cause for employee reprimand or dismissal. Yet, that rarely happens. And, stranger still, if the bully isn't confronted immediately the target remains one until the target leaves. The personnel policy is written to protect the organization.
This is a good article, but makes it sound hopeless for those who have been dealing with the bully for a while. Can we hear from someone who managed to turn the situation around (not giving up or giving in) after the bully/target roles were established?Last edit by TheCommuter on May 26, '13 : Reason: removed [/COLOR] tags
- 2Feb 26, '13 by adnrnstudentThe list of reasons may be the case on some units but it leaves out the likely reasons. I will tell you so people don't get the false idea that they are smarter or of better character than everyone else.
Let me set this up, I'm not picking on anyone, just myself.
I was teased a lot growing up and people avoid me today. Do you know why? Because growing up, I was flat out the weird goth kid at school (histrionic). Today, because I was so fricking weird growing up, I never learned how to socialize so I am a introverted schizoid and people still think I'm peculiar.
I don't support bullying, but sometimes we need to look in the mirror and work on ourselves a little. I have to do it all the time.
Bullying is not right, but these articles never tell a person that maybe they need to work on some things too and it always lays the guilt and wrongdoing on the bully.
- 7Feb 26, '13 by forthebirdsI think that there are various types of bullying, an over simplified statement that a nurse allows themselves to be bullied cannot be applied across all situations. Certainly there are people who are demanding and aggressive in nature that make others uncomfortable when they have to deal with them--alone, those people can (and often need to) be put in their place and boundaries established. But there is also the bully that has endeared themselves to upper levels of staff, and has entrenched themselves so deep in a unit that others either leave or join in. I experienced this with a senior nurse and a nurse educator. Combine that duo with an interim nurse manager and it was the "inmates running the asylum". Standing up for myself did nothing, in fact it only fueled their fire. Yep, sometimes you have to bop a bully in the nose but what about the places where they have been allowed to rule supreme?
- 3Feb 26, '13 by mariebaileyGreat topic. I dealt with a bully who was covertly aggressive; she was a manipulative, undermining button-pusher. I read this book called In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding & Dealing with Manipulative People that I eventually passed on to another nurse who was dealing with the same issue. It's a great book! Lessons learned: Manipulators prey on other people's weaknesses.You need to directly confront the situation without allowing emotions to drive your reaction. Also, most bullies will be totally resistant to change initially, so you have to remain firm/consistent when you do confront a bully. Thanks Commuter.
- 7Feb 27, '13 by jadelpn GuideInteresting article Commuter, however, as an adult who works with other adults, the expectation should be that we all act in a professional manner. And have managers that nurture that concept. Bullying, non professionalism, insubordination--all behaviors that should not be tolerated on any level. And once someone applies a zero tolerance process, behaviors could change. We are all there to take care of patients--not to divide and conquer. And because one may be skilled, well liked, and outgoing--means that perhaps that same person has confidence. And able to focus on the job at hand as opposed to immature foolishness. However, it does take a strong and involved manager to be certain that people's energies are spent on patients.