Why do mean/crabby people become nurses??

txredheadnurse, BSN, RN · Jun 14, 2012

The next time you need to leave something from your shift for her to complete and she gets all irate simply laugh and tell her how funny she is. Then tell her good bye and leave. She will be so flabbergasted that you didn't respond to her attack with anger or frustration that she will be, at least momentarily, flummoxed enough to stop her tirade. It is hard to bully someone who doesn't respond as expected.

You could also try a little killing her with kindness every time she starts nitpicking and use the technique that the character of Brenda Leigh Johnson does in The Closer of Thank you! Thank you very much! That and Bless your Heart are tried and true southern ways to deflate the power of a bully.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Jun 14, 2012

Mean, rude, stupid people need to pay the bills just like everyone else. They get into nursing for a variety of reasons just like everyone else. they exist in every setting and job. everyone.

NO50FRANNY · Jun 14, 2012

Don't play this game dude, it is flat out not worth your energy. I have met so many nurses like this in my career it is almost laughable, it's largely a self esteem thing. Remember, you have a life, obviously, she doesn't. The less energy you give to this rubbish, the less fun it is for the person dishing it out. Kill her with kindness, do everything she wants with a smile and a flourish then it simply won't be fun for her anymore. When the ridiculous questions come during handover, "gosh, I don't know, I will find out for you...". Be super attentive and pander, it will stop before you know it, tried and tested tactic. Just be uber nurse and try not to let it bother you.

Trulibra · Jun 14, 2012

Very informative, thank you.

R!XTER · Jun 14, 2012

Thank you.
This nurse is not "making" anyone do anything.

No, she is not my manager and is not *making* me do anything however she is all about herself and honestly does not give a lick about the patients so long as it doesn't effect her or her license. Knowing her, she would never do the fingerstick, and then if something happened to the patient, she would say "well the finger stick was the responsibility of the previous nurse, not my fault!" Technically, yes we do finger sticks at 7a ( I work 8-8) but she has no concept of nursing being 24/7. We pick up where the previous nurse left off. I do that for all my coworkers with the understanding that most of them make a good faith effort and it is not always possible to finish all orders by 7:59...

PeepnBiscuitsRN · Jun 14, 2012

Who knows, maybe she was nice once, then became a grouchy bossy butt. Or, speaking of butts, maybe none of her undies fit anymore and she walks around with a giant mega wedgie and she tears out so fast because she can't hardly stand it anymore.

edmia, BSN, RN · Jun 14, 2012

I work in a large busy ED so I have many co-workers, many of whom I love and some who just make me feel like my head is going to explode. There are a handful who are downright nasty people, and it just makes me wonder why a person like that would become a nurse! Does being rude and obnoxious to patients and co-workers make them feel good?? Do they go home at night and count the amount of people they brought to tears and feel good about that? I can't help feeling bad for their families, I have to wonder if they are rude to their families as well...
One particular nurse really gets under my skin not only for her rudeness, but she is so hypocritical. She can do no wrong, but she will look for any reason to pick on another nurse. She literally picks apart charts and asks a hundred million questions during report i.e. "this patient's sodium is 146! What are we going to do about this?? Did you talk to the doctor???" When she takes AM report, she will not let the night nurse go until every single order has been completed.
She once made me stay until a pt's AM fingerstick had been done regardless of the fact that there was not a single other outstanding order, and the pt was NPO so would not have gotten coverage anyway, but when she gives PM report she leaves outstanding orders to do and says "well, I'm done, I'm going home, I've been here all day, you will have to do that now" The other day one pt had repeat labs due 2 hours previously to check potassium - he had come in with a K+ of 2.4, which she had never mentioned to me during report. When I pointed out that she had not done those labs, she said "oh, well you will have to ask a PCA to do that" Eventually I got the labs done, and the lab called me with a critical result of K+ 2.5. I got really nervous, since she had never told me it was low initially, and I had to start sifting trough charts only to discover it had been low the whole time...
Then yesterday, she gave me report and says "oh, I was told this pt's urine was sent, but I see the lab has not run the tests. You will have to follow up with lab, or resend the specimen" So I tried to give her a dose her of her own treatment, and I responded that she would have to do it, since the urine tests were ordered 3 hrs ago. She got so huffy and started in on how rude I am, and do we want to take this up to management?? I said, "no, I don't see a need to involve management, this is something you should have done and it wasn't done"
Luckily, just then the tests showed up as "received" by lab in the computer, so the situation didn't escalate, but she made sure to stop by before leaving and tell me again how rude she thinks I am, and how she didn't appreciate my speaking to her that way. I have been so bothered by this, her behavior is so childish and silly, it's all about her and I even pointed out to her that she had done the exact same thing to me with the fingerstick I had not done, but she was too blind to see her own hypocracy.
Anyway, that is my vent. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!! Do you work with similar types of people?

Wait, I know this nurse! Or a few just like that.

I have to say that there are very aggressive people in healthcare and it is unacceptable in a professional setting to have to deal with this bullying. I cannot believe that nurses and worse, management, put up with it. A person who treats a coworker this way should be fired. I don't care how hard your day or life is, you are at work just like everyone else so be respectful and deal. The violence in nursing is despicable.

sapphire18 · Jun 14, 2012

In a word- yes. First job: no. New job: every day.

I can understand her wanting you to do a 7a fingerstick when your shift goes until 8a. Since the patient is NPO, they may be hypoglycemic and that may need to be treated. As for finishing every single last order? You would be there way past your shift ends. I 100% agree with the "nursing is a 24-hour job" statement, as do the majority of my coworkers (esp the ones that leave a ****load of orders for you to deal with at the start of your shift).

Unfortunate, but people who have been doing this for years and years are not going to change because of something said to them by a new grad. Sorry your work environment is so hostile:/

GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Jun 14, 2012

i have one thing to say when it comes to this type of behavior among colleagues and i quote "no one can make you feel inferior without your permission" eleanor roosevelt.... just saying :cool:

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Jun 14, 2012

I have worked with this nurse. She thinks she knows how to do everything and nobody else does. It's about her self-esteem and training you to NOT leave anything for her to do. There is great hypocrisy because this nurse is often lazy and doesn't get much done during her shift.

In my experience, her bark is worse than her bite.

kcmylorn · Jun 14, 2012

Nasty people don't go into nursing. Nasty nurses are molded and groomed through the years.!!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jun 14, 2012

i work in a large busy ed so i have many co-workers, many of whom i love and some who just make me feel like my head is going to explode. there are a handful who are downright nasty people, and it just makes me wonder why a person like that would become a nurse! does being rude and obnoxious to patients and co-workers make them feel good?? do they go home at night and count the amount of people they brought to tears and feel good about that? i can't help feeling bad for their families, i have to wonder if they are rude to their families as well...
one particular nurse really gets under my skin not only for her rudeness, but she is so hypocritical. she can do no wrong, but she will look for any reason to pick on another nurse. she literally picks apart charts and asks a hundred million questions during report i.e. "this patient's sodium is 146! what are we going to do about this?? did you talk to the doctor???" when she takes am report, she will not let the night nurse go until every single order has been completed.
she once made me stay until a pt's am fingerstick had been done regardless of the fact that there was not a single other outstanding order, and the pt was npo so would not have gotten coverage anyway, but when she gives pm report she leaves outstanding orders to do and says "well, i'm done, i'm going home, i've been here all day, you will have to do that now" the other day one pt had repeat labs due 2 hours previously to check potassium - he had come in with a k+ of 2.4, which she had never mentioned to me during report. when i pointed out that she had not done those labs, she said "oh, well you will have to ask a pca to do that" eventually i got the labs done, and the lab called me with a critical result of k+ 2.5. i got really nervous, since she had never told me it was low initially, and i had to start sifting trough charts only to discover it had been low the whole time...
then yesterday, she gave me report and says "oh, i was told this pt's urine was sent, but i see the lab has not run the tests. you will have to follow up with lab, or resend the specimen" so i tried to give her a dose her of her own treatment, and i responded that she would have to do it, since the urine tests were ordered 3 hrs ago. she got so huffy and started in on how rude i am, and do we want to take this up to management?? i said, "no, i don't see a need to involve management, this is something you should have done and it wasn't done"
luckily, just then the tests showed up as "received" by lab in the computer, so the situation didn't escalate, but she made sure to stop by before leaving and tell me again how rude she thinks i am, and how she didn't appreciate my speaking to her that way. i have been so bothered by this, her behavior is so childish and silly, it's all about her and i even pointed out to her that she had done the exact same thing to me with the fingerstick i had not done, but she was too blind to see her own hypocracy.
anyway, that is my vent. thanks for letting me get that off my chest!! do you work with similar types of people?

we all work with people who make our heads feel as if they're going to explode. we all have relatives like that, and every single one of us as someone we love who is married to or involved with someone who makes us want to drop kick them off the top of the nearest tall building. that's part of life. i hope your vent made you feel better.

now for the advice: no one can make you feel inferior unless you let them. so please grow a thicker skin and resolve that you will not let anyone make you feel inferior. and then try to figure out (and i mean give this an honest try, don't just dismiss the idea) if this nurse has something valid to tell you that will help you in your future practice. perhaps she was trying to get across the idea that fingersticks are a priority, and if the patient was npo, her sugar might be low. accept and learn from the information -- let the attitude roll off your back. getting a fingerstick before the patient goes to surgery is a bigger priority than getting a urine on a new admission who probably doesn't have a foley and maybe cannot pee on command. if the urine hasn't been sent, get it when she pees.

consider the possibility that this nurse has you so riled up you're not learning what she's trying to teach you. she's not going about it in the best way, and that's her problem. but if you cannot learn from folks you don't like, that's your problem and you'll do better if you can fix that. or, you can just conclude that the other nurse is a mean, rotten human being who has nothing to teach you . . . that's your choice. but it's also your loss.