Why are nurses such back-stabbers?

Nurses Relations

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Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some nurses who feel superior when they tell on someone to the manager? This recently happened to me and I thought I had a good rapport with my co-workers yet one of them ratted me out to the boss on an off-the-cuff remark that I made. Why does this happen? Is it because the majority of nurses are women and women are catty individuals. I'm a woman btw. From now on though, I am just going to do my work, and only talk to the other nurses/aides about clinically relevant stuff only. Other than that, I'll keep my nose in a book. Actually, I won't be working at this current place much longer. There are staffing issues that put my license in jeoprady so I am starting a job hunt after the holidays.

So, why do we do this to eachother?

In addition, perhaps the fact that much of nursing is shiftwork and the groups of co-workers on shift often change from day-to-day. So instead of just seeing the same two or three annoying/slacker/backstabbing/etc colleagues day in and out and learning how to avoid the wake of their negativity, you run across more of this type more often and you don't have as much chance to figure out how best to deal with each one because not only do you not work with them every day but with each different staffing mix each day, the dynamics may change and their behavior may change. It may be easier for those bothered by these bullies/jerks/etc to ignore these folks and let them get away with more because they don't have to deal with them every day.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

It's not just women. I was in the military (predominantly men if you notice) and there was PLENTY of back-stabbing and dirt going down there, too. I hate when people blame it on being female. Most of us are NOT like that. Like anything else, the few really nasties stand out while those who are exemplary are barely noticed or recognized..

Sorry this is a hot-button issue for me, obviously. Also, consider that what you put out you get back. I have really and truly found if I kill them with kindness I get the same in return. I have great repoire with all my coworkers, as I treat them as I would have them do for me. Also, those who tried to chew me up, I took aside and made it eminently clear I would not tolerate it. They back down when you set limits, I learned, and quickly.

Another thing that you can't change so easily: if you are in a truly toxic environment, nothing you will do will change it, until you change jobs. Generalizing and complaining rarely will do it for ya.

My philosophy - Stay under the radar. Just focus on work. Don't worry about making friends. Be professional.

Unfortunately too many people try to turn their work environment into a gossip/counseling/support/friend thing. And inevitably always backfires.

Well, for what it's worth, I'm a woman and I don't gossip. I find that people like you better if you don't because they subconciously trust you more. The nurses I work with aren't too bad about it either. It's a really nasty habit.

Specializes in CCRN, CEN.
It's not just women. I was in the military (predominantly men if you notice) and there was PLENTY of back-stabbing and dirt going down there, too. I hate when people blame it on being female. Most of us are NOT like that. Like anything else, the few really nasties stand out while those who are exemplary are barely noticed or recognized..

Sorry this is a hot-button issue for me, obviously. Also, consider that what you put out you get back. I have really and truly found if I kill them with kindness I get the same in return. I have great repoire with all my coworkers, as I treat them as I would have them do for me. Also, those who tried to chew me up, I took aside and made it eminently clear I would not tolerate it. They back down when you set limits, I learned, and quickly.

Another thing that you can't change so easily: if you are in a truly toxic environment, nothing you will do will change it, until you change jobs. Generalizing and complaining rarely will do it for ya.

Blue eyes it's apparent you were never in the Infantry. It sounds as you were in some sluggo service and support unit. When you are in the grunts you take care of your business upfront and direct, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. why are there some nurses who feel superior when they tell on someone to the manager? this recently happened to me and i thought i had a good rapport with my co-workers yet one of them ratted me out to the boss on an off-the-cuff remark that i made.

what did you say? what may be an off-the-cuff remark to you may be highly offensive to someone else. i think more details are needed before we run away with all the women bashing.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Blue eyes it's apparent you were never in the Infantry. It sounds as you were in some sluggo service and support unit. When you are in the grunts you take care of your business upfront and direct, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

Pardon me, but you make some assumptions about my service that are pretty bold and a bit rude. You can agree or not with my post, but suffice to say, I consider my military experience is no less valuable or educational than yours would be. I thank you for your service to our country and would appreciate respect in kind.

Thank you.

Anyhow, back to the subject. I think flying under the radar can be useful in some situations. However, I believe in being honest and direct as well as kind. It gets you alot further and most will respect you for it.

Specializes in Med Surg/Tele/ER.

I think this depends on your personality & insecurity. Gender?? I don't know about that...I have seen plenty of males do the same thing. I personally don't care what anyone does as long as the pt is safe, & their actions do put anyone else in jeopardy. I also think a lot of people set themselves up for gossip....I am just what you see & I don't give a hoot what anyone thinks. Just my :twocents:

This is yet another thing that happends to demean our profession- all of the backstabbing. Its not woman bashing, its true. Men (not always), but most of the time tend to stay more objective. I have not begun clinicals yet, but I can say that when I have to pick a team, I many of times choose the guys. IMHO Females often focus way too much on making friends and their emotions.

Specializes in Pediatrics (Burn ICU, CVICU).
Blue eyes it's apparent you were never in the Infantry. It sounds as you were in some sluggo service and support unit. When you are in the grunts you take care of your business upfront and direct, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

Ouch! That was tacky...

Specializes in Pediatrics (Burn ICU, CVICU).
This is yet another thing that happends to demean our profession- all of the backstabbing. Its not woman bashing its true. Men (not always), but most of the time tend to stay more objective. I have not begun clinicals yet, but I can say that when I have to pick a team, I many of times choose the guys. IMHO Females often focus way too much on making friends and their emotions.[/quote']

Well, since your 17 years old, I'm sure you have us women totally figured out.:uhoh3:

Specializes in geriatric, hospice, med/surg.

Oh, how I've asked the very same question about a thousand times since having to work with the beeoches I've had to work with over the many years I've been a nurse. My answer: because they can.

Women can be the most canniving(Sp?) things on the face of the earth.

I think it's just the hormone thing. The cat (MEOW!) thing, the ill gotten brown nosing of "Look, I'm the tattletale, see me succeed! The boss likes me better 'cuz I'm their eyes and ears of the staff's screwing up! When actually, a lot of times, their boss probably thinks less of them if the truth were known, because NOBODY likes a brown nosing tell it, know it all, not even the source of the tales!

I lament having to work with all women. We are not to be trusted!

I've worked with very few who I'd even want to socialize with out of work.

I enjoy more of a circle of friends who are NOT in nursing, actually....kind of rounds out your interests and makes life a bit more enjoyable not to talk shop all of the time!

Seriously, have often wondered how it'd be to work with all guys! Or at least the majority of males in the pic.

It's a shame the way I'm slamming on females...I'm one myself!

I try to keep socializing or talking too freely in general at work especially about my personal life....it just always bites you in the end....somehow, somewhere....

My advice is in many of the posts. Do your work. Keep your butt covered.

Head down. Don't give the party that is gossiping or whatever more ammunition....

Document if you feel that there's falsehood involved. With witnesses, if at all possible.

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