Why are nurses such back-stabbers? - page 11

Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some... Read More

  1. by   supernurse65
    i believe women are women and that's what women do especially if they are threatened by a "smarter, stronger personality nurse" nurses are considered "professionals" so therefore we shouldn't gossip and back stab----wrong it's our nature. the unfortunate men who work in our field are "sucked" in to this dilemma too.

    in a factory this behavior is acceptable because they work in a factory workers and aren't professionals.

    women are women.

    nursing 101 "nurses eat their young"
  2. by   SuesquatchRN
    The best group I ever had was in programming, where I was the only American-born employee in a group of Russian-born women. It was fabulous. We all shored up one anothers' weaknesses and played off our strengths. For example, I'm a lousy code tester but a great developer. I got help testing. My boss was a beautiful administrator but her written English was lousy. I proofed and rewrote all of her memos and correspondence. I explained colloquialisms to them and they cracked up at my Russian. It was pure synergy, with absolutely no back-biting or nastiness at all ever. We even supported the one who screwed something up, sharing both blame and praise.

    I miss that crew.
  3. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I'm sorry (not really) but i will not (nor will i ever) buy or accept this tee total crap of "women are women and that's what women do" 'because nurses are mostly women, and women gossip/backstab, and that's that, that's just how it is, that's just how things are, deal with it". Spare ME.

    By some people insisting on the perpetuation and the acceptance of these unnecessary, negative, and pathetic stereotypes ("women are back stabbers, that's that," "women are gossips, deal with it"), not only are those same people slandering a gender based on a few people's actions, and excusing urine-poor behavior in a dismissive, submissive way, they are saying to others that it is perfectly fine to do so! I don't THINK so! I'm certainly not accepting it, not am i tolerating it.:angryfire

    If i were to say "men are holes" (y'all know the actual phrase i'm talking about, it's wrong, but most people have heard of it) and believe it, as often as some people on here are saying "women are catty," "women are backstabbers," etc., i'd imagine that would go over like a fart in church. Why should saying (and believing "women are gossips", etc.) or such be any different. It shouldn't be, because it isn't.


    As Ghandi once said "Be the change you want to see."
    Last edit by Marie_LPN, RN on Dec 18, '06 : Reason: oh i wasn't finished yet, by God
  4. by   TaeKwanDo Nurse
    Quote from nurse-lou
    Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some nurses who feel superior when they tell on someone to the manager? This recently happened to me and I thought I had a good rapport with my co-workers yet one of them ratted me out to the boss on an off-the-cuff remark that I made. Why does this happen? Is it because the majority of nurses are women and women are catty individuals. I'm a woman btw. From now on though, I am just going to do my work, and only talk to the other nurses/aides about clinically relevant stuff only. Other than that, I'll keep my nose in a book. Actually, I won't be working at this current place much longer. There are staffing issues that put my license in jeoprady so I am starting a job hunt after the holidays.

    So, why do we do this to eachother?
    ARE nurses such back stabbers? Not that I've noticed in my 23 years of nursing -- at least no more than I've encountered in other fields.

    It is true that the majority of nurses are women, but I've never noticed that nurses (or even women) were any cattier than men (or women) of other professions. There are going to be be catty individuals of both genders regardless of where you work. I'm working predominantly with men now, and I find that they can be just as catty and backstabbing as anyone else. Which isn't to denigrate either gender.

    I'm not sure what kind of "off the cuff remark" you made, but perhaps that had more to do with your situation than the gender or profession of your co-workers.

    As a nurse, I find it apalling that you have a problem with one co-worker, and then generalize that an entire profession (to which I am proud to belong) and gender are catty backstabbers. Why not instead think "I'm having a problem with this individual -- I wonder what I may have contributed to the problem"?

    And to all who jumped on the "women are catty" or "women are backstabbers" bandwagon, shame on you! We're all nurses here -- we should be supportive of one another rather than so quick to tear one another down!
  5. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from TaeKwanDo Nurse
    And to all who jumped on the "women are catty" or "women are backstabbers" bandwagon, shame on you! We're all nurses here -- we should be supportive of one another rather than so quick to tear one another down!

    Amen.
  6. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from taekwando nurse
    are nurses such back stabbers? not that i've noticed in my 23 years of nursing -- at least no more than i've encountered in other fields.

    it is true that the majority of nurses are women, but i've never noticed that nurses (or even women) were any cattier than men (or women) of other professions. there are going to be be catty individuals of both genders regardless of where you work. i'm working predominantly with men now, and i find that they can be just as catty and backstabbing as anyone else. which isn't to denigrate either gender.

    i'm not sure what kind of "off the cuff remark" you made, but perhaps that had more to do with your situation than the gender or profession of your co-workers.

    as a nurse, i find it apalling that you have a problem with one co-worker, and then generalize that an entire profession (to which i am proud to belong) and gender are catty backstabbers. why not instead think "i'm having a problem with this individual -- i wonder what i may have contributed to the problem"?

    and to all who jumped on the "women are catty" or "women are backstabbers" bandwagon, shame on you! we're all nurses here -- we should be supportive of one another rather than so quick to tear one another down!
    [font="comic sans ms"]good question, taekwando nurse. are nurses "such back stabbers?" or did the op just have a bad interaction with one particular nurse and then generalize to an entire gender and most of a profession? and no where do i see any reflection on that person's part that they may have actually contributed to the negative interaction with their "off the cuff remark."

    it's disappointing how many jumped on the bandwagon -- but they're obviously a part of the problem, not the solution. we should be more supportive of one another, and less dismissive of such blatent stereotyping!

  7. by   Lilac
    Quote from Stopnik
    I have to disagree. I don't like stereotyping as much as the next person. But there are certainly gender-related personality traits that permeate the profession. That is a fact - and it shouldn't be ignored. As a guy in a nursing program - read my other post where I establish my feminist credentials - I'm appalled at a lot of the behavior I witness among my fellow classmates. I am getting tired of the weekly meltdowns and public tears. The public "culling from the herd" of the people they don't like. The outright cruelty for those deemed "not part of the group." What many of the guys just blow-off, the women will escalate to the nth degree of drama. I find it down-right sad that half of my extern job interview questions related on sittuations having to deal with dealing with petty behavior from my co-workers. The directors stated "we need more men" not because I can lift more, won't get pregnant, and have fewer childcare issues - they said it because I responded "My personal life is my personal life - I'm not here to make friends but to do a job - I ignore people I don't like."

    I will sum this up another way. A huge part of my nursing curriculum seems to focus on "professionalism". WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!!!!!! Why should professionalism have to be taught? Who ever heard of an academic program teaching professionalism (I already have a Masters degree - never had to learn "professionalism")? Do you think medical schools teach "professionalism"? In fact, do you think medical students turn their post-conference sessions into teary confessionals like so many of ours seem to be? Educated women in other professions are appalled when I tell them of that aspect of my curriculum, and some of the behavior I witness on a consistent basis.

    There are many positive aspects of nursing and I'm tickled pink I've chosen this career change. But attributing gender differences to mere stereotyping ignores some hard realities our profession faces. We must "clean up our act" if we are to truly be seen through a lens of respect by others. A doctor will NEVER criticize another in public...I see RNs do this all of the time. They have learned to protect and support one another.



    You criticise others in the nursing profession for criticising their colleagues publically in the place they work. Yet here you are, in a public forum people don't even have to register to read, on the WORLD WIDE WEB, pointing a finger at female members of a profession you haven't even begun working in yet (yes, you may be in school, but the REAL education will come when you graduate and are working full time),and basically saying that nursing politics are all because of "gender related personality traits that permeate the profession." Of course, that automatically excludes you from the "we," you speak of, since you are exempt from the gender.

    Interesting. Smart. Keep publishing that rhetoric over and over, and it will eventually be accepted as gospel truth.

    I have a point for you to ponder. A large majority of those entering and graduating from medical school for many years have been women,so why aren't their "gender related personality traits" causing them to publicly criticise THEIR colleagues, as you claim?Could it possibly be because medical doctors have traditionally ALWAYS been viewed with more respect, as has that profession in general?Hmm, I think I'll ask my cousin, who is a medical student, why SHE chose to become a doctor instead of becoming a nurse

    Espousing your male feminist educational credentials while blaming female "gender related personality traits" as the main cause of nursing workplace strife is a bit ironic, to say the least.

    I don't know when you earned your masters, but many academic programs now teach professionalism as part of the curriculum (education programs and law enforcement programs are two that I can think of right now that do).In the land of reality tv, it's a cultural issue, not a gender issue.

    I I have worked in the business world, also. Comparing the business environment to the profession of nursing is like comparing apples and oranges.

    Workplace politics occurs in every profession-even male dominated ones. The difference is, in female dominated professions, it's defined as cattiness. In male dominated professions, it's "healthy competition" that weeds out those that "can't cut it."

    Didn't they teach you that at your progressive feminist university?
  8. by   blueyesue
    Quote from supernurse65
    i believe women are women and that's what women do especially if they are threatened by a "smarter, stronger personality nurse" nurses are considered "professionals" so therefore we shouldn't gossip and back stab----wrong it's our nature. the unfortunate men who work in our field are "sucked" in to this dilemma too.

    in a factory this behavior is acceptable because they work in a factory workers and aren't professionals.

    women are women.

    nursing 101 "nurses eat their young"
    it doesn't matter if you're male or female, to just accept bad behavior means people will continue with it. stupidity left alone to thrive will not get any smarter. gossip is stupidity, and everyone should loose respect for anyone who participates in it.

    just like picking your nose and farting in public, so should gossip be looked upon.
  9. by   Tweety
    Quote from supernurse65
    i believe women are women and that's what women do especially if they are threatened by a "smarter, stronger personality nurse" nurses are considered "professionals" so therefore we shouldn't gossip and back stab----wrong it's our nature. the unfortunate men who work in our field are "sucked" in to this dilemma too.

    in a factory this behavior is acceptable because they work in a factory workers and aren't professionals.

    women are women.

    nursing 101 "nurses eat their young"

    ouch.

    i'm not female and i'm totally offended with these ideas. (not you personally because i respect your right to your opinion, but the ideas presented). it just seems so demeaning. why would anyone want to enter a profession where they are going to be eaten alive and backstopped and gossiped about, that they just have to accept it has a fact of nature?

    i've expressed ad nauseum my opinion. but i also disagree with the presumption that nurses eat their young, but those opinions are in another thread.


    i disagree. it's not in the female nature to gossip and back stab.

    i also disagree with the statement that nurses eat their young.
    Last edit by Tweety on Dec 18, '06
  10. by   GardenDove
    I do think that women have, since the hunter gatherer days, had a certain role in human society to maintain the social fabric through the exchange of information, and that there is a biological imperative to do so. Certain things are more or less hardwired into our DNA, with exceptions of course. I've noticed that the skillful exchange of information within the workplace helps elevate one's status within the group. And, within that group, there is a hierarchy that is an undeniable part of it.

    Even I, a natural tomboy, have some of these tendencies. And with this tendency does have it's dark side at times. The male gender also has some innate tendencies that can be used either productively or in a negative manner. I love men, but most of them are unable to carry on a conversation and read a book at the same time! Also, they do seem to be the ones who commit violent crimes in disproportionate numbers.

    Yes, there are difference in men and women that are genetically ordained, in my opinion.
  11. by   GardenDove
    As far as nurses eating their young, I think that it's a natural dominance behaviour that social anthropologists could better explain, and is hardly limited to the nursing profession nor to the female gender. I've endured some character building initiation periods in my career, but it's a good idea to perservere and learn from it.
  12. by   SharonH, RN
    Quote from supernurse65
    i believe women are women and that's what women do especially if they are threatened by a "smarter, stronger personality nurse" nurses are considered "professionals" so therefore we shouldn't gossip and back stab----wrong it's our nature.

    speak for yourself sister. gossiping and back-stabbing may be part of your nature and it may be what you do but it does not apply to me. it's a symptom of immaturity if nothing else, not gender. period.
  13. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from tweety
    ouch.
    i disagree. it's not in the female nature to gossip and back stab.

    i also disagree with the statement that nurses eat their young.
    [font="comic sans ms"]some people are going to gossip and back stab. some male people will do it, some female people will do it, some nurses will do it, some physicians, some electricians, some flight attendants, some members of congress and some exotic dancers.

    and the statement that nurses eat their young makes me cringe. i wonder if the people who excuse their difficulties adapting to their new work environment by spouting that "nurses eat their young" have any idea how pathetic it makes them look to those of us who know better?!

    i always wonder about the self-awareness of someone who will dismiss a whole gender and most of a profession as "catty", "gossipy" or "backstabbing" because they're having difficulty with one or two (or even several) individuals. i think they need to take a good, hard look at what they may have contributed to the problem before dismissing it as the other person's fault because they're just a mean old backstabber.


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