What's the weirdest thing management has said to you?

Nurses Relations

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Based on the thank you card thread, what's the most bizarre thing said to you by management or administration? I can think of a few that will always stand out in my mind.

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When discussing our patient satisfaction surveys, our manager told me in a staff meeting, "Monkeybug, a patient would much rather have a nice nurse than a smart one. They don't care how smart you are, it doesn't matter. The "little things" are what matter! In fact, a family probably wouldn't care if you killed a patient if you were a really sweet nurse." My reply was rather colorful, and culminated with me saying, "give me the smart ***** any day if I'm the patient."

I had a negative survey once because the patient had rolling veins. The patient's comment was that I should have kept this from happening. I asked manager how I was to do this, for future reference. "Well, of course, you can't control rolling veins. But I'm sure if you just apologized enough, you wouldn't get these negative comments!" (my only negative that quarter, but enough of an issue to get called to the office)

Specializes in Adult Health.

"Going on for additional schooling is great, we'll work with your clinical schedule"---

Until it turned out that it was inconvenient when the nurse managers had to start supervising the facility on a rotating basis. Then, well, it became "You need to drop out" (which actually seemed to more like something they would have said). Let's say we parted ways soon after.

I was once a hospice nurse. Lunch, if taken at all, was eaten while driving down the road from one SNF to another. Bathroom breaks? Charting until 10:00 at night.......Then management got the brilliant idea that we should be taking some of our volunteers to lunch. I almost choked. OK, so I pick them up to take through the line at McDonalds and talk with a mouth full of hamburger while we're going 60 down the highway?

One of the less stupid ideas, actually. There were many more. One reason I don't work there anymore...when Studer Group came in, I left.

mc3 :nurse:

We had management tell us to not fill out the actual number of flushes we do on our acuity tracker, that we were only allowed three per shift. Uhm, hello, I'm an oncology RN - if we have a 24 hour infusion, I'm technically flushing that line 12 times a shift because of Q2 hour blood return checks, which uses a whole syringe, PLUS the standard checks for patency/return during shift. If they have a triple lumen apheresis line or a TL PICC, I have three lines x three flushes = nine flushes, on top of whatever else we did. So I started charting/accounting mathematically FOR EVERY SINGLE FLUSH I DID. Sometimes it was 24 a 12 hour shift depending on what was going on. This drove them nuts and they insisted I couldn't do it. OMG.

Our pushback? We weren't about to falsify a legal document! My pushback? That's fine, write me up, I'll be taking that paperwork to a lawyer and state that I'm correctly documenting, show them the parameters and the guide for the program (which they told us WAS INCORRECTLY WRITTEN - where does this stuff come from?) and am being written up for it.

They eventually relented 'in our case'. Give me a break.

Removed because I think I was saying a bit too much....

Specializes in Emergency.
We had management tell us to not fill out the actual number of flushes we do on our acuity tracker that we were only allowed three per shift.[/quote']

Forgive me for being obtuse, but how does management benefit from that?

Duplicate post - sorry!

They had some sort of hellbent idea that they could - get this - 'standardize care'. That's not the business I'm in, for crying out loud. The benefit? I have absolutely no idea. Some wondrous self-perception, I guess - but I'm with you on that one. That's what they couldn't answer. And believe me, we asked. Multiple times. Six or seven different ways. But it boiled down to this - every time:

Me: "Why is this to be done this way?'

Them: "To standardize care on the units."

Me: "Why on earth is that important? How is that even possible?"

Them: "Uh..." (literally)

Me: "What's the rationale behind this? What's the purpose?"

Them: "We want care standardized."

Me: "How exactly is that to be done? By putting in the same number of flushes?"

Them: "Well, that's how we want it."

Me: "I'm documenting according to the manual." (shows this person the manual page)

Them: "The manual's not written correctly." (I am not making this up)

Me: "Who on earth told you that?"

Them: "That's what's been decided." (In other words, someone pulled that out of their butt.)

Me: "Interesting. Did you tell that to the company rep when the program was purchased?"

Them: (realizing I'm smarter than their initial assessment, so they avoid the question) "Well, it doesn't work like that. You still only get three."

Me: "I'm not falsifying a document."

Them: "We're not asking you to."

Me: "I used fifteen saline flushes in Room XYZ yesterday. You're telling me to only account for three. How is that not falsification? I think an attorney would say it is."

Them: "Well you can only put 3."

Me: "I'm not. Write me up and I'm going to a lawyer with ALL the documentation."

Them: "Managers X, Y, and Z want it this way."

Me: "What are they going to do to us if we document correctly?"

Them: "Write you up."

Me: "I'd like to see that."

Them: "They've said they'll do it. There will be consequences."

Me: "What a load of tosh (my exact words). They'll hear from my lawyer, then, when I get paperwork. Because I will go to an attorney and I'll tell them I'm being asked to falsify a legal record - and I'll take ALL the email traffic on this subject with me where it's IN WRITING I'm only supposed to document three flushes even if I do eighteen." (We had scads of emails on this. I had them all.)

Them: (shrugging like I"m an idiot) "You can tell them [the managers] that if you want."

Me: (literally rolling eyes) "What's the purpose in all this?" (No, what's on second...this is going through my head.)

Them: "It's what they want."

Me: "Why?"

Them: "They want to standardize care." (And I'm thinking - WHO'S ON FIRST?? OMG.)

Me: "By not providing correct care? Are you kidding?"

Them: "I'm not going to argue with you."

Me: "I'm not arguing. I'm telling you, loud and clear, I am not going to falsify a legal document under any conditions."

Them: (laughs condescendingly) "Then you tell them that yourself."

Me: "Okay. Let's go right now, then." And I got up and the person telling me all this almost came unhinged. "But I need a minute to print out all those emails." (I opened up my email and literally started printing.

Them: "They'll fire you."

Me: "Then I'll sue for wrongful termination. They're going to fire me because I refuse to lie? When I have documentation FROM YOU, I might add, that is essentially telling me to? And I can say you're threatening me as well. That'll last about five minutes in a courtroom."

Apparently they realized it just wasn't going to work on me. Or the rest of my unit. And the sad thing is - ALL OF THIS IS TRUE.

I'll stick my neck out and add that the only 'benefit', if you can call it that, is we now have proof they're completely out of touch with the real world and what actually goes on in it. But that benefits us, of course, and not them.

I was interviewing for my current position and the nurses manger said, "well, aren't you cute." Uhhhh, thanks!

Specializes in Gerontology.

"Unit secretaries on weekends are a luxury!"

Apparently,the phones don't ring, there are no call bells, no visitors at the desk, no doctors, etc on weekends. Who knew?

Specializes in Public Health, TB.

During a staff meeting about how soon we needed to respond if on-call:

Staff member-- can they call on a land line instead of using the pager? My house is in a dead spot and pages don't always go through.

Unit manager--I hope your bedroom isn't a dead spot, too.

I was interviewing for my current position and the nurses manger said, "well, aren't you cute." Uhhhh, thanks!

Me: "'Kay, thanks, bye!"

LOL where do they get these people?!

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