What She Couldn't Tell You - pg.6 | allnurses

What She Couldn't Tell You - page 6

We've all met this type of mom before. It's 2330, her 8 year old daughter is struggling to breathe, and you know for a fact you saw them two weeks ago for the same thing. You also know for a fact you... Read More

  1. Visit  CountryMomma profile page
    2
    LadyFree, I remember watching a documentary about that. It was terrifying to watch people change, so suddenly. I think your comparison has merit, to be sure.
    Esme12 and BCgradnurse like this.
  2. Visit  squatmunkie_RN profile page
    2
    Quote from BCgradnurse
    SHAME ON YOU!!! Until you have walked in this woman's shoes, reserve your uneducated and cruel judgements. These situations are not that simple, and leaving is not as easy as you make it out to be. Physical and emotional abuse can leave you unable to think rationally. It is a form of brainwashing. I really hope you are able to keep these thoughts to yourself when treating patients. I have a feeling you're just as judgmental about other things.
    So, if the dad beats the child to death, or the child dies of a severe asthma attack because the mom didn't have her medicine, who do you think the courts are going to hold responsible? Both parents. The mom for staying in that relationship and allowing a man to abuse her child is almost as bad as the abuser. She too will serve some jail time if the child winds up dead at the father's hands.
    imintrouble and SoldierNurse22 like this.
  3. Visit  canigraduate profile page
    3
    Quote from Kooky Korky
    For those who have no sympathy for the abused, maybe you need to experience it in order to understand?
    What, again? No thanks. What a nonjudgmental, tolerant, nonviolent response (insert eye roll). I was rooting for the lady and mad at the mean ol' nurse until the part about the drunk husband in the car with the gun. I have a lot of sympathy and tolerance, but only up to a point. After that, well, I've done all I can (or had all I can tolerate) and it's up to you to get yourself out of your own mess.I stand by what I posted.I am sorry that the OP was in that situation and I hope she learned enough not to repeat the pattern.
  4. Visit  canigraduate profile page
    3
    Quote from SoldierNurse22
    Yes, DV is a complicated issue, but in the end, it is that uncomplicated sense of self-preservation that often pulls a woman out of a DV situation. That prevailing logic that canigraduate and sionainnRN reference in their less than popular posts is eventually what saves them, and often times, we find ourselves wishing we had jumped ship earlier, because anyone who's been in a DV situation before knows that it just gets more and more intense the longer you stay.I find it ironic that those commenting here seem to assume that because one disagrees with mom's actions, they were never abused themselves. That mirrors the prejudice espoused in the story, perhaps even more so than the original storyline.
    Thank you.
  5. Visit  Nurse Medicine Woman profile page
    0
    SionainnRN

    When I said the mother is a GOOD mother for taking her child to the ER when her child had difficulty breathing I said a GOOD mother and I was referring to
    a) the child needs emergency treatment - she knew this and took action - to the ER and
    b) a GOOD mother because she si taking her kid who needs EMERGENCY treatment to the ER KNOWING that the nurse is judging her, for being there but doing it anyway - WHY? because her daughter needs treatment. I was referring to that GOOD when I said she is being a good Mom.
  6. Visit  Nurse Medicine Woman profile page
    0
    Countrymomma

    "That woman was my Mother" HUGS and more hugs!! I will repeat what I said earlier Judgment has no place in nursing.
  7. Visit  PinkLady24 profile page
    1
    I'm so happy I got to see this story. I feel it spoke to me for a reason. I was that mother tonight at the ER. My son had a fever that resulted in an asthma attack. I felt the weight on my shoulders when I talked to the nurses and the doctor. I saw how the doctor tried telling me with a smile, but her voice cut on edge. I knew the nurses and I heard them talking about me, and I felt so ashamed. I did my best to help my son, but like in that story, there's always more to it. I'm glad this was the first thing I saw tonight after coming home with a healthier child. Maybe this experience will help others see from another's point of view and feel also.
    Anderson11 likes this.
  8. Visit  Esme12 profile page
    3
    Quote from squatmunkie_RN
    I'm sorry. I understand everyone has a story to tell. But if this is true she is a poor mother. If you have a kid you put them 1st. By being not calling the police, not reporting all this she is endangering her child. If a woman wants to stay in that sort of relationship, fine. Don't do it to your children then hide behind some "battered woman's syndrome"

    Now everyone you can ream me. Go ahead, but nothing will change my mind.
    As a victim of DV many many years ago....it is stunning how you end up there and how hard it is to get out. I pray that you never find yourself there. The emotional abuse and tearing apart any shred of self respect....they separate you and alienate those important to you. They isolate you and make you believe that you are somehow responsible. I look back at that now and wonder who was that girl....I feel sorry for her. I refer to that time as my previous life for I can't believe that this person in this lifetime ever got into that position.

    Before you pass judgement remember....There but for the grace of God go I.
    Anderson11, Guttercat, and poppycat like this.
  9. Visit  LadyFree28 profile page
    1
    Quote from PinkLady24
    I'm so happy I got to see this story. I feel it spoke to me for a reason. I was that mother tonight at the ER. My son had a fever that resulted in an asthma attack. I felt the weight on my shoulders when I talked to the nurses and the doctor. I saw how the doctor tried telling me with a smile, but her voice cut on edge. I knew the nurses and I heard them talking about me, and I felt so ashamed. I did my best to help my son, but like in that story, there's always more to it. I'm glad this was the first thing I saw tonight after coming home with a healthier child. Maybe this experience will help others see from another's point of view and feel also.
    (((HUGS))) Be safe, and well.
    Anderson11 likes this.
  10. Visit  FranEMTnurse profile page
    0
    From CountryMomma "That woman was my mother." Great story dear. When I was a child, we had neighbors who were both alcoholics with 4 children. The father beat the mother several times. I even saw the inside of their house destroyed, and the outside door torn off their house. Then one day she killed herself by driving into a field, and landed upside down in a stream. My cousin found her.

    Thankfully, we have local resources for women in this situation. However, a nurse who worked at our local medical center was shot to death by her husband as she was walking to her car in the hospital parking lot after getting off the third shift. They had recently separated.
  11. Visit  nicurn0213 profile page
    1
    Humbling!! Very well written!
    Anderson11 likes this.
  12. Visit  Conqueror+ profile page
    2
    I have often wondered why some women (I say women because that is my scope of reference) can walk into a room and be attracted to the ONE man that will abuse them. Why some women can go to a millionaire's conference and hookup with the one man that won't buy them a cup of coffee. Abusers are controlling monsters who can imprison you. The question that we often don't ask is why the woman CHOSE them at some point. Why did you have the 3rd, 4th, and 5th child? Why did you leave him and choose another one JUST like him ? There is something wrong with him for his behavior and you for choosing him. Some people do choose the victim role over and over. Some leave and meet a good person and cannot function in a relationship where they aren't mistreated.
    SoldierNurse22 and Spidey's mom like this.
  13. Visit  Spidey's mom profile page
    3
    No matter what, you get out when there is a child involved. You should get out regardless but you are responsible for yourself. When a child enters the picture, you must leave.

    No excuses.

    I will judge that. As mentioned before by some of us . . we have lived through abuse as children. We aren't coming from some place where we don't know what we are talking about. Get me out of the situation mom or dad. It is up to you. Be my hero.


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