Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 23

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   squeakykitty
    Quote from mamason
    If she was a nurse, then, she was a clueless one. This was basic nursing school stuff. I believe she was trying to blow smoke up everyone's butt or forgot to take her meds that day. Either way, she was a not only a cazy RN want to be, but a danger to her father.
    It is basic, which makes me wonder if she was a nurse at all. She was a danger to her father, and I hope this was addressed with the higher ups at the hospital.
  2. by   mamason
    Quote from squeakykitty
    It is basic, which makes me wonder if she was a nurse at all. She was a danger to her father, and I hope this was addressed with the higher ups at the hospital.
    I reported it to my manager. The daughter lives out of state. SO, I'm not sure what has or will become of it.
  3. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from squeakykitty
    i think i would tell her that if she was a nurse, then she should know better about how to deal with a chest tube. judging by her answer to where she worked, i don't think she is a nurse at all.
    [font="comic sans ms"]i think it depends upon how you define "nurse." anyone with a degree and a license is a nurse, whether or not they've ever actually worked in the field and even if the degree is 30 years old. i recently took care of a patient whose girlfriend supposedly knew everything because "she's a nurse." turns out she went to nursing school in the 80s, passed her boards and started a job. she couldn't hack it and was fired after less than six weeks. she's been running a restaurant since. but she's a nurse all right!

  4. by   EarthChild1130
    More from outpatient psych...Don't get me wrong...I love my job and MOST of my patients...but those few frequent flyers with no Axis I diagnosis...

    1. For god's sake, just tell me YOU SOLD THE ATIVAN...stop making up stupid excuses...as much Ativan as you claim your dog has eaten, he would be dead by now.

    2. I'm not your 'baby' or 'sweetheart' and if you call me that one more time while I'm staring at your bare bottom about to give you your Haldol Decanoate, I will switch to the 2-inch needle...

    3. There are people in this world, who visit my clinic every day, who actually NEED the services that I am glad to provide...coming in here saying 'If you don't call in 2mg of Xanax for me to take every 4 hours, I'm going to kill myself' is NOT going to work...if you feel like killing yourself, I will call an ambulance for you and have the hospital put you on a hold...they probably won't give you 2mg of Xanax every 4 hours either.

    4. If your order says take ONE Rozerem nightly, just take one...although it doesn't matter if you take one or a hundred..you'll get the same effect with Rozerem...which is why you don't like Rozerem and want to be put back on Seroquel, right?

    5. You get half as much money as I do every month, and you live in a VERY nice apartment...stop panhandling and telling people you're homeless so they'll give you money to buy meth with since you gambled your check away!
  5. by   AngelfireRN
    OK, first let me say, before you flame me, I have no problem with obese people who have a medical condition that causes them to be that way. I knwo that they can not help it. And when I worked bedside, I did not say anything weight-related to their face. Now that I am about to graduate as an NP, I include it as part of my teaching. If done correctly, it can be benficial for both parties. OTOH, if the patient is so far in denial that nothing will penetrate that "Oh, go stuff it, you little pixie" attitude ( I'm 5'4 and weigh about 130, more than I want to, but, hey, genes are a mother sometimes), then there's not much you can do. Case in point:

    My DH and I took my MIL and my 2 nieces out to eat this past weekend. Many of you may remember my previous post about said MIL, in the sense that she is a textbook bipolar who insists that she is fine, takes no meds, and makes the thought of a root canal sans anaesthesia preferable to any length of time in her company. I went to this dinner in the spirit of good daughter-in-lawhood, thinking" I can get through this". WRONG!!!!!

    My MIL will go about 200 pounds. Not morbidly obese, I'll agree, but when you have to sit there and hear about her foot condition, her shoulder problem, her sinus ailment, and the fact that she's so "tired", it's enough to make you want to do the V8 forehead thump.

    I sat there and watched this woman inhale 3 fried catfish in less time than it takes moat people to say "amen", finish off what my nieces did not eat (also fried catfish), and polish off some fries and hushpuppies to boot. Then, as we are finishing the meal, she pats her little lips with her napkin, looks at my DH, and says "I can only eat one fish anymore."

    WTH?!?!?!?

    All the time we've been married, my DH had said that his mom has a "thyroid condition". I have never believed it. You can not make me believe it. If she had hypothyroidism, she would be on meds, she's not. You ask what kind of condition,

    "She had it cut out."

    "Where's the scar?"
    "That kind of surgery don't leave scars."

    "Why is she not on medication if she had it 'cut out'?"

    "I dunno."

    "Who's her endocrinologist?"

    "What's that?"

    :selfbonk:

    And this is from a man who says he can do my job!

    So, to what I would love to say to this woman, who thinks I will take her as a patient:

    "You need help. You need meds. Lots of them. By the tubful. Like, ten years ago, even."

    "You are not coming near my future children until you have had a complete psychiatric workup and are medicated. Call me what you want to, cry to my DH, it ain't gonna change my mind. My poor nieces always got hurt at your house when they were little, because you don't watch them. You're dangerous."

    "If you think that I will take you as a patient when I am an NP, free of charge, simply because you're family by marriage, think again. You don't listen to anything I tell you now, take none of the advice I give you, and wonder why you don't feel better. If you don't listen to me now, why should an extra set of letters behind my name make any difference? Why should I set myself up for failure from the beginning? I can't even get a straight answer from you about your medical history, so how can I , in good conscience, treat you?"

    I would post what exactly I did say to the "I can only eat one fish" comment, but I'd get flamed for sure. My point was that, all prejudice aside, in any manner of addiction, there are those who want help, and those who don't. I try and help those I can, and just pray that the others come 'round before it's too late.
  6. by   squeakykitty
    Quote from ruby vee
    i think it depends upon how you define "nurse." anyone with a degree and a license is a nurse, whether or not they've ever actually worked in the field and even if the degree is 30 years old. i recently took care of a patient whose girlfriend supposedly knew everything because "she's a nurse." turns out she went to nursing school in the 80s, passed her boards and started a job. she couldn't hack it and was fired after less than six weeks. she's been running a restaurant since. but she's a nurse all right!
    i would think that anyone who did go through school and pass the boards would have enough sense not to mess around with a chest tube, and certainly know where it hooks up. i learned that the first semester before clinicals.
  7. by   squeakykitty
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    OK, first let me say, before you flame me, I have no problem with obese people who have a medical condition that causes them to be that way. I knwo that they can not help it. And when I worked bedside, I did not say anything weight-related to their face. Now that I am about to graduate as an NP, I include it as part of my teaching. If done correctly, it can be benficial for both parties. OTOH, if the patient is so far in denial that nothing will penetrate that "Oh, go stuff it, you little pixie" attitude ( I'm 5'4 and weigh about 130, more than I want to, but, hey, genes are a mother sometimes), then there's not much you can do. Case in point:

    My DH and I took my MIL and my 2 nieces out to eat this past weekend. Many of you may remember my previous post about said MIL, in the sense that she is a textbook bipolar who insists that she is fine, takes no meds, and makes the thought of a root canal sans anaesthesia preferable to any length of time in her company. I went to this dinner in the spirit of good daughter-in-lawhood, thinking" I can get through this". WRONG!!!!!

    My MIL will go about 200 pounds. Not morbidly obese, I'll agree, but when you have to sit there and hear about her foot condition, her shoulder problem, her sinus ailment, and the fact that she's so "tired", it's enough to make you want to do the V8 forehead thump.

    I sat there and watched this woman inhale 3 fried catfish in less time than it takes moat people to say "amen", finish off what my nieces did not eat (also fried catfish), and polish off some fries and hushpuppies to boot. Then, as we are finishing the meal, she pats her little lips with her napkin, looks at my DH, and says "I can only eat one fish anymore."

    WTH?!?!?!?

    All the time we've been married, my DH had said that his mom has a "thyroid condition". I have never believed it. You can not make me believe it. If she had hypothyroidism, she would be on meds, she's not. You ask what kind of condition,

    "She had it cut out."

    "Where's the scar?"
    "That kind of surgery don't leave scars."

    "Why is she not on medication if she had it 'cut out'?"

    "I dunno."

    "Who's her endocrinologist?"

    "What's that?"

    :selfbonk:

    And this is from a man who says he can do my job!

    So, to what I would love to say to this woman, who thinks I will take her as a patient:

    "You need help. You need meds. Lots of them. By the tubful. Like, ten years ago, even."

    "You are not coming near my future children until you have had a complete psychiatric workup and are medicated. Call me what you want to, cry to my DH, it ain't gonna change my mind. My poor nieces always got hurt at your house when they were little, because you don't watch them. You're dangerous."

    "If you think that I will take you as a patient when I am an NP, free of charge, simply because you're family by marriage, think again. You don't listen to anything I tell you now, take none of the advice I give you, and wonder why you don't feel better. If you don't listen to me now, why should an extra set of letters behind my name make any difference? Why should I set myself up for failure from the beginning? I can't even get a straight answer from you about your medical history, so how can I , in good conscience, treat you?"

    I would post what exactly I did say to the "I can only eat one fish" comment, but I'd get flamed for sure. My point was that, all prejudice aside, in any manner of addiction, there are those who want help, and those who don't. I try and help those I can, and just pray that the others come 'round before it's too late.
    No flames here. I don't blame you for not wanting to deal with her.
  8. by   Otessa
    NO, NO, NO, i most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).


    OMG!

    Prior to smoking rooms and smoking on campus period went away we used to have to 'escort' our patients outside if they wanted to smoke. I hated this!!

    Otessa
  9. by   HeyJude
    I'm a pretty crunchy kind of gal. I have a shirt that says "The Hippies Were Right", if that gives you any idea of the kind of things I believe.

    So if you don't want the Vit K, Emycin, Hep B, or PKU for your baby, I will probably be ok with that. However, if in the next breath you ask me when he will be circumcised, I WILL wonder where your thinking cap is.
  10. by   mscsrjhm
    I would KILL (just an expression) to tell a patient;
    "You and I both know that you are not allergic to Tylenol, Motrin, Aleve,or Aspirin---Everybody knows you want the narcotics, so JUST SAY IT!!!".
  11. by   gentlegiver
    I work LTC, I would LOVE to tell family members "your MOM (Dad or Loved one) may have ALZ, but you really need to speak to Psych about yourself!" Or "Did you notice the other 39 residents in this unit??? They need me too!"
  12. by   athflvr
    An ER nurse brought me a patient one morning who was a sweet, wonderful, delightful woman. Old as Moses and still smoked, drank a little, lived alone, took care of her grandkids and herself. Really she was wonderful and most of her family was too. Of course it was one of THOSE families that all had to hang out with Mom/Grandma the whole time she was there. They had been with her in the ER too. When it was time for her to come to the floor not one of them thought to pick up her bag of belongings and bring it with them. So when THE daughter arrived on the floor she took me aside and immediately started fussing about her mother's clothes. Those were new shoes - only two weeks old - and they kept them in the ER. THAT NURSE kept them. I told her I would go down to the ER and look around when I got a minute but was sure we'd find them Not to worry. In the next half hour she cornered everyone who would answer the call light or walked down the hall to accuse THAT ER nurse of stealing her mother's shoes, pants, dainty underthings and shirt.

    Now I know this nurse, he's young enough to be my son. Strictly interested in his health and fitness and is as nice and nice looking as he can be. I'm sure he really wanted this 90 year old woman's cigarette smelling clothes and those shoes- those crepe taupe shoes - that were only 2 weeks old. I brought the bag of clothes back to the floor, I went just to save my coworkers and the other visitors from her - I looked at the daughter with the most amazed look I could plaster on my face and said "Did you really think that nurse wanted your mother's clothes? REALLY?.....REALLY???"

    Some people
  13. by   HangTen!
    In all seriousness, couldn't family nurse have action taken against their licenses for operating out of their scope ie giving a med in a hosp, not properly documenting etc etc and for the other issue of disconneting a chest tube. If this type of thing would occur, I'm sure we'd see less super nurse wanna be a dr type and ain't no body gonna tell me what to do's, keeping their paws to themselves ie their truly assigned patients.

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