Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 192

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   AngelfireRN
    OK, I'll confess, I've done that, too. This one guy, who had had so many IV's by the time I ever walked in that he looked like a pincushion (Phenergan will do a NUMBER on veins), muat have been sitting on his call light. It was that constant.

    Finally, I noticed that, the more saline I flushed with, the longer the interval between tunings-up. So, I walked in with a whole 10cc syringe full and told him that he could not tell anyone I gave him that much, I'd get in trouble. Not a peep the rest of teh night. Slept like a rock. NM was aware and supportive, and the MD wrote it as an order the next morning 'titrate NaCl to comfort'.

    Not the most ethical of practices, but I was a new nurse then, too.
  2. by   Lynx25
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    'titrate NaCl to comfort'.
    I love this so much....
  3. by   whichone'spink
    Oh, if only placebos were still allowed in certain cases. If I were to do that as a new nurse, my ass would be canned faster than I could say "But..."
  4. by   AngelfireRN
    "Sir, this is not a game show, this is your son. Yes, I realize divorce must suck. Yes, I'm sure your ex-wife DOES make Mephisto bear a striking resemblance to the archangel Gabriel. No, I'm not going to play 20-questions about your son's condition."


    To the man who brought his son in, after the mother had taken him to the pedi 5 hours earlier, and refused to tell our nurse the diagnosis, saying, "I'm not going to tell you. I want to see if y'all say the same thing he did."
  5. by   sharpeimom
    Quote from whichone'spink
    oh, if only placebos were still allowed in certain cases. if i were to do that as a new nurse, my ass would be canned faster than i could say "but..."

    my husband's great uncle was in assisted living and got very upset when he couldn't have his beloved liquid dimetapp as often as he thought he needed
    it, which was often every hour or so.

    finally, his pcp said to give him grape juice every time he asked for his beloved dimetapp. it was done with the family's blessing and permission because they
    had tried unsuccessfully to wean him off it for years. he never questioned that
    it was thinner. the family provided the juice and it was ordered as a "nutritional
    supplement" and all was well again.
  6. by   Fuzzy
    No Dawn dishwashing soap will not kill fleas on your pet. It just gets them wet and clean. It does wash the weak ones down the drain but the strong ones hang on and survive. <Actually I did say this>

    How can you call yourself a nurse when you have no idea what an IV catheter is?

    Feeding your overweight diabetic schnauzer kibble's and bits is a bad idea.

    Why are you spending big bucks on an ingredient restricted diet and then feeding your dog beggin strips?

    No it is not okay to keep your dog in your black car in the 90F+ heat. We hate trying to revive DIC (Dead in Car) cases from DIC(Disseminated intravascular coagulation) and heat stroke. Bring your dog inside.

    Shoot that child.

    Yes dogs do break when they jump or get thrown from truck beds. Yes that surgery to repair the open femoral fracture is going to cost you some big bucks. You are really #### stupid for putting your dog back into the truck bed after paying $2500 to have the leg plated.

    Fuzzy
  7. by   Aurora77
    You don't know how happy I was to get to work last night and find out you'd been discharged. Thanks for leaving!
  8. by   Mandychelle79
    Yes I understand that people say things off the cuff when they are angry, but a behavioral health unit that you are trying to be discharged from is not the place to say you would like to kill someone and dont care about the consequences. Oh wait, I did say that to someone...
  9. by   ElvishDNP
    Want to know why your baby is screaming and won't stop? Try going without your drug of choice [you know, the one your baby was exposed to for 9 months] for a good long time and see how you feel.
  10. by   Mandychelle79
    Yes I know that we reprimanded you for punching another patient in the face after that patient punched a staff member in the face, but in all honesty I wish you would have punched harder and I was cheering inside when you did it.
  11. by   Lynx25
    If your entitled a** tries to hit me ONE more time, I will snap that fist off at the wrist.
  12. by   NayRN
    What I actually said: "I understand that it is inconvenient for you to pick your aunt up from the hospital today and you will not be back in town until next Tuesday. However, there is nothing more we can do for her medically, and the Dr. has written discharge orders. As the DPOA, you have discussed discharge options with the social worker on several occasions and have opted to bring her home with you rather than seek nursing home placement. She does not qualify for SNF as she has been declining to work with PT and will not eat or drink. You were told that she would be discharged sometime this weekend. Yes. I understand that it is a holiday weekend. If there is no one else that can pick her up and care for her until your return, I guess we will see you Tuesday."

    What I wanted to say: We are neither an adult daycare service nor a nursing home, we are an acute care medical floor, and we could use the bed. I cannot guarantee medicare will pay for the remainder of her stay as she has no reason to be here and will most likely be changed to OBV status. Furthermore, how do you expect to be able to provide total care to your aunt once she comes home if you can't even bother to be available to take her home from the hospital? This seems like a potential neglect situation to me. But the good news is, we now have 2 more days to involve the social workers in assessing the situation further, and you will most likely receive a visit from the Dept of Health and Senior Services after we hotline you just to make sure everything is ok at home. Have a great vacation, and we will see you on Tuesday!
  13. by   opossum
    To a pt's family member: I seriously doubt you'd pass "the nursing test" just because you've "been in and out of hospitals so much."

    Also, please DO NOT touch the ventilator settings. (I actually did say this loud and clear...This same family member offered to "mess around" with the vent whenever it beeped.

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