Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 191

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   wooh
    As an 18+ year old adult, you checked yourself into a pediatric hospital. You have a choice to go elsewhere, so if you're not happy with your care, take your adult butt that's currently using very adult language and go to an adult hospital.
  2. by   Poi Dog
    Thanks for noticing that I use gloves. I realize that your last caretaker did not use them and therefore you are insulted that I use them while providing care on you. So put a lid on it because I am going to continue using gloves.
  3. by   Mandychelle79
    Maybe next time you decide you want to go to rehab for your drug addiction it would be a good idea NOT to say you are planning on killing your self with an overdose to get into one. By saying those magic words, when no bed was available at a rehab or dual diagnosis facility they have to keep you safe, which means, you are stuck with me ( and unfortunately me with you) until either the doctor decides you are safe to go home ( which he will not do since you are refusing to see him) or a rehab bed is found.
  4. by   TX.RN.Shannon
    No more posts? :-(
  5. by   TX.RN.Shannon
    I had a mom tell her young daughter "if you don't behave, she's gonna give you a shot." I bent down and told the little girl, "actually, I.only give shots to sick people AND mommies who lie to their kids."

    Oh, how satisfying!!!
  6. by   soapaddictOH
    To the patient who has been in the ER weekly for "overdosing" on pills.... next time don't call a squad.

    To the patient who is drug seeking and lying about it... "Oh you were here 3 days ago and got a prescription for Vicodin from one of the other ER docs? Guess what!!! We can look up your record online, it's called an OARRS report!"

    "No, it's not a Teckmus shot. You aren't allergic to Sulfur. The medicine that starts with 'D...di...de...' is called Dilaudid. I'm making damn sure the doctor doesn't order it for your toothache you have had for 2 months."

    I'm pretending like Sodium Chloride is a new wonder drug, and I'm calling it Nackle and giving it to you as a big bolus while I tell you that it's stronger than Dilaudid.
  7. by   brillohead
    Quote from soapaddictoh
    i'm pretending like sodium chloride is a new wonder drug, and i'm calling it nackle and giving it to you as a big bolus while i tell you that it's stronger than dilaudid.
    i think i love you!!!!
  8. by   carrie_c
    When I told you not to get out of bed by yourself, that is EXACTLY what I meant. You just had major surgery. But since you decided to get up anyway, I should just let you lie in the floor. Do you know how hard it was to get your 400 pound butt back in the bed, and how many nurses I had to find to help?? And NO, you can NOT have more morphine because you hurt yourself from the fall. That's what you get.
  9. by   mnickol1
    Please stop ringing this darn csll light every five minutes
  10. by   ElvishDNP
    My job is not to be your friend. My job is not to be 'nice'. My job is to get you well so you can go HOME. No, I will not wipe your tail here. You wiped it at home and your sudden onset T-rex Syndrome ain't getting sympathy from me.
  11. by   rnlately
    Quote from soapaddictOH
    To the patient who has been in the ER weekly for "overdosing" on pills.... next time don't call a squad.

    To the patient who is drug seeking and lying about it... "Oh you were here 3 days ago and got a prescription for Vicodin from one of the other ER docs? Guess what!!! We can look up your record online, it's called an OARRS report!"

    "No, it's not a Teckmus shot. You aren't allergic to Sulfur. The medicine that starts with 'D...di...de...' is called Dilaudid. I'm making damn sure the doctor doesn't order it for your toothache you have had for 2 months."

    I'm pretending like Sodium Chloride is a new wonder drug, and I'm calling it Nackle and giving it to you as a big bolus while I tell you that it's stronger than Dilaudid.
    OMG; not "nackle"....lol. Where I work we call it "saleenie"...lol.
  12. by   redhead_NURSE98!
    Quote from soapaddictOH
    I'm pretending like Sodium Chloride is a new wonder drug, and I'm calling it Nackle and giving it to you as a big bolus while I tell you that it's stronger than Dilaudid.
    An agency nurse at work told me she really does this!!! She's like, "What? I'm not lying, it's NaCl, and it's on the MAR as a medication, and it works!" lmao
  13. by   carrie_c
    Haha! Yea, I had a patient who kept requesting Morphine even though she had already had a ton of it. So everytime I flushed her IV, she for some reason thought I was giving her morphine! I never told her it was morphine, and she never asked! But that 'morphine' she got sure worked wonders! lol!!

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