Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 160

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   RNforLongTime
    How about you shut your yapper and listen to what the KIDNEY SPECIALIST is telling you rather than try to argue with him. HE is the one who went to medical school and completed a fellowship while you barely finished high school.
    So please, open your ears and shut your mouth and LISTEN TO WHAT THE DOCTOR IS TELLING YOU!!
  2. by   annister
    "sure, I can run your chemo in wide open so you can get to your important appointment...I didn't realize your appointment involved a ride to the ER via EMS. How silly of me. "
  3. by   redhead_NURSE98!
    No, you can't go home early and "drink a lot of water" instead of staying here another night and receiving IV fluids like the doctor ordered. Really, you can't. I promise, it's not the same thing.
  4. by   NoAverageLPN
    Be nice or its all meds per rectum for you!
  5. by   Java_Wench
    It's taken me almost four days, but I've read this entire thread. And I feel so much better. I'm not a nurse. Hell, I'm just a pre-nursing student at this point. But I feel better because having read these...it seems that people are people no matter what field you work in. Having been in customer-service related fields for 20 some years, I've been called every name in the book. I've had things thrown at my head by mentally addled individuals. I've dealt with truly horrid people who seem to have no other goal in life but to make me cry. I'm sort of used to it....so oddly enough, this thread has made me feel much more "at home" (that's a strange way to word it, but it works) about going into nursing. Does that make me a masochist? Hmm...maybe. LOL
    Reading these has also made me happy to know that when I've been in the hospital I've been a decent patient. I was worried because when I had my daughter last year, once we were settled in our postpartum room, the nurses kept offering me pain meds, and I kept refusing because honestly, I felt okay. A little sore, but not anything as bad as after my ankle fusion...so why take stuff if I didn't need it? They kept offering and I kept saying "no thanks, I'm groovy"...and I was worried that they were getting annoyed with me but seriously, after finally meeting my daughter, and finally getting something to eat (no food or water or anything for 24 hours), I was happy as could be. I felt awful if I had to use the call light for anything (I kept apologizing to the nurse who had to come because I was bleeding all over everything suddenly). But hey..good to know what annoys and what doesn't in case I'm every a patient at a hospital again!
  6. by   NewAggieGrad09
    You came in for a GI issue. Yes, if the doc says he wants strict I&Os, that includes your stool, as well. Trust me, I would like nothing more than for u to flush that rank sh*t down the toilet...stop looking at me like I'm making you do it for general purpose.

    No, I will not take your IV out until you walk out of the door. And yes, if you take it upon yourself to take it out, I will have another one put back in. :-)
  7. by   NewAggieGrad09
    Your son is 4 months....I'm pretty sure he will not think he is gay just because I have to stick a rectal thermometer up his yahoo. You brought him here for fevers, so I'm taking the temp. And btw, that gay comment if offensive...
  8. by   redhead_NURSE98!
    Quote from NewAggieGrad09
    Your son is 4 months....I'm pretty sure he will not think he is gay just because I have to stick a rectal thermometer up his yahoo. You brought him here for fevers, so I'm taking the temp. And btw, that gay comment if offensive...
    Oh my God. I just scared my cat by laughing so loud at that. Who THINKS that kind of stuff, let alone says it? lol
  9. by   shoegalRN
    You come to the ER from the detox center because your BP is 210/120. You were just here yesterday for the SAME thing. You were given scripts for you BP meds. You tell me you had your last drink today, but have no money to buy your BP meds that are on the $4 list.

    Maybe if you take the money that you use to buy alcohol, you can afford your meds. And BTW, how did you buy your alcohol if you don't have any money? You need to get your damn priorities straight!
  10. by   amarilla
    #1: it's the middle of the night, go to SLEEP!

    No, I don't think it's funny that you called 911 to tell them you want to fire your doctor and we are all idiots. *sigh.

    Mom is NPO for surgery in the morning, as we've told you all yesterday and all night; sneaking her pop and a bagel first thing in the morning means surgery is CANCELLED! Thank yourselves for a job well done.

    (to the Doc who asked me how I 'allowed' that to happen - I was pingponging like mad all night between a bleeder whose doc wouldn't answer pages, two pts on Q2 hour pain meds, two total cares, three admissions and one ICU transfer who decompensated. Sorry I wasn't there to be food police but everyone is alive! SHUT IT!).

    Sir, you're over four hundred pounds and had a hearty dinner. I promise you will not starve to death being NPO after midnight for a ten o'clock case. Trust me, please? I kinda do this everyday and all.

    Yes, I know your medications.....we went over them together, remember? Twenty minutes ago? I'm the SAME NURSE who just admitted you.

    No shower meant no shower. Wait till the surgeon finds out you showered with those sites still open. Oooohhh!

    Stop unhooking yourself. Really. It's not as easy as 'just pinching together those thingies and reconnecting them' when your line infiltrates and I get to poke you again for another.

    Your telemetry monitor lets us watch your heart. Dumping it in the toilet is hardly going to ruin MY day, but it might not turn out so well for you.

    You can't even keep your eyes open or talk to me. NO MORE PAIN MEDICINE!! No, I'm not ignoring you. I'm telling you: NO MORE PAIN MEDICINE UNTIL YOU CAN STAY AWAKE AND BREATHE!

    Ahhhhhh. Thanks guys - feels better!
  11. by   tyloo
    When an annoying frequent call bell pusher tells you, "you are soooooo nice," sometimes I would like to say back, "I have noooo choice!"
  12. by   adrianax911
    i work in a prison!! i CAN say all those things!!! a "patient" came up to me and c/o rectal bleed. I told him to stop sticking things up his ass and it wont bleed!! i could never be a real nurse anymore.
  13. by   anotherone
    Quote from amarilla
    #1: it's the middle of the night, go to SLEEP!

    No, I don't think it's funny that you called 911 to tell them you want to fire your doctor and we are all idiots. *sigh.

    Mom is NPO for surgery in the morning, as we've told you all yesterday and all night; sneaking her pop and a bagel first thing in the morning means surgery is CANCELLED! Thank yourselves for a job well done.

    (to the Doc who asked me how I 'allowed' that to happen - I was pingponging like mad all night between a bleeder whose doc wouldn't answer pages, two pts on Q2 hour pain meds, two total cares, three admissions and one ICU transfer who decompensated. Sorry I wasn't there to be food police but everyone is alive! SHUT IT!).

    Sir, you're over four hundred pounds and had a hearty dinner. I promise you will not starve to death being NPO after midnight for a ten o'clock case. Trust me, please? I kinda do this everyday and all.

    Yes, I know your medications.....we went over them together, remember? Twenty minutes ago? I'm the SAME NURSE who just admitted you.

    No shower meant no shower. Wait till the surgeon finds out you showered with those sites still open. Oooohhh!

    Stop unhooking yourself. Really. It's not as easy as 'just pinching together those thingies and reconnecting them' when your line infiltrates and I get to poke you again for another.

    Your telemetry monitor lets us watch your heart. Dumping it in the toilet is hardly going to ruin MY day, but it might not turn out so well for you.

    You can't even keep your eyes open or talk to me. NO MORE PAIN MEDICINE!! No, I'm not ignoring you. I'm telling you: NO MORE PAIN MEDICINE UNTIL YOU CAN STAY AWAKE AND BREATHE!

    Ahhhhhh. Thanks guys - feels better!
    Reminds me exactly of my nights/days!. "OMG WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T EAT FOR 8 HOURS?" meanwhile I am left to think, " Well I haven't eaten for 13 and am still running around so I think you will do fine........"

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